returning to work, bf-ing, funny hours, etc

[Lexilicious]

Hi all, I'm going back to work in five weeks, full time, and also starting back at my TA troop. This is going to be tough (and this post is going to be long). Please help me plan?

Baby will be five months old (born at 42 weeks when I'd been on mat leave since 38!) and after a rocky start and a few weeks of erupting mastitis, bf-ing is going really well.

I'd planned to go back four days a week to my main job but as DH is probably being made redundant (currently taking unpaid leave to help the boss postpone the evil decision) we need me back on full pay. So that's 9-5, Mon-Fri, plus a commute which could be up to 90 mins. Baby will be at nursery at work for at least two of those days, which leaves three days when I'm away from him from 0730 to 1830.

First question: How many sessions of expressing am I likely to need in that working day?

Next situation is more complicated. I'm an officer in the Territorial Army and I have to drive halfway round the M25 to my TA Centre on Tuesdays (I could probably negotiate only to do two a month) and also go away training one weekend a month. While pg I went straight from work and drove back straight afterwards, getting home about 2200. For the weekends I am also likely to leave straight from work on a Friday, and be released to come home about 1600 Sunday.

So, Second question: On Tuesdays I'll be away from baby 18 hours, how many expressing sessions and is it likely to dent my supply (I know one-offs don't hurt but this will be pretty regular, particularly combined with the daytime absences)

Third question: What is a whole weekend away going to feel like, am I going to be able to pump off effectively or am I going to have really painful boobs?

In about March I should do an Annual Camp (two weeks away). Is that going to be the end of bf?

Overall, feeding is going to be dominantly EBM - is it going to chip away at my supply? What can I do to keep it up, to be able to step up production on demand? I'm thinking being generally healthy and not worrying would be a start! But should I take holiday here and there and solidly BF for a few days?

sorry so long. Any answers to any of the above would be brill

Hi Lexi, I went back to work when DS was 4.5 months, and went back to travelling for work when he was 6 months, so did do this a bit !

I was away from DS from 8-5.30 on normal work days. Until he dropped a feed, I expressed three times a day - something like 10, 12.30 and 2 iirc. This was double pumping with a Lactaline, then hand expressing after to get all the milk out. We'd have fed at 7am, and then feed at 6 when we got home, and he had 3 EBM bottles during the day.

On your Tuesdays, I'd pump 4 times at work, and then when you get to the TA centre if poss (you can pump OK in the car). Depending on how your baby sleeps, you might need to pump on getting home, but if you expect them to wake soon, you wouldn't need to bother

As long as you can pump effectively, a weekend shouldn't be a problem. You can up milk removal by hand expressing down the loo a bit when you can (I couldn't believe it when I found myself doing this at airports) if its not possible to express as regularly as you would like.

Feeding on demand whenever you are together, and taking holiday in short chunks to feed lots will help keep your supply up

Lexi - honestly, I think it will help you best to speak to someone about this, in real life. The breastfeeding helplines are well used to helping mothers work out complex feeding/expressing schedules and it's easier in actual conversation.

Speaking generally, to preserve your milk supply you need to express as often as you'd expect your baby to feed, from both breasts.

I think two weeks away from your baby when she is eight months old may possibly end up as the end of breastfeeding....not because of your supply (which you can maintain by expressing) but because an eight month old is a but unpredictable about these things and may either lose the skill and/or be confused and befuddled about you doing away and then coming back again. This is hard to predict and mothers do return to bf after a break, but to be honest, I have not heard of this happening with the mother herself being absent for two weeks - but I hope you get some replies on here that might show a variety of experiences to help you decide.

The other thing to think about is that 2 weeks away from your baby at that age is likely to be hard for you - what do you reckon?

But I do think that babies who are used to mummy coming and going deal with these things with less issues. In my case, I went away for just over a week when DS was coming up to a year old, and he was as keen on bfing when I came back as before. He was exclusively bf to 6 months and kept feeding till 23 months.

I think the three things that helped us was that when I was with him he never had a bottle, that when we were together we fed totally on demand, and I didn't discourage night feeding.

Going away from DS was hard, but my theory was this was what I had to do for work, and we did it.

thanks both of you, I'll spend my last weeks of freedom working out the expressing timetable I guess!

tt that's a good point, I will definitely try to see an expert in RL before going back to work.

It's possible I could get DH to bring him out to see me on the two-week course, as it's not likely to be a field exercise but a classroom based thing. I could ask to go stay off base for a night and do lots of feeds. Psychologically ... well I've been on plenty of thoroughly miserable army courses, camps etc and wished I was anywhere else but there. Add in some hormones and I expect there will be tears but once the decision is made I'll just have to deal with it.