BF at 20 months

[MadameOvary]

(apologies for the weird layout, my pc is doing this and I have no idea why!)

I am still BF DD at 20 months. I would like to stop but no idea how. It is mainly for comfort and mainly at night and when she comes back form nursery. It increases when she gets a cold or bug and becomes very clingy. I dont know how much milk she is getting but it cant be much surely? I give her a bottle of milk at night, which should maybe be given in a cup by now, I dont know. TBH I am too befuddled by sleep deprivation (she has never slept through and sleeps with me) to know really what to do.

Would appreciate your perspective/advice. TIA.

Blimey - I could have written your post! Except my DD is nearly 23 months and I am pregnant again so would really like to stop now.

Mine gets hardly anything, just uses me as a dummy. She also has a bottle of milk at bedtime but ends up in my bed during the night and then feeds on/off for rest of night. I'm exhausted and want her to stop.

I obviously have no advice as otherwise I wouldn't still be feeding her lol but will watch this thread with great interest. My DH wants to send me away for a weekend and wean her then - he will tackle the bedtime issue aswell as if I'm not there then there's no need for her to come into bed either. To be fair, she doesn't ask for 'booby' if I'm not around so I don't think she'd be too traumatised if I went away but not sure if it's the right way to go about it?

I've also considered sticking plasters over my nipples and telling her that the boobies are broken! She'd have to get over it eventually but I know it's going to be very hard on us both

gecko us 2.9 and booby obsessed

it is geting hard but I can't possib;y take her one and only comfort from her just now

good luck

i have just managed to stop bf Ds2 at 18 months. I first started changing the routines - so when he was expecting bf when we got home from nursery I distracted him with chocolate cake instead! I sat in a different chair for storytime and then DH put him in his cot - or we let him fall asleep in pram in front of peppa pig [not excellent parenting but it helped break the feed-sleep association).

if DS woke in the night I would offer water but if he really needed picking up I would hold him standing up - never ever sitting down and never in the bf chair.

I really thought he'd be distressed with it but he was (and is) totally fine. was more of an emotional upheaval for me.

Icklejess - we co-sleep as I wasn't very pro-active at getting her into a cot

Trinity - no-one could blame you, esp in your situation. But it must be so hard, giving comfort and in need of it yourself. Hope you are doing okay and still getting masses of support.

MTM - I know that changing the environment is a good idea but I am so knackered most of the time its easier just to feed. However whenever I have gotten up and walked around with DD its a good distraction. Have started taking a cup of water to bed in case its simple thirst, which sometimes it is, esp if DD has a blocked nose and mouth-breathing makes her throat feel dry.

oh MadameOvary it's so awful when you are that sleep deprived

you are doing well to even be able to start thinking about it

do whatever you can manage - rereading my post sounds like I just decided to do it and got on with it - in reality it took me months to work out and plan all those distractions and actually get on with it

good luck

DD is 17mths - I'm planning to stop around 20 like I did with DS but I also can't really remember how I did it so following thread with interest.
She fed every hour through the night last night - it's becoming a PITA to be honest

(((Trinity)))

I realised in the end that DS2 needed me to have a full night's sleep far more than he needed the miniscule amount of milk he was getting 3 times per night.

Giving up BF is such a heart wrenching thing - I almost feel a bit hurt that he doesn't want it anymore.

I stopped when DS was 18 months.
This is all I did: I took one polo-neck top and put it on, basically for the week.
Gave a beaker of whole cows milk, warmed, at the normal feeding times. Breasts leaked with milk all week.
By completely hiding under tops and jumpers I made the switch immediately and DS did not seem bothered and could not fish around in my top looking for breasts!
I don't think I did anything else except offered lots of interesting food to DS during the day (it was Christmas last year) and changed the bedsheets a lot (there was a lot of milk!)
P.S. If I had wanted to give a night feed at the end of the week, I still could have, the milk wasn't completely gone, but I wanted to stop immediately. I actually think it took a month or so for milk to really stop being produced.

I'd be interested to hear how you get on, OP. I'm trying to stop BF my 20 month old DS. Well, "trying".

We managed to stop the morning feed about a month ago, so now we're down to bedtime and whenever he wakes in the night, which is most nights, to be honest.

Morning feed was pretty easy to drop as DH would go in with cup of cows milk and DS seemed to take to that pretty well. Also, it's easier to distract him when we're up for the day, going downstairs for breakfast, etc.

I can't really consider dropping bedtime until we sort night wakings, or so I think anyway.

Have you looked at Dr Jay Gordon's method for night weaning? I can't seem to implement it myself, but it may work for you. It seems to be a very gentle way to start, anyway.

Nighttime is so hard for me b/c my DS screams bloody murder if I go in to him and don't BF. DH isn't as willing to help out in the middle of the night, so we're still struggling with it.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

Thanks for your posts.
Lol at the polo neck idea. It doesn't matter what I wear, DD knows what's in there, and if she'll just grab the polo neck in an attempt to stick her hand in!

Oddly enough, she sometimes is happy to fall asleep with her hand on my chest. I have a little mole/skin tag above my left breast that she seems to need to find before she's happy and will look for it even when she's half asleep, then settle down.