eleanorsmum, it is really, really hard early on. It does get much, much better though. I thought I'd done my research but the reality of getting bf established hit me like a ton of bricks! However, it soon became and absolute joy for me and my dd, and like labour and birth, you move on and forget how hard it was for that period of time, once you're on the other side of it, of course. You are doing brilliantly. There's some great advice here about co-sleeping which may be right for you and help you to get rest whilst feeding. However not all advice on bf is completely fact-based, so do your own research if you are confused.
(my wonderful, kindly grandmother used to advise putting butter on burns. It was the most well-meaning advice, but sadly utterly wrong - even harmful. And so it goes with breastfeeding advice, people occasionally repeat what they've heard, or extrapolate from their own experience with the absolute best of intentions, but their advice is sadly, wrong.)
For facts about breastfeeding, you can rely on sites like www.kellymom.com, or the jacknewman info and videos mentioned earlier in the thread.
To avoid you potentially beating yourself up unnecessarily, I need to gently correct a couple of points on the thread (and please go and verify what I say on the breastfeeding resource websites rather than take my word for it)
some babies do feed very very frequently, and can only fall asleep at the breast when they are small. So long as they are healthy and gaining weight - this is normal behaviour. People never seem to tell you this before the baby is born, do they?! It is absolutely hard to live with sometimes, but definitely not abnormal!
A baby can't "use you as a dummy" - the dummy was invented as the substitute for you! It's normal for a baby to want to comfort suck, as normal as wanting to be cuddled. If your latch is good, it is possible to have this go on without pain or nipple damage. Do keep persevering with getting latch and positioning right so that you can bf in comfort! It may take time, but when you crack it is so worth it.
Expressing is absolutely NO indication of how much milk you produce. It's really important you know this. Some women succesfully bf exclusively for 6 months with huge chubby babies and never manage to express more than drops! How much a baby can transfer from a breast and how much a pump can get out are not related. Truly.
The way milk is made is a demand and supply process. The more frequently milk is removed by the baby from each breast, the more your body speeds up its milk production process. The longer you go between feeds, the slower the milk production becomes. Your baby is stimulating your milk supply to uild up to levels that will match her needs. Skipping or delaying feeds tells your body "no milk needed right now, cut back on production please". After a while your milk supply becomes more robust and able to cope with this better, but in the early weeks supply can be fragile, and is more likely to be affected by not following your baby's cues.
Some women manage to mix-feed successfully, as you can see from this thread! So it is certainly possible. However, many more women find that introducing formula early on leads to a sharp decrease in milk supply, and an early curtailment of breastfeeding against their wishes. It's important to decide how you would feel if you fell into that category. This isn't to imply ANY judgement on formula feeding or mixed feeding. Everyone should be able to feed exactly as they wish! Some people are OK with bf for x weeks or months and happily stop bf at their own comfort timescale; some people are very distressed when they give up bf before they wanted to. Only you know where you stand! There will be support here to help you achieve whatever feeding method you want.
Keep posting. And really, well done.