the "cold turkey" method of getting refusing baby to take a bottle

[minxofmancunia]

have to get ds to take a bottle now for my own sanity.

Missing sisters 30th birthday tonight because of his complete refusal to take a bottle, had been planning to go for months cos have to be here to bf.

Can't handle the trapped feeling going getting seriously depressed.

Dh wants to try "cold turkey" i.e. I go away for the night and eventually ds will take it.

Has anyone done this? Did it work? How horribly traumatic was it?

As much as I hate bf at the mo it breaks my heart to think of him crying and crying (he's 10 weeks). But we have to do something, this issue is ripping apart our family.

And it IS this issue, I had it with dd too and when she finally accepted a bottle the pnd went.

If he really won't take a bottle and I want to stop bf what are the alternatives as i can't carry on like this. Please help.

I'm sorry I don't have any experience with this but I'm bumping for you.

Have you tried offering it in a cup? I seem to remember this is possible with a small baby. They lap it a bit like the way a cat drinks.

Have you asked your HV for advice?

I do hope you find the right solution.

You will find lots of posts on trying different bottles / teats etc.. but from my own research it seems that some babies just don't like the bottle - HOWEVER I am a great believer that eventually they will take them because they are so little and don't understand how to be stubborn yet. I think you are right about your concerns on upsetting him though given his young age.

I had a bit of a mare with my dd, but she now takes one at most feeds if I offer - with the exception of the dream feed at 11pm. As such, I've ditched the lunchtime feed and she has a bottle instead. I can live with the late feed until she weans.

I use Tommee Tippee bottles, medium flow teat (don't make it too difficult for the baby), and I keep the temperature of the milk warm, but not so warm it cools too quickly. My partner helped get her to take it and we got her happy with expressed milk before moving to formula at 4m. Don't underestimate how long it will take but don't beat yourself up over it either. I'm not sure why you couldn't attend the party though - does he feed a lot? Once his feeds stretch out you should get some time to yourself but might be a bit of sacrifice at first.

Talk to your health visitor. I also found the NCT breastfeeding line very helpful too.

DD was taking a bottle at 10 weeks but subsequently started refusing - tried a lot of things but giving her frozen EBM (though obviously warmed up!)instead of fresh has got her back to it. Apparently it can taste different to fresh, and this 'novelty' value can help with some babies.

Don't know if this really is the case but it seems to have worked with us.

Also get someone else to feed DS while you leave the house.I would watch the teat sizes though, DD can't cope with a fast flowing teat so I would start small with a newborn sizes and go up if you think he's got the hang of it.

Fingers crossed.

thanks for your advice, i've tried frozen ebm, formula, 3 different types of bottle, a cup (with v limited success) leaving the house, everything. Nothing is working. The only option seems to be the cold turkey one.

Dh is desperate for us to do it as I'm so unhappy it's affecting all of us.

Couldn't go to the party as it's in a different city and would have meant an overnight stay. He's pretty good at night re wakin for feeds but dh would potentially have had to battle with him at least 3 times prob more if he'd been refusing and falling asleep with exhaustion . Also would have had to cope with 3 year odl dd too and wouldn't have been fair to leave him with 2 upset kids.

What size teat are you using?

using new born teat size, the prob is he just doesn't latch on he either plays with it in his mouth or screams and turns his head away completely.

I've once managed to trick him by swapping breast for teat during a feeding session and he took a few ounces of ebm. However next timi I did that he was wise to eat and started screaming straight away, he really does hate it, but I'm beginning to hate bf

Well - that could well be your answer. Get a bigger teat size. My DD never got on with newborn and went straight to a size 2 teat. She was happily in a 3 months plus one up until 12 weeks, when she suddenly started to refuse it. I replaced it with the next size up and we were off again.

I've got the same problem now with my DS who's 4 months. I wanted him to take formula from a bottle to help him sleep better at night, but I'm also going back to work full time at 6 months and need him to drink from a bottle in nursery.

The only way I've got him to take a bottle feed, but only about 50ml or so, was in his car seat, when we were at the doctor's, and I sat facing him. He was hungry but not starving as he's tended to panic if DH or I tried to bottle feed him when he's really hungry, even with expressed milk. He's never taken a bottle from his dad as he seems worse when I'm not there and just screams with milk running down his chin.

Personally I wouldn't go for cold turkey because I don't want to make feeding from a bottle into a big issue for DS but I know someone who has, and her son stuck her out for 11 hours before giving in and drinking from a bottle. Also, I've been told that giving DS a bottle of expressed milk to play with, when he's calm and not hungry, so he gets used to holding a bottle without it being feeding time works. It didn't work for us but might work for you?

I needed my DD (5 months) to take a bottle as i needed to give up BF for my own sanity too. She totally refused to take a bottle and would go mental if a i put a bottle anywhere near her. After 2 weeks of trying the softly softly approach we went cold turkey last weekend and at worked. I last breastfed her during the early hours of Sat morning and then only offered her the bottle from then on evey hour or so. It took 48 hours of constant refusal and strops (on her part) but finally she took a bottle early Mon morning. It was a very stressful weekend! I gave her 3 sloppy meals a day using breast milk so she was getting some fluid. I offered her different bottles and teats, expressed breast milk, formula, warm and cold milk, i got other people to try and feed her, i left the house, i tried everything but in the end she took cold formuala and wont take it any other way now. I read that it takes 48 hours to change a baby's habits. DD does not seem bothered by the change and loves her bottle now, wanting to try and hold it herself. my breast milk has now almost dried up. Just be strong, have someone with you to support you, and just go for it. Good luck!

Also found she liked the NUK bottles with laytex teats - not as big as the other teats so didn't make her gag. Now she is happy with taking a bottle she is using all the various bottles i bought and doesn't have a problem with any of the teats!

thanks for your story chapette the prob at the moment is he's only 10.5 weeks and we can't give him food to stop him starving. The softly softly approach took 6 weeks with dd and I'm loathe to go through that again but the thought of him crying and being so upset just crucufies me.

I know I just need to be strong, dh has said "just go away with dd and come back when he's taken a bottle". I know I need to, God it's so tough!

Will order some Nuk bttles and get some bigger teats today.....

Cold turkey worked for us - fully BF DS used to take bottle quite happily from 3 weeks on when once a week I left him with DH to spend some time with my DD, take her to ballet, etc.
However, at 12 weeks, DS suddenly decided 'no more bottles' and refused any time I or DH offered it. As I am also going to work at 6 months, I decided to deal with this straight away - one day at about 14-15 weeks I breastfed DS at 9am and then DD and I have left for the day, coming back at 4pm. We found DH and DS in good spirits, but DS has eaten nothing since 9am. I kept trying and have eventually got him to take his first meal of the day in his Tummy Tub at 6pm (he loves his bucket and talks a lot when he is in, so he didn't get upset when I shoved the bottle in his mouth, instead he 'remembered' what to do with it). I kept giving him bottles all that night, he still got initially upset but eventually took each of them. By the next morning he no longer refused bottles and we started mixed feeding.

I started him on Dr Brown bottles as their teats are a bit softer (we had them left from DD who was a colicky baby) and switched to Avent after a month of this. He now loves the bottles

Good luck - I think cold turkey is much more stressful (and painful) for you than for the baby