Worse experience breastfeeding in public today

[Mareta]

Hello all,

Just need to take it out of my chest. I went to have a coffee with a friend today and had the most horrible experience since my DD was born. My mentality is if women can bottlefeed their babies anywhere I can breastfeed my baby everywhere too. However today I was breastfeeding my baby as I do as usual any where I am, and this man (he couldn't be older than 35 years old) was looking at me as if I was doing a terrible thing. How can in today society be still people than do not tolerate mothers breastfeeding thir children? What do they expect as to do? Starve our children?

I just cannot believe it. We are talking about a young man who could became a father any time now. Will he expect his wife not to feed their baby in public? Or will he rather she bottlefeed their baby? I am still in shock of what happened. I really believe that a mother breastfeeding a baby is the most beautiful thing in life and still there are plenty of people closed mind that they find it disgusting.

In the last 4 months I have breastfeed my daughter whereever I have been, cafes, planes, trains, in the park... and today for first time I have got a really nasty reaction. Lucky enough the man didn't tell me anything. However thinking it now I would have prefered he had told me somthing so I could have told him what I thought about him and his mentality.

Sorry that his comment is not very possitive but I had the need to tell someone to help me feel better. I am so angry . My DH won't be happy at all because he is the first one to tell me to breastfeed our DD in public and give me his support.

Please feel free to comment your experiences if you have had similars an tell me what you did so next time (if there is another time) I am prepared to fight back. Even if you haven't had a similar experience please let me know how you would react in this type of situation.

Thank you to all of you for listening.

I'm sorry you had this experience. What did you do, brazen it out? I can't comment, I've never really had any negative reactions in public (but then I do tend to send out "don't even think about it" vibes) - I've only ever had grief from family about it.

Tis his problem, not yours, and perhaps if he goes off and says something about it to soemone else there's a chance they'll educate him. Don't let it put you off!

Sorry, did he actually say anything? Or just give you a nasty look? You seem to be reading an awful lot into it...

That's a shame, Mareta.

Of course you should bf whenever and wherever.

Here in Scotland, we have a law which backs this up. However, it doesn't stop looks I guess. I am hoping to bf dc 2 (struggled with ds1) and will be bfing wherever he/she needs it. It is a lovelly thing to do, but it is also a NORMAL thing to do. It is getting more common, so hopefully attitudes will change, but it takes a long time.

Keep feeding yor wee one. MOst peoplle either won't even notice or will think it is nice.

Mareta he's a horrible, uptight loon with deep issues and probably a touch of misogyny.

You, on the other hand, are a lovely mum who feeds her baby the best food available when the baby wants or needs it.

Don't change a thing. Carry on doing what's right and natural.

yes i agree, are you sure that wasn't just his normal face if not then he's an idiot, but you know that

I would second the comments about people's grumpy faces. Look round a coffee shop most of the time and someone will look like they're giving another customer the evil eye. DH and I are always commenting on what a grumpy nation we are .

Or did he say something?

Hi all,

Thank you for your comments. He didn't say anything but it was enough with his face. I just couldn't believe. I love breastfeeding our DD and it is something I really enjoy. Knowing that she is growing because of my milk makes me feel special (at least for her at the moment). For sure I will keep breastfeeding her but I think next time around I will be prepare if something similar happens to me.

Are you sure he actually had a problem with bf? I am a bf'er myself but sometimes find myself inadvertently doing a double take when I see someone else bf. No particular reason, I just do.

Anyhow, unless he actually gave a dirty look, tutted at you etc I really can't say he was purposely giving you a snide look. He could have just received a nasty text on his phone and looked up at the same time for all you know. It's also a very grim day - maybe he was just in a bad mood and had a look of thunder on him.

Stop feeling so angry...

Another one with a DH who looks like a serial killer with his 'neutral' face on - people will actually get out of DH's way as he can look so mean without meaning it (helps getting through a crowd, mind).

Anyway, OP, I'm sorry this bloke made you feel bad but don't waste your energy worrying about him (whether he meant it or not) - just get on with feeding that baby of yours wherever and whenever she needs it!