Feeling sad breastfeeding is comming to an end.

[happycat]

My baby is 13 months old and I am feeding her 3 times a day now morning,before nap and bedtime.I have really mixed emotions about it all she is my last baby and I feel that I am finding it hard to let go.She is becoming less interested in it and when I feel brave enough to think I will stop she has a really good feed and we both enjoy it.I never fed my middle child because he went into s.c.b.u and feel so guilty that I should have done it.The staff at the hospital were so concerned that he wasn't getting enough I was stressed and then I gave up after 3 days (he is 5 now and I can't forgive myself).I feel so proud of myself that I have been able to feed this baby for over a year I am scared to stop.When I tell my family that I am still feeding her I have comments like "your not don't you think you should stop now" e.c.t I am just so emotional at the moment about it all I don't no what to do.Any support or advice right now would be greatly appreciated.

wheres Mears? she is the expert?

Calling Mears...

Don't rush it happycat. and don't stress about it. 13 months is still pretty young in my opinion. I wouldn't worry just yet give yourself a bit more time - its not the end of the world if you keep going for a few months - or more if you're happy to.

Thanks codswallop I know you have no advice for me right now but I was great to know that you were there just to read it I feel so down today and need support.Is mears a counsellor or midwife?

happycat, a friend of mine fed her dd until she was nearly 3, so you've got a way to go yet. I stopped around the 8 month mark as both of mine lost interest and began biting. I was sad though, it's the end of a special time.

My Mum breastfed my brother (her fourth and last child) until he was 18 mths old. So you don;t have to give up just yet. It was reduced to just bedtime feeds though.

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A couple of my neighbours still breastfeed their dd and ds at 12 and 18 months respectively - I gave up at 9 weeks as it was making me so unhappy to have leaky boobs all the time but regret it so much now, especially when I see them feeding theirs. I say keep it going as long as you want!

Happycat - I am a midwife who has B/F four children. My last baby stopped herself at 15 months (the longest I had fed) and I was bereft. By the sound of your post neither of you are ready to stop. Enjoy this experience and let your baby lead the way. It is so common for people to think they now have the right to tell you what is best for your baby. If you get any grief, point out that it is healthier for babies to be breastfed into their second year. There are many women who breastfeed older babies secretly because of the flak they get. It is so sad when it should be celebrated.Just don't get drawn into conversations that allow people to tell you what to do.
Well done you for still feeding. Be reassured you are doing a wonderful thing for your baby and it is no-one else's business but yours.

happycat - my dd is also 13 months and I have no intention of stopping in the near future. ds will be 4 next month and still has a quick 'feed' before he goes to bed. Once your dd gets a bit older you can do it in private, enjoy it and no-one else need know.

happycat - still feeding 19month old dd to sleep. I go through phases of wanting to stop, then like you say she'll have a really good feed that she's asked for and we're both happy. It's no hassle, I can't think of a really good reason to stop. Like you I have friends and family who think it's 'odd' (I'm adopted so mum obviously never b/f'd and isn't hugely supportive), but it suits us fine for now. Don't stop if you don't want to. If / when you decide you do, there'll be plenty of mumsnutters here to support you. Hugs

My mum breastfeed my sister until she was 3!! She breastfeed me until 6 weeks when my inteferring grandmother told her not to bother.

I think that you have a good few months left happycat.

I gave up breastfeeding about a week after DD's first birthday (to go back on the antidepressants I gave up when I got pregnant) and I still miss it. In fact I'm looking forward to b/f more than anything else. I had a bit of leakage the other day and was so happy.

Are you talking about family that are of an older generation telling you they think you should stop? Attitudes have changed alot and more positive medical evidence is available, so they may just not 'get it'.

Stick to your guns, or nipples, if its right for you and your DD then thats what's impotant

Important...er not impotant or impotent...doh! Spot the pregnant woman.

Stop when YOU want to! I stopped around 13months and it was fine for me, but I would never, ever think my experience was the definitive one. I think very many of us feel sad when it ends, whenever that is. It is a special time and if you both still enjoy it, carry on. All the medical evidence is on your side - you are still doing your dd good. Also, in your case, with your family against you, I think it is brave to carry on, not brave to stop.

Happycat - I'd like to echo everyone here.... let your baby show you the way (or stop when you want to stop).
Never mind what people say.... there far more people than you think that BF toddlers. And between the milk of cow and the milk of a mother...... well you be the judge !
I BF my DD until she was 19 momths old - she chose to stop I was very sad but it was her choice.

Thankyou for all of your support it has made my day a lot better to cope with.I think I am going to continue to feed her just morning and night.To be honest I think she is winding it down herself which is still sad but I will have less guilt it will just be a sense of loss.I will have to cope with that when it happen's and hope you will all be there for me again.Thank you all so much again I was really tearfull this morning and I feel like I'm not alone now.I don't know anyone who has feed as long as me so I have no one to compare too.I also thought I was abnormal to feel sad about stopping and now I know I'm not.

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happycat, just to echo everyone else, if you are not ready to give up b/feeding then don't. I am still feeding my 12 month old three times a day and like you I feel upset when I think about giving up but as others have said there is no need to give up yet (your b/feeding career could even have years left if this is what you both wanted to do). In my own case I just keep thinking that in a few months my own baby will probably only be taking a feed before bed and it would be nice to continue with this, I probably will feed him in private then but this will be no different from my older son who took a beaker of milk before bed at this age and once he was 18 months or so he tended to have this in private also (time to wind down etc).

All the best!

13 months is very young to self-wean, so I doubt she would of her own accord. She might cut back quite a bit, if she's finding other things to interest her, but still like to b/f at other times. If you are still enjoying b/f and don't want to stop, then don't! WHO guidelines recommend b/f for two years or longer.

I'm still b/f my ds2 (19 months) and have no intention of stopping for a while yet. Yet until quite recently I'd probably have found extended breastfeeding a bit weird. My ds goes through periods when his interest in the breast seems to wane a bit, but at other times he wants feeding quite often. Mostly now he feeds 2-3 times a day - on waking, at bedtime, and sometimes before his nap. Sometimes he has a feed at night, if he's particularly unsettled, but that's pretty rare, thankfully.