HV says I must make DD take more milk (FF) - How?

[bubblebabeuk]

My DD is 19 weeks old, but born 6 weeks prem. She currently weighs 12lbs has 5-6 bottle feeds a day, taking about 500-700ml in 24hrs.

she's consistant with her weight gain and seems happy and content, however the last three visits to my HV have resulted in her telling me DD must take at least 1000ml or more in 24 hrs (5-6 7oz bottles).

I make her bottles up with 150ml (5oz) in them and its almost unheard of for her to finish them!

She can be a pain to feed, she fights when she first goes on the bottle even if she's cried for the feed and is really hungry, taken about half, stops, gets winded, clean bum etc then its a ordeal trying to get her to take anymore of her feed.

the only feed she will go back on the bottle for after she's pulled off with wind, is the Dream feed. The Hv is so insistant she should be taking more milk but what can I do, I won't force feed her.

Now I feel like the worlds rubbishest parent, so any suggestions on how I'm suppose to increase her intake before the HV gets on my case again?

I'm actually not taking her to be weighed this week because I can't handle yet another, "Your starving your baby" conversation with the HV

Also any advice on how to get her to take the rest of her feeds would be helpful, I really am baffled as to why she feeds like this?

Hello bubble, 12lbs for a baby who is 14 weeks corrected age doesn't sound that bad to me. I don't have a growth chart in front of me (am a HV) but it certainly doesn't ring any alarm bells. Is the HV correcting your DD age to account for her prematurity?

Secondly you can make up any amount of feeds but if she won't drink them then you cannot make her. Why is your HV so concerned? Is your DD dropping through the centiles?

You are not a rubbish parent and you are not starving your baby. You are doing the best you can to give her the feeds. Personally speaking I'd say that if this HV stresses you out then stop going to the clinic. Is there anywhere else you can get her weighed?

Another thing would be to go and see the GP and say "my HV is concerned because of DD's feeding and weight and what do you think"? Chances are that if the GP is on the ball he/she will check youtr DD over and say "nothing wrong as far as I can see" in which case you just continue giving the feeds as you have always done and ignore the HV.

My DS was a very difficult feeder (although not prem)and I had all this from my HV too until in the end I stopped going to her clinic and found another one.

With her feeding she might just be a "little and often" gal. You sound like you are doing all the right things around feeding - you strip her off, change her nappy and wind her. You cannot do any more than this. It might be worth making up smaller feeds and be prepared to make them more often.

..... and have just googled and looked up your DD's weight on a chart. 12lbs = 5.4kgs which puts your DD on the 25th centile (when I correct her age). I don't actually think that's a problem. Obviously I don't know your DD or have access to her records but quite honestly I think that sounds okay. What was her weight at birth?

....I meant 13 weeks corrected age... ofg course. Too esrly and not enough coffee.

stop getting her weighed

she is GAINING weight

she is happy and content

i assume she is having wet and dirty nappies?

is she sleeping ok?

You cannot force a baby to take more - if she isn't finishing her 5 oz bottles she isn't going to tkae a 6 oz one

My DD is 20 weeks corrected (3 months prem) and just 12lb. Last consultant appt she dropped through the centiles like it was going out of fashion, but he wasn't concerned (I was!) and will see her again in 3 months!

I never see my HV if I'm honest (although I guess I should one day...) and weigh her at my local SureStart children's centre baby drop-in session.

We too has the weight battle. My ds is a year old soon and only 14lb, he was 3 months early too. My consutant suggested topping him up (he's bf) st first but it was soon obvious he wasn't interested and wouldn't take it. His weight gain is very slow but consistant and he's following his own line up the charts, it sounds like your dd is the same !

Fwiw I think babies put on weight at their own rate. I know with my ds that whatever I feed him doesn't make a ounce of difference, he just plods on the same.

I think your hv is being out of order, if I were you I'd ask you see somone else

I work it out asbeing almost on the 9percentile anyway, I can't see what's wrong with that!

Gosh sorry io would totally ignore the HV, you cannot force milk down a baby if they do not want to. I had the same thing with my dd 2.9, she would never finish a bottle, the more i would force the more angry and upset she would be and would choke really. My GP said that dont worry just give them what they want dont worry at all, i did that and now she is a happy toddler guzzeling milk like nobodys business and eating ok. These HV do worry thats why i did not go much with dd, i used to ask my fil who was a GP now retired and he would help immensley. Dont worry just give what she wants, if she does not want it dont force. They take what they need.

I would take her to be weighed, and next time your HV mentions her weight, demand a paediatrician appointmnent, who will hopefully tell the Hv to back off.

Please dont think you are rubbish parent you are not, some of these HV are a law unto themselves, mine was very good but others

Please, people, try to avoid telling people to 'ignore' the HV, or that the HV is talking 'rubbish'.

HVs do get it wrong sometimes, that's for sure, and there is a training gap in their knowledge of infant feeding.

But the HV has seen the OP's baby. She has access to history and knowledge we cannot know about, just reading a few lines on a talkboard.

Maybe what the HV is saying is incorrect and unhelpful, but how on earth can we tell???

bubble, it's pretty clear whatever the HV has said, she has not explained her rationale to you very well. It would be a good idea to talk to her and ask her the basis for her advice, and if you are not satisfied, then of course you can speak to another HV...I hope things work out.

She was 4lbs at birth, but dropped to 2 lbs 9oz while in special care being tube fed, she finally came home when she weighed 5 lbs. she seems to be following the 9thpecentile according to her red book the HV filled in. The HV felt that while she is gaining, in her opinion she should be gaining more than she is and attributed her low weight gain to the amount she is feeding.

She suggested DD be started on solids, which I disagreed with, because it doesent have any real calorific content compaired to milk. she said that because I was so adamant about sticking to milk til 6 months (corrected age) she said DD would have to be taking more milk, hence the issue of trying to work out how to do that?

I think I'll go along tomorrow get her weighed and when the subject comes up request a referal to a consultant.

Thankyou for all your help, as you say she's got plenty of wet and dirty nappies, sleeps well is content so she's obviously getting what she needs. I looked at her chart in the red book and she's actually been going UP the percentiles rather than down anyway.

The HV does know she's prem and is working on a corrected age, that was the first thing I said when she wasnt happy with DD weight and feeding.

She also felt DD return to night feeds was an indication she's not getting enough? she only gets a dreams feed at 10pm, wakes for a feed at 4am then again at 7am then every three hours going to bed at 7pm everynight.

It's good you're able to seek more specialist advice, bubble.

You cannot force a baby to take more milk than they want, yes the hv has told bubble that she needs to increase the milk she gives to her dd but if her dd does not want it. Bubble has said that she seems contented not loosing weight, plenty of wet and dirty nappies so there you go. I would nmot worry bubble your baby sounds as though she is doing well imo.

if HV is suggesting solids then no matter what she is talking rubbish - far, far too early for that

see a different HV, GP or paediatrician but doesn't sound urgent

Just wanted to say that dd1 wouldn't take much milk at all and was small on the charts but she was happy & content so I didn't worry. My HV suggested waking her at night to get an extra bottle in...from which she took not even 1/2 and ounce . Anyway, we decided to just go with the flow cos we were happy that she just didn't want more milk and she's fine. She's small but so am I (and I was v thin as a child) so we didn't think twice about it.

dd2 is fairly similar though does take more milk than dd1 did. She's started waking in the night a bit more lately (4 months) - in part due to growth spurts and now with teething.

Were you concerned about her or is it just because the HV thinks she should be having the same as most other babies? Remember that the amounts babies 'should' drink are an average and there will be babies who take more and babies who take less.

Thinking about it my 4 moth old takes 4 x 6oz bottles (though mostly only has 5oz) and maybe a couple of 2oz feeds during the night so about the same as yours.

The HV was worried (not me!), But because DD is gaining weight and happy I don't think its a problem. Also I was looking through my older daughters red book and she didnt take the amount recommended then either and certainly didnt require force feeding or weening early.

Had our weigh in yesterday and had a chat with HV, she will refer us fir an appointment up at the hospital, but her reasoning for suggesting DD should be taking more was apparently at this age she should be sleeping through and able to go longer between feeds(?) her suggestion on how to increase the amount DD takes is to revert back to feeding her every two hours, (obviously she's not demanding every two hours) and she will end up increasing the amount she takes, then to make her wait three to four hours and she should take more milk then?

Needless to say I'll leave well enough alone until we see a consultant, especially as I bumped into my Midwife in the waiting room and she said "All babies are different, if shes gaining weight and happy, she's probably fine"

Will be updating you all once we have our consultants appointment, but I already feel reasured. Thanks everyone for being there and offering advice, its wonderful to have a support network to fall back on

bubble - your midwife's advice is very sage. All babies are different indeed. The rationale your HV is giving makes it sound as though her concern is about you and not your DD. Although I obviously don't know you or your baby - from what you've posted I suspect that the consultant will say "happy, healthy baby" and that will be the end of it.

As you say - weaning at this stage has no calorific value so not sure what your HV's reasoning is behind that.

Is your HV concerned about your DD at all or is it really just because she feels you should be getting a full night's sleep now?

If that's the case she either hasn't had children or is a Gina Ford affiacondo who got her babies through the night from an early age.

Babies waking at night don't even enter my head when I run a clinic - that's just what they do. I only discuss that if a Mum comes to me and asks about it..... it certainly would not be the basis for me suggesting that they wean their baby or that they force feed milk a baby doesn't want.

Personally I think you are doing everything you can be doing and that's great. Hope the appointment with the consultant goes well.

Gosh bubble your HV is my dd 2.9 has only just started sleeping throug the night at about 2.6 years. You have a baby not a robot, they vary it makes me so cross that hv/mw worry mothers unessariy. Just do what you are doing, obviously i do not know your baby or you but if i was told that about my dd i would tell them politely where to get off and stop worrying.

Fromn what you are saying you can see your baby putting on weight, happy contented for dont worry and the hospital will hopefully tell you as such so that they can back off and leave you to look after your dd alone.