Just letting off steam. Grrr!!

[fanjolina]

So, I have exclusively breastfed my DD to 6 months. First time anyone in either of our extended families has done so. THroughout this time DD has not been a great sleeper. Woken at least twice each night, but not really a problem as I take her into bed with me so I fall straight back to sleep.

However to everyone else it seems to have been a problem. For at least 3 months now I have had "well meaning advice" that I need to feed her formula or baby rice to get her to sleep through, as my breatmilk is "obviously" not enough for her. MIL even told me how DH was weaned on to baby rice before his due date! (He was 5 weeks prem). Non-stop bloody telling me to do this and no recognition of how well I have done with breastfeeding.

At the end last week DD started nursery. Due to this she has been having formula during the day, as well as a little bit of pureed veg. Coinciding with this she is now sleeping 12 hours at night.

Well, that could be cos she is exhausted from nursery, or it could be becuase of the formula and food. But all the bloody family can tell me is how pleased they are she is now being fed properly and that she must be happier as she is sleeping through and that I have starved her for most of her life.

Well done for breast feeding for 6 months and I hope I can manage that long when my boy decides to make an appearance. I expect you make your family feel guilty for not breastfeeding so as a good friend once said to me 'B* to em!' everytime one of them says something so stupid think that and say if she was starving I'm sure the Health visitors/Dr's would have said something. None of my family breastfed either or on my OH's side and I am already getting negative comments about breastfeeding. My fav one from someone (not family) was 'god don't breastfeed, formula feed because then you can get pissed when you want' Hmmmmmm I'm 37 and I think that maybe at this age I will put my baby first rather than alcohol?!?!?!

fanjolina I have exactly the same problem so you are not alone! My mum will not stop asking me about DS's food, made even worse by the fact that we are doing baby-led weaning.

He still wakes 2/3 times a night and I am knackered but can't moan to anyone as i get the usual 'helpful' advice.

My Mum actually asked me yesterday if I had had enough of BF and thought it was time to give up (DS is 7 mo)

It makes me so . If you don't BF, people judge and if you do they have a very specific idea of how long for.

I feel your pain....rant over!

Well if it helps, I think you have done BRILLIANTLY

Sorry you have suffered the same Giraffe. It is maddening isn't it.

BlueCollie - I am sure you will do fine with breastfeeding. Just make sure you have access to lots of support if things start going awry. That is why I failed succesfully breastfeeding my other children.

Dita - Thank you

Starlight - yes, I think I will do that! Or at least drop all the children on them at the weekend (evil cackle!)

I have a similar bit of family helpfulness going on - my ds (15wks) refuses to drink from a bottle entirely and also my EBM from the freezer smells odd. We're sure we're doing it right - freeze straight after expressing, defrost gradually/overnight in the fridge not near the door/walls. But it still smells a bit sharp after only a couple of hours at room temp.

My dad, bless him, thinks that ds will take to the bottle more readily if it was formula.

I'm very happy that bf-ing is going so well (after a few 'issues' along the way) and I only need him to drink from a bottle so I can go out every now and then. But at 22 weeks I'll be at work so he really needs to have it cracked by then.

Unless ds is seriously objecting to the taste I just don't believe FF would make a difference. He's rejected the bottle even when it's been expressed only minutes before.

I haven't pressed my dad on why he thinks I should move to mixed feeding (he's not at all suggesting I stop bf entirely) - it could be he's thinking of my time saved expressing, as anyone can make up FF.

I know if I did, like the OP we would instantly get longer sleep because of the digestion/full-up time.

It's very difficult but I think I want to say "I don't want your opinion on bf/ff because it feels like a very personal criticism, undermining me and my body. Even if your way of settling a baby to sleep, singing, reading stories are different from the way I've chosen to do them, I appreciate that kind of advice because it does not feel so personal. Telling me FF is 'better' than the product of my own bosom (whether in sleeping time, weight gain or some other outcome) is deeply saddening. You may think it irrational but for the moment I and my partner, together, as parents, as a joint decision, rank the health benefits of BF higher than a straight night's sleep."

Sorry you are subjected to equally unhelpful advice Lexi.

My dd has refused every bottle we have ever given her, whether it contained expressed breastmilk or formula. She would just chew on the teat a bit, then spit it out and refuse it in her mouth again. We tried so many different types of bottle & teats but no success.

I didn't push it as it wasn't an issue when I was on mat leave, but tried just before returning to work and she still wasn't interested. So I tried a cup and she loved it! In fact she loves all cups - open Doidy cups, standard sippy cups, no spill beakers. You name it, she will drink from it!

So maybe try your DS with a cup?