day 5 - dont think i can carry on, please advise

[mosschops30]

thats it really, im losing the will to live. im sore, one nipple is bleeding despite ds not been on the breast since sunday afternoon. he's had a mixture of formula and expressed breast milk, ive been expressing 3 hrly, although this morning there seems to be very little there (only 2mls compared to about 50mls usually).

Im crying over everything, my scar hurts, i hate my mother and id just like one thing to be right.

I know i'll be made to feel like the devil for stopping but i just cant see how its gonna get better

Aww, poor you.

I'm not an expert, and I'm sure one of them will be along shortly, but just wanted to say that there are many, many people on MN who have felt in exactly the same position on day 5, and haven't seen how it can get better. For those who get the right support, it almost always does get better. Slowly but surely (and sometimes fast!) it does get better.

Expressing isn't really an indication of how much milk you have (still feeding DD at 7 months, struggle to express 25mls some days. Am lazy at expressing as a result).

You won't be made to feel like the devil for stopping, but you sound like you want to carry on. Have you tried calling a breastfeeding helpline? Can you make it to a breastfeeding cafe or other support group?

i have to try and express again at 1pm then ring mw and let her know how it goes. shes gonna then involve the senior bf woman to come ans see me.
so far have seen maternity assistants who have been fabulous, lots of great advice.

Mosschops, I read your birth story and it's not surprising that things are hard. I also had an em c-s with ds and found breast feeding really hard afterwards. It took about 2 weeks for me to feel as though I had enough milk and then things were OK. Friends of mine swear by fenugreek tablets which are meant to help boost supply and perhaps after a difficult birth your milk is just a bit slow to kick in. Also day 5 is horrible, I think I cried non stop and with the pain of the c-section to contend with it's not surprising that you want to give up.

Can you just focus on getting to the end of each day and hopefully things will sort themselves out and you'll start to feel better?

Also ignore your mum (easier said than done I know) because the name you've chosen for your ds is absolutely lovely!

Well that sounds promising. Is the breastfeeding woman accredited with one of the breastfeeding counsellor services (can't remember them all. Tiktok would know. NCT and LLL are two of them)? I only ask because the breastfeeding woman at my hospital was useless. Kept grabbing my boob and manhandling it. If that's the type you get, don't let it put you off. There's better help out there!

Get her to observe a full feed, start to finish, not just latching on.

oh dear mosschops. have you got lansinoh? it will get better, you just need good help. have you got people around you so you can just concentrate on recovering from birth and spending time with ds?

Congratulations mosschops glad he is finally here.

I'm only just getting comfortable feeding at 3 weeks, it's actually been worse than with DS1 even though I know what I'm doing with DS3. I think he inflicted nipple damage when I was so tired and out of it in the 1st 24 hours that I didn't notice. So hopefully you will be able to get some RL support and carry on, but if you don't you are not the devil

Get Silverettes mini cups. I know I recommend these to everyone. But they are worth their weight in gold... well, silver actually . They heal nipples quickly and allow you to be pain free both in between and during feeds (for me they worked within a day and I still had cracked, bleeding nipples at 12 weeks!) It just makes such a huge difference. Then you can feed comfortably and your milk supply will increase to meet the baby's needs.

mosschops

Horrible to be in pain and so miserable.

No one will make you feel like the devil

You need expert real life help - if the senior bf person you're seeing is not helpful then there are other ways of getting it.

I am a bit at 'lots of great advice' - and yet you are still in this situation.

Let us know how things go.

I know it probably seems hard to imagine but you'll turn a corner any time really soon. Try to hang on in a little longer as it does get easier i promise!

Mosschops, congrats on the baby.

Firstly if you did give in and give formula that says nothing about you other than younfed your baby formula, you hear?

But it's still saveable I think, if you get the right support.

Are you getting pain meds for the scar? I ahd to take paracetamol just to BF at all with a cracked nipple so with a scar at all that must be addressed.

I didn't find NCT in our area a massive help tbh, but I am a fan of the ABM (association of breastfeeidng mothers) and the La Leche league. Oh, and TikTok of course. Natch.

I don't want to counteract all the positive support here, but I'd just like to throw in my 2p.

With DS (now 2) I had similar problems to you - agonising pain. DS had a tongue-tie, but also just hated being BF'd The tongue tie was sorted at 6 weeks, but even after that he hated it. I BF'd to 9 weeks, and expressed for a further 8 weeks, and then weaned him on to formula. I beat myself up over the decision to stop BF, and felt really guilty over whether I should do it or not. When I actually made the decision and DS was on formula, I felt so much better. I was dreading the next feed / express, I started to enjoy spending time with DS and I was so much happier. I had lots of positive support along the way, lots of good advice that in the end didn't make a jot of difference!

I've just had DD (she's 3 days old) and BF is working a charm this time - she feeds like a trooper, and although it's sore, it doesn't make me sob while feeding, like it did with DS. It just reminds me of all the heartache I went through when I was struggling with DS.

Sorry, that's all a bit convoluted, but basically what I'm saying is that sometimes, it just doesn't work. If it doesn't work, then do what works for YOU, because your DS probably won't notice a jot whether he has BM or formula, but he will notice whether you're happy or not.

Also definitely get some decent pain relief for your CS scar and get that potential infection looked at. Push for Solpadol/Tramadol ( can make you constipated though) or Diclofenac rather than just OTC co-codamol. Don't settle for any less.

Hope you're feeling better soon, because I really identify with what you're going through!

Sorry that should say that once DS was on formula I WASN'T dreading the next feed!

thank you all here's today's plan from bf woman:

keep on expressing 3 hrly with pump
keep on applying lansinoh
keep on applying cabbage leaves between expressing
feed from bottle - ebm or formula
do not worry about volume
apply warm flannel prior to expressing
rest nipples today and tomorrow
go to drop in on thurs so they can help me with 2 or 3 feeds

stitch comes out tomorrow
pain bit better today, taking paracetamol and dicolfenac
not crying for the moment

Hi Mosschops,

Sorry to hear all you are going through. I had similar problems with my DD now 4 months. She was born by Emergency C-Section and after we were moved to the ward she was then moved to Neonatal Unit for 3 days which was horrible. I was left in a room with other 5 women and their children, making me feel like a looser. To top it up noone would take to see my DD to the neonatal unit when I was with the drip and everything else from the operation. It was 24 hours after the birth that I could see my DD. Also I didn't get any help from anyone in the hospital to help me express some milk to feed my daughter so as I requested she was being feed with a tube for 3 days before we were reunited. The day we were reunited I was moved to the transitional care room and I spend the whole night trying to breastfeed a litle baby who hadn't had skin contact with me for more than 36 hours (when I was going to see her to the neonatal unit I was told a few times that I couldn't hold her because they were finding very difficult to settle her later) and without any help from anyone.

After that we were sent home and all the problems started. First she was 24 hours on my breast, even when I was trying to eat, my scarf hurt it a lot and need help even to sit or getting up, later I got blister on my right nipple and mastitis on my left breast which meant I had to take antibiotics for a while. At the end things got much better, after two weeks my mum ame to see us (I'am from Spain but live in the UK) and that was a big relief. My nipple started to heal, my mastitis to disapear and sudenly I was making a lot of milk. I think after the C-Section it took a whil before I was producing the milk that my DD needed.

With all this what I want to say is calm down and relax (even though it may seem impossible), get all the help you can have (professionals and friends/family) and things will stat to get better soon. I think it takes a while before your breast produce the milk after a C-Section.

Hope you can keep breastfeeding but if this is not the case do not think you are evil. You can only do your best. Good luck

well i have tried to express again, at 1pm and 4pm, still very little produced and now so painful i can barely move the pump without wincing in pain.

am resigning myself to giving up, i promised dh i would try at 1pm and 4pm, but its not getting better, its getting worse, hes now buying formula at the shop

am sorry its turned out this way for me again, but ive given it 5 days, i still feel very sore from c section, have 2 other dcs and a beautiful baby boy who i just want to enjoy not feel like its a hardship to feed him

mosschops....I do wonder why you are using a pump on damaged nipples. Hand expression is usually gentler and more effective, esp in the early days.

Whatever you do....you deserve a lot of TLC and support and time to recover.

mosschops you sound like me ten days ago: DS3 is 2.5 weeks old and I have two other DSs. Big, huge hug from me because you are probably feeling really emotional and tearful right now. I'm not going to give you any advice as there is plenty here already but whatever happens every feed you have done, every day, is something to be proud of.

I'm glad you've made your decision Moss - hope everything from here is straightforwards

Hmmm this sounds like me - day 5 too. Nipples are agony, have ust fed and sobbed the whole way through and afterwards too. Npples cracked and raw, one ha a blood blister. Saw a midwife yesterday and she observed me and said the positioning was perfect so it's not that she's not latching on properly (she was observng as the baby wouldn't latch on right nipple). She has also fed every two hours for past few feeds and I don't know what to do when I need to feed her next on the bleeding side.

I can't face it and am very close to expressing and using a bottle. But am worried that she might then get nipple confusion. s it worth doing it to give my right nipple a rest? Has anyone used breast shields? I know they aren't recommended as they can hinder milk supply, but I have loads of milk and would rather use them than stop altogether. Is this normal though to be in so much pain as I am now concerned that I am not latching he correctly and just making it all worse!? Help !

Don't beat yourself up Mosschops, stop if you feel you have to but if you do want to keep trying then I think you need some more advice - have you tried breastshields? They might help to heal your nipples. You are right, your beautiful baby is here and by the sounds of things you have brought up two other healthy children with formula so give yourself a break.

Kingsroadie Breastshields saved me from giving up breastfeeding my DD. From day 2 my nipples were cracked, bleeding, so very sore I was crying everytime I fed her. I had thrush in my boobs which was also very painful. Using the breastshields for a couple of days and putting loads of lasinoh on my nipples gave them time to heal slightly and I didn't have any problems with my supple - I think that only comes from long term use. I went on to use them a couple of feeds a day until I was fully healed but like I say it didn't have any affects on me or my DD (except positive affects of being able to continue).

Kingsroadie - see another midwife if you can. Nipples bleed and crack as a result of the baby taking the nipple in a way that traumatises the skin. This cannot be a 'perfect' position. There may be some oral anomaly or other difficulty preventing a pain-free feed but no matter what it looks like, this cannot possibly be a good bf position

Boo to your midwife for not helping you.

Tomorrow, phone the bf helplines and phone the midwives and get someone else to come and see you.

silverettes! I know I'm screaming it but I SO wish that someone would have told me about them straight away. They heal nipples so quickly and make you comfortable between feeds (they used to just crack, bleed and stick to breastpads even with lansinoh ).

There is nothing wrong with expressing a few feeds if you need to. However I found the pump to be even more painful throughout sometimes.

Make sure there's a lot of breast in the baby's mouth, more than just the nipple - the baby won't choke on it (I thought that).

Another vote for nipple shields here, they are seen as old-fashioned and midwifes are reluctant to recommend them but they worked for me to get over initial dificulties (em CX under GA, flat nipples, baby who found it hard to latch on). I used them for about a week I think, didn't affect my milk supply (had too much if anything).

Used breast shields for 3 days at about 1 week in with DS1 which gave cracked nipples enough time to heal, then carried on feeding for another 7 months until I went back to work. Don't think I could have carried on without that short term use, so I would say it's worth a try too. And another one here who didn't find it affected supply - milk was squirting around the room as soon as breast pads came off for a good few weeks

Can I throw in mixed feeding at this stage is probably not very good for your supply.

Is your baby tucked in really really close because I found that was the problem with mine feeding, not the latch or mouth but just not close enough.

Good LUck.