How often do you breastfeed your 19 / 20 month old?

[MaMight]

Ds is 19 months old and wants to breastfeed all the time.

I think I have two related but separate issues.

1. He wakes to feed at night (6 times last night). I don't mind once or twice but any more than that seems a bit unnecessary. I have absolutely no idea how to calm down the night feeding. If he sees me he wants milkies and gets hysterical if I try and fob him off with water / daddy / cuddles. Also, in his ideal world, he would do all of his sleeping while latched on.

1. He seems to use breastfeeding to punctuate his day.

Wake up = breastfeed. Have breakfast = breastfeed. Fall down = breastfeed. Sister steals toy = breastfeed. Need a nap = breastfeed. Arrive at someone's house = breastfeed. Arrive home again = breastfeed. Have a cuddle = breastfeed. Feel a bit bored = breastfeed. Get out of the bath = breastfeed.

I don't like saying no when he asks for milkies (and he really doesn't like it when I say no) but sometimes it does feel a bit much. If we are playing at friends and there are lots of snacks and drinks and children he knows well and fun toys and he's not tired / hungry / upset / nervous then surely he can manage for a couple of hours without breastfeeding?

Just to be clear, I don't want to stop and I do love breastfeeding, and of course I love my little milkies monster, but I wonder if there is a way to gently encourage him that his world doesn't have to revolve around milkies. Or is that normal at his age?

His sister self weaned at around 14 months so was less assertive about it all, but even when still feeding it was a sustenance / comfort thing for her, not an endless habit. But then she had her blankie and sucked her thumb which ds doesn't.

I don't know what to suggest but I wanted to offer my sympathy, as your DS sounds exactly like my DS2 (19 months).

I work during the week, which makes things even worse when he sees me in the evening. And the weekends are a nightmare, with me refusing boobie all day apart from moring-naptime-bedtime and him throwing a padi about it.

If dh gets up in the night with he just has a cuddle and goes back to sleep in 2' (he's teething). If I get up the whole thing turns into an all-night breastfeeding session!

DS1 was EBFed but not so emotionally depandand on it. But my DD was exclusively bottle-fed and she was using her bottles and milk as a security blanket until she was at least 3!!! I suppose it depends on the child.

Sorry, this was not practically halpful at all, but I hope you'll find the fact that you're not alone helpful.

And if you manage to break the cycle please let me know how...

btw, by EBFed I meant exclusively bf, not expressed.

Thanks mummygirl. It's nice to know I'm not alone. It is wearing, isn't it.

How lone have you been rationing breastfeeding (morning / naptime / bedtime)?

This could be my 20 month son too.

It's the persistant night feeds that are getting me down. I haven't slept through since early 2008. But mostly I have enough sleep.

So I am implimenting the plan.

Last week, I refused to give him a boob when out of the house.

This week, I refused to give him a boob during the day.

Next week, I'm going to quit the feeds during the night, but keep the bedtime feed and one first thing in the morning. I know he won't like it, but he is becoming tollerant be me saying no sometimes, and Daddy will go to him in the night until he gets used to it.

I don't know whether I will go the whole hog and go on to stop the morning and nightime feeds at the stage. We'll see.

Hi again,

I have been doing the three feeds a day since he was a year old. But he still cries and rolls around the floor about it. I think it's more about him not getting his way rather than wanting boobie.

I don't think he'd stop waking up in the night if i stopped bfing, he's happy to take a bottle, just not from me

I'm not planning on weaning him off the breast completely,I'll let him self-wean since i know it's not gonna solve the problem

Wolliw, good luck with your plan next week, hope it all goes well without too much drama.

PS: poor thing has the flu and went to sleep all dosed up and slept for 9!!! consecuttive glorious hours!!! First time ever, and probably last for a while. But silver linings (for me) in his suffering. I know, terrible mothering

With a toddler that wants to breastfeed several times a night, and it's a problem, I would recommend Elizabeth Pantley's book - the No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and pre-schoolers. Her chapter 'The Nighttime Nursling' is fab.

I think my friend may have a copy. I'll ask to borrow it.