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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I am a little bit scared of attempting to BF this time around.

21 replies

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 15:47

There are lots of examples on MN of people really struggling with bf, and whilst I realise that many people have benefitted from excellent support and advice, it's really putting me off.

I didn't bf dd, I gave up after one day and ff her. It seems like ff really is the easy option, and I am becoming increasingly concerned about even attempting to bf ds.

Does anyone have any words of actual encouragement? I have tried very hard thus far in my pg not to overthink the whole thing, but I am watching my friend ff her baby, and wondering whether it's worth it.

OP posts:

Poledra · 17/11/2009 15:50

See how it goes, Pinkjenny. I really struggled to establish bfeeding with DD1, but DD2 came out knowing what to do. No problems at all. Well, OK, it took a couple of weeks for my nipples to toughen up again but that's fairly par for the course.

Try not to get too worked up about it (easier said than done, I know). It is worth it, you can do it.

Original poster

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 15:52

Thanks Poledra, I really don't want to fall at the first hurdle like last time, but I am concerned that I will just cave in when the going gets tough, as it inevitably will.

OP posts:

Poledra · 17/11/2009 15:54

But just think, you'll be so much more relaxed about the whole new baby thing this time. You know (s)he won't break, you know how to soothe a baby, how to change a nappy, how to bath them etc. This time, you can concentrate more on the feeding and the other stuff will be second nature to you!

Original poster

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 15:56

This is very true. But this time I also have a 2.7yo dd who will strongly object to me being stuck to the sofa feeding all day.

OP posts:

ChairmumMiaow · 17/11/2009 15:59

pinkjenny - every baby is different, and you have no idea what it is going to be like for you this time round.

A friend ended up FF her first and, while she wanted to try to BF the second wasn't going to get upset if she couldn't. However a completely different birth and a DC that just took to it means she's still going strong at 4 months. It might be hard and it might not!

The best thing you can do is to be prepared. Know where to go for help - find your local groups and get in touch in advance. Know the things that are most likely to go 'wrong' and the things that aren't actually a problem but are difficult (frequent or cluster feeding for example).

Good luck, and just take each day as it comes.

me23 · 17/11/2009 16:01

it is SOOO worth it

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pW93kKZYMM

www.beastar.org.uk/the-be-a-star-girls

Poledra · 17/11/2009 16:02

Get organised for DD! Get new books to read to her, it won't kill her to get to watch a bit more TV for the first few weeks, anything else you can think of that she can do while you're sitting down. TBH, DD1 was a complete book monster, so I could end up reading for the hour or so that DD2 fed for! Put some cartons of juice in a cupboard that DD can reach, so if she wants a drink while you're feeding, she can get it herself (special juice only for when mummy's feeding).

Original poster

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 16:03

ChairmumMiaow - that's exactly the philosophy I was adopting, really until the last few days, when it all seems like it's going to be really hard.

Will try and adopt a more positive mental attitude.

OP posts:

cantmummyhaveabreak · 17/11/2009 16:03

Pinkjenny- i'm now BF my 9mo DD2... fed the other 2 DC's till they were 12mths each. Had my fair share of problems with DS, and had i known of MN then i would ahve been one of the ones moaning and asking advice and putting others off even more.

However, with DD1 and this time round i haven't had a single problem. This time round DD was prem and i had to express, plus care for the other 2 Dc's and trolly them back and forth here there and everywhere but we still managed to get it good.

I have had bad experience of BF, but the most-part has been very positive.

If i'm honest i admit the first 3 weeks of having DS were awful with cracked nipples and he had a poor latch for the first 2 weeks... however once we got through it it was much better.

The first couple of days are going to feel like LO is feeding non-stop, which is baby being hungrier and trying to get the milk with substantial calories for them... once your milk comes in at around day 2-4 they will start going longer between feeding, and will hopefully have a good feeding routine (or some kind of pattern/structure to it) by around 3 weks old. That was always the point when i felt we'd got there and there was no going back!!

Hope some of what i said is understandable and sounds positive??....

Original poster

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 16:04

It really does, thanks for all the useful advice. Will try to chill.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 17/11/2009 16:05

pj, of course you see loads of threads where people are struggling - that's why they start them! If everyone who doesn't struggle also started a thread you'd see more of a balance.
As you say, don't overthink. Wait till your baby's here and give it a go - see how you get on? When are you due?

Original poster

Pinkjenny · 17/11/2009 16:06

ELCS on 29th December, SPB. I must repeat your penultimate sentence hourly until then, I think.

OP posts:

HumphreyCobbler · 17/11/2009 16:07

just take it one breastfeed at a time

don't think about the long haul, any breastfeeding is beneficial, especially at the beginning.

Have a basket of special toys that only come out when you are feeding your new baby. My friend bought her toddler a little baby that she fed while mummy was feeding.

You will have to be faffing round with bottles if you ff anyway, and speaking as one who did both, it is easier just to stick the baby on the boob. That way you have one hand free.

Jackstini · 17/11/2009 17:28

I too found it helpful bfing with a toddler around - dd was 2.9 when ds was born. I did a lot of reading to her too and she'd snuggle in on the side I wasn't feeding.
If dh was around we'd make a big fuss of 'special daddy time' and he would do something fun with her.
My biggest thoughts of encouragement were:
It's instant (big deal when the hungry cries are going right through you!)
Being able to go out with just a few nappies and wipes in my bag was so much easier, everything else was on tap.
MN - it is fab to have help on hand round the clock - and you can MN whilst bfing (on one side anyway!)
There are lots of encouraging threads on bfing too, you will not lack those.
Just take it 1 feed at a time and try and relax as much as you can.

StealthPolarBear · 17/11/2009 17:31

oooh lovrly christmas present

BeckyBendyLegs · 17/11/2009 18:43

Totally agree with Humphrey I struggled and gave up for various reasons (soreness, v. hungry babies, weight loss, etc) with DS1 and DS2 and am on day 3 with DS3 now and am so pleased I've done day 3 despite being on constant demand by DS3 and sore, cracked nipples already! I will aim to do day 4 too, work on latching as we are learning, and if I do day 4 then see about day 5, etc. Take each day as it come and see each one as an achievement. At the end of the day if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and at least you tried.

StealthPolarBear · 17/11/2009 19:48

at least you tried and you gave the milk you did!! each feed matters

lucasmama08 · 17/11/2009 23:26

Hi PinkJenny, I just wanted to say that I failed with #1 and my first thought when I fell pregnant with this one was 'now I've got to go through the whole bloody bfing thing again'. I actually broke down in tears at my booking in appointment when my MW asked how I planned to feed the baby . Not like me at all!

How long do you have unti baby #2 arrives? I have good days and bad days but as I get further along I'm slowly starting to feel much more positive about it - although I guess there still could be some last minute jitters to contend with nearer the time. I plan to attend my next LLL meeting in December and am hoping that might make me feel a bit better.

Lets hope we both have a better run of it this time

cara2244 · 17/11/2009 23:46

I found BFing tough for the first 5 weeks, and then it became very, very easy!

Good luck.

Poledra · 18/11/2009 09:21

Something else that occurred to me (I bet someone else has already said it!) is find out the numbers of your local BFeeding counsellors - the NCT lady near me saved my bfeeding with DD1 - without her, I'd have given up too. Even the lovely lady whom I spoke to on the NCT helpline, where I wept down the phone to her or 20 minutes late on a Sunday night was a lifesaver.

FishInMyHair · 18/11/2009 09:37

I really wanted to bf my babies but didn't manage very long (10days ds 4days dd). I still feel a pang of sadness when I see people doing it. I no longer feel guilty about not perservering as, if the experts at the bf clinic couldn't get my son on after an hour of trying then what hope did I have? I was determined to try again with dd but it started going the same way so I stopped before I couldn't bare to look at her. If I ever have another baby, I would however try again. Get support where it is offered. There is no harm in giving it a go, you never know.

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