All night feeding - DH says I'm wrong - pls help

[overmilkwood]

I'm sitting here in floods of tired tears after the night from hell. DD is 11 weeks, and has just fed every 40 mins - somtimes an hour - since midnight. She doesn't take the bottle so I do every feed.
She did genuinely eat each time - it wasn't token sucks then sleep - and my breasts felt a lot more empty than usual. I posted 2 days ago about oversupply, but last night the soaking was a lot better - therefore I can only assume that she ate it.
My DH has just told me that it's ridiculous that she feeds that much, and she must be doing it for comfort, which has made me feel rubbish. He's generally very supportive, but I feel very sensitive (and exhausted) at the moment.
Could this possibly be 'normal'? Is it one of these awful growth spurts? She has a cold, but I thought that was meant to make them feed LESS not more.
Please reassure me that I'm doing the right thing - or do you think I should try and settle her without food?
TIA

You poor thing, a very un mn hug

You are doing the right thing. You are very tired and your dh probably is too as well as worrying for you that you can't do this all the time.

It does sound a little often but hey she's a little baby, and if you are sure she was feeding and not just sending herself to sleep then it could just be a growth spurt.

I used to wake dd up if she feel asleep bf during the night, just to make sure she got as much as she could. Even changing her nappy.

Remember you drink more when you have a cold so it fluids as well as food.

Oh and rememmerb it won't last forever

Hi Overmilkwood. I'm not an expert, but wanted to answer in case no-one else is up.

First of all, we've all been there - sleep deprivation is hellish, you have my sympathy. 40 minutes is a typical baby's sleep cycle, so it sounds like she's been wanting to feed every time she wakes instead of half-waking and going back to sleep again. If she doesn't usually do this then I would guess it is down to having a cold. If her nose is blocked then that could be waking her. If she's feeling unwell, then it's entirely natural for her to want to feed for comfort, and nothing wrong with that (except that it's very tough for you).

I don't have much advice, except hang in there. If she doesn't get back into a better sleep pattern once she's got over the cold, then you may want to consider some gentle sleep training (especially if you always bf to sleep). But that's for another time, not when she's unwell.

oh lovie.

sounds pretty normal to me (from my experiences) you need to make sure you're resting up and drinking plenty (yes mum!)

you have my every sympathy....remember the mantra...this too shall pass!

chin up...be kind to yourself. x

Good morning,
Its pants when they feed constantly through the night and as its only you that can satisfy them its a real drain on you emotionally and physically.
However, as a bf mummy to a 18 month old, I can honestly say the 'every hour feeding' generally usually lasts for 2-3 nights when they're poorly as yes it is for milk but its also for comfort and extra cuddles from you.
My dd also has a cold and is teething so I've had my 3rd night of 'every hour' feeding (and she's 18months ) so I so know where your coming from.
When children are poorly a lot of routine and what one normally does goes out the window as they just want constant reasurring cuddles, so as someone else said, be kinder to yourself, it will pass.
Is there any chance that you can catch up on sleep during the day naps?
xx

you poor thing, hope tonight is better.
It may or may not be normal but it's what your dd needed last night, and she's far too little to be trying it on or beng naughty.

Normal - I've had four babies and it really is totally normal.

Besides, what is wrong with a teeny baby needing some comfort? It was only a few weeks ago she was tucked up tight inside you never feeling hungry, never without feeling you 'cuddling' her, never alone, never cold. Of course it's going to take time for her to get used to that - some say months.

And comfort (or non-nutritive) suckling is very, very good for baby and you - the hormones you both release are really good for you both. Good for baby's immune system, good for their emotional state - like a really big yoga session!

Keep at it and get as much info as you can to prove to your DH that it's ok to do so please can he support you to do the best for your DD.

Thanks everyone - it's good to know that it's normal, and also you're right - if it's what she needs - hunger or not - then it's right to give it to her. Just so tiring though - I find myself dreaming about her taking a bottle so I can share the load!
Very interesting about 40 mins sleep cycles- she never naps for longer than that either, so I guess she just doesn't ever get herself back to sleep. Sure that's a common problem with babies from what I've seen here.
I think if someone fed and rocked me I'd sleep for a week!!!!

you poor thing. I awlays found a terrible night was followed by a fairly easy day / night, hope that's the case for you.

Have you tried her with a dummy to see if she is just comfort sucking?

As long as it isn't something that turns into a habit ie hourly feeding every night forever more then it is quite normal, esp if she is poorly. Does sound like she needs to learn to self settle a bit though if naptimes are that short too.

Sorry you had such a rough night. The bad news is that suckling that often is totally normal but the good news is that it certainly won't last forever- in many cultures where babies are carried and sleep with their mums and have unlimited access to their mother's breasts, babies have small feeds upto 4 times an hour - remember they have teeny tummies at this age and breastmilk is digested very quickly, so this is a very natural and healthy way for her to feed. Just not so great for you if you have to get up to feed all night long.

You don't mention where she sleeps - you could try sleeping with her using pillows behind your back to get comfortable? This way you can catch up on sleep while she helps herself as she needs to. It can be hard to let yourself sleep at first, but just try to relax and after a while you should be able to drift off.

She doesn't need to 'learn to self settle' at such a young age, so don't worry about forming habits. It may be that she's just upping her supply too, and after a couple of intense nights, her demand will probably level off.

About 11 weeks 12 weeks common to have a growth spurt, where you will be basically feeding baby all the time, constantly for a few days. Then it will probably settle down.
Baby of 11 weeks is too young to be left to self settle IMO, babes cry because of a need. You are the provider of her needs, food, warmth, cuddles etc.Its normal and things WILL improve, hang in there you are doing a great job!

I would second the dummy suggestion. DD (15 weeks) stirs regularly during the night but is usually settled with a dummy.