Last night was so bad - i need someone to hold my hand

[rubyslippers]

DD fed from 1 in the afternoon and finally crashed out at 11 pm

give or take the odd nap on my lap she fed and fed and fed

she then woke every hour during the night

this is on the back of 6 weeks of broken sleep = she is exclusively breast fed but i can't do a night like that again

she normally cluster feeds for 3 - 4 hours in the evening then sleeps but this was awful

she wouldn't settle unless she was on the breast

I am on my knees with tiredness and feel like quitting breastfeeding - it is not enjoyable in the slightest

oh - and DH tried to get her to take a bottle which she utterly refused

she is just over 6 weeks old

is this usual???

ruby sorry to hear you had such an awful night. Is it possible she has a slight cold or otherwise feels a bit off colour? Ime you can have one really bad night and then it all returns to "normal". No wonder you feel so knackered.

If she sleeps a bit today (she might) then try and get some rest yourself. I would suggest try with the bottle again perhaps another time? my dd1 refused ebm completely, but dd2 really took to it. It's very common for them to refuse it the first few times.

p.s. with dd2 it was around this age we gave her a dummy. I was very anti-dummy until I had a little girl who just wanted to suck and suck the whole time unless she was resting on my lap.

It is very tough. Well done for getting this far with the feeding, personally I found it very hard to completely "lose" my evenings, especially as I was used to it being "my time" when my older daughter was in bed.

i checked her temp - all ok

tummy was nice and soft, so no belly ache

she is sleeping now so am having a cuppa

i will get DH to try again with the bottle maybe when things are calmer

thanks

Wishing you (and her) a restful day and (more importantly) a more peaceful night. Sometimes I think if you can just get maybe 3 hours uninterrupted it is slightly easier to cope.

Sorry to hear you had a bad night RubySlippers.

It sounds to me like it could be a typical six week growth spurt - she is suddenly very hungry and feeding loads to stimulate your milk supply, and that is perfectly normal. Can you take her into your bed and feed her and rest in between?

It does get better, I promise.

It sounds utterly knackering.

How do you feel about cosleeping?

I'll hang on with you there Ruby - my DS is 7 weeks and we are all over the place with feeds and sleep. Typically he is good all day but it all goes haywire from 5pm. He's feeding, napping and screaming then until about 1am (it was 3am so some improvement LOL). Just about impossible to get DD in from nursery and tea cooked, baths etc. Even having him in the sling is tricky as he won't always settle and doesn't like feeding in it.

I can cope with the feeding as I can camp on the sofa and MN, but the random screaming is just awful. He is really tired and takes little 5 min breaks then wakes up and starts again. I take him into bed and try and feed him to sleep, but he seems determined to scream at full volume for at least 1/2 an hour before passing out. He'll then have 2 more feeds during the night before waking at 6 with awful wind and proceed to nap, whinge and fart until 8 when we all get up for nursery.

The endless sleepless nights really get you down huh, it's amazing we can function at all - as it is I can't retain any memory for more than 5 minutes so I have to write it all down - though I have managed to miss 3 appointments so far! To add to my woes DD is also waking more than usual - 5 times last night, DP has moved into the spare room . Just have to remind ourselves that this will pass. My DD was similar I vaguely recall and I went on to feed her until 2.3yrs, at some point it became a breeze and we both enjoyed it.

Sorry, didn't mean to turn this into a vent of my own. Hope you can take some comfort during the long nights that you are not alone, and there are others of us marking each night hour on the clock. I'll send you a virtual hug at 1am . It will pass, just keep going a little longer, when you look back this will seem a very short period in your parenting career!

thanks all - we do co-sleep

she is either in bed with me or in the moses basket next to me

i can feed lying down thank goodness ...

i feel like i have come so far, so i don't want to stop but on the other hand i can't function well right now

Poor you! I remember that sleep deprived feeling so well. When you're this tired, you need to look after yourself, and not have too high an expectation of what you're going to achieve in a day. Try not to get in a panic about your ability to function (which is what I used to do) - if you narrow down the day to what you really need to do it seems a bit easier to deal with.

Ruby I had to re-read your post as I thought maybe I had written it and forgotten because I am so sleep deprived.
My DS is nearly 5 weeks old and has been feeding every hour through the night. He falls asleep on me but when I try and put him down he seems to wake and then becomes distressed with wind and so we start the whole routine again. He seems to be so hungry so I tried him with a bottle the other night but he couldn't manage it. I have been feeling so tired especially as I had weeks of insomnia before he was born.

Yesterday I really was at breaking point thought I couldn't do this anymore, was weeping and snappy with everyone. However, last night he slept from 12.30am till 3.30am then 5am till 7.30am. I feel like a new person, I am trying to think what was different about yesterday but can't think of anything.

I am only telling you this in the hope that tonight you get a better night and tommorrow you feel refreshed. If not I don't see anything wrong with trying some formula. I'm usually very pro-breastfeeding but this is hell, you have my sympathy.

thanks - it is oddly comforting to know it is usual and that others are going through it

she is not napping much at the moment but she seems happy enough ...

will see how it all pans out

each day as it comes i think

Hugs to you ruby, the tiredness is si hard to deal with isn't it? My day yesterday sounds v similar to you and I wanted to give up- constant feeding, little naps followed by winding/screaming and no settling unless DS was on the breast. I have a nasty case mastitis and he finally crashed out at 3.15am, feeding on the infected breast while I sat there with the chills and headache from hell. Woke up this morning, tried to feed him him from my (now annoyingly soft) other breast and it was agony, got a milk blister for my trouble.

So I rang a bf counsellor who was able to fit me in late morning. She rang back 10 mins later-cancellation and was mercifully here within 15 mins. She told me that its a growth spurt and it will get better. She also told me that 6 weeks is the point at which most women give up bf-growth spurt cpuopled with exhaustion and softening breasts makes them think they've not enough milk and just can't do it any more. I know now that I have more than enough milk. We also looked at positioning and tweaked it-DS now seems to be feeding far more efficiently.

Can you get a bf counsellor out to you or get to a local group where you can meet mums who are further along? I'm off to one next week-had resisted it until now but need the reassurance that it will pass.

You are doing so well. If it helps, feed your DD then get someone to take her out for a bit- my DH does this at night sometimes and I get 2 hours unimterrupted blissful sleep.

Erm, I had exactly the same thing and ds grew out of it at about 6/7 weeks. I'd had it for all 6 weeks mind. My life saver was co-sleeping during the afternoon - have you tried that?

RemembersThisAllToWellTiggaxx

Has she managed with a bottle before? If you're knackered it might not be the best time to introduce it - it takes a lot of perseverance.

It is a growth spurt and will pass. And the other thing is - it's very likely to get a lot easier in the next couple of weeks. Everyone says it - it doesn't seem possible in the 6th week itself - but then it actually does...

the first six weeks suck. (pun intended)

then it gets better.

honest.

am sort of hanging on in there

each feed i do now is a positive

can;t even think in terms of days

i do co-sleep mainly at night - can't really in the day as i have DS to entertain and he won't nap in the day

how you doing rubyslippers??

Hang in there ruby. I remember marathon feeds with dd, and sobbing on the phone to my dh (he was working abroad) that I wished I'd had some formula in to offer her. I'm glad that I didn't though (and actually she always refused it anyway). It will get easier, and you'll look back on this and feel so proud that you kept going.

Don't they have a growth spurt at 6 weeks? It'll settle down soon I'm sure. DD2 is 8 weeks and can now wake up and not want a feed immediately. It's a revelation!

You're doing so well Ruby to keep going.

I agree with the growth spurt theory - very likely at 6 weeks - lots of sucking necessary to stimulate more milk production. Also positioning very important so when she does feed, it is efficient. Even small changes can make a difference - I agree it's a good idea to get help from a counsellor as it should at least be reassuring if you are doing everything right and at best could make a big difference. Also have you tried carrying her in a sling for the times she may just be sucking for comfort rather than feeding?

I had to carry DS in a sling most of the day for a few weeks at this age as he would not sleep lying down during the day. This is v tiring when also caring for a toddler, but it was by far the best option to have him happy and getting enough sleep. When he had lots of little broken sleeps because I kept trying to settle him down, he would get really wound up and take over 30 minutes to settle again even when in the sling.

Eventually about 3.5 months he was able to sleep without being carried and life was much easier again - he also started to go to bed in the evenings then. It should get better for you soon!

thanks for the moral support

am still going with the breastfeeding ...

she is dozing on my lap befre the next feed

i can't feed her in a sling - have tried

how do i find a bf counsellor?

thanks again - i do love MN

Numbers for bf organisations are on rhs on here. NCT, LLL or ABM would be my first choice - just try them all until you find one who can help .

Couple of things that worked for us; well DD1 at 7 weeks and DD2 at 4 weeks (i got going earlier!) and at those points we reclaimed our evenings; which was bliss.

Our milk supply is generally at it's lowest in the eve and they are hungry (hence the multiple feeding); so I encourage an early cluster feed before bed; rest of day is every 3 hours but before bed 5pm and then 6.30pm. They don't really get it to start with; then they do (3 days or so) and sleep well.

We persist with putting them down in the dark; less distraction; lots of walking around; rocking etc but they get used to being in their own relaxing space. Hold fast on bringing them back downstairs no matter what. V tedious for a few days but sooo worth it.

Cranial oestopath as early as possible in case of any inherent birth challenges; both of mine were v fast and got squashed up; doesn't help with wind etc. Much better after being straightened out.

Best of luck!

mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding#Breastfeeding_helplines

there is also some good sensible reading at mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding

damn meant to put
mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding

mumsnet.com/babies/breastfeeding#Breastfeeding_helplines