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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Help- 4mo ds won't feed in public!!

12 replies

ParanoidAtAllTimes · 15/11/2009 02:53

I'm a pretty shy bfer as it is, withough shouting/squawking/screaming baby drawing attention to the fact that my nipple is exposed

I think he gets too overstimulated interested when we're out but it's such a nightmare. Today was a classic example: dp and I needed some clothes so we went into town. Ds started shouting for food after an hour or so, so I took him into the parents' room at John Lewis for a feed. He properly screamed the place down! Wouldn't even really latch on. I ended up settling and eventually feeding him in the car.

Anyone else experience this? Will it pass? Or am I doomed to the choice of stressful outings or being housebound until I stop bfing??

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NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2009 06:55

That's strange. (But babies are strange.)

Does this happen at your house if other people are there? Or at other people's houses?

What exactly happens? You get the boob out, and then - what?

What would happen if you draped him with a thin bit of cloth, to hide the world away?

Is there any chance he is picking up on your stress and nervousness about bf in public, and that's throwing him off?

Picante · 15/11/2009 07:10

I think it's quite normal - dd pulls off if she's too distracted or too stimulated. I've found out on google that it's v common for this age (3-6 months).

My only advice would be to try to calm him as much as possible beforehand - maybe cover him with a muslin? Does he use a dummy? I sometimes get dd to suck on it to calm her down then immediately latch her on when I take it out.

whomovedmychocolate · 15/11/2009 07:10

Have you checked for emerging teeth? DD used to do this when she first started teething (at three months ).

Original poster
ParanoidAtAllTimes · 15/11/2009 07:12

Well he's always fed much better at night (or straight after a nap) than in the day. He tends to be off and on quite a bit in the day at my house (regardless of who is here) but not usually screamy. Other people's houses- similar to at mine.

He tends to latch on for a minute or so when in public then start shouting/screaming, then won't go back on at all after a while. I think he just generally feeds better the more relaxed he is but I try to relax him the best I can by rocking him etc. Doesn't seem to work when out and about! He could well be picking up on my stress but not really sure what to do about that!

A muslin or something may be worth trying...

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Original poster
ParanoidAtAllTimes · 15/11/2009 07:14

Oh thanks picante and wmmc- x posts. I think he could be in the early stages of teething- mucho drool, fist sucking etc.

I used to settle him with a dummy 1st but he refuses them now! Just screams more!!

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whomovedmychocolate · 15/11/2009 07:25

Try teething gel before you feed him

NotQuiteCockney · 15/11/2009 07:39

I meant it was weird that he wouldn't latch on at all. Latching on and then pulling off is more normal, I think.

If you are feeling stressed, then your milk won't let down as normal, and that might cause this problem. Could you do some yoga breathing when feeding in public? (Or drape the baby and yourself with a bit of cloth, so you feel less exposed?)

It could be teething, too, as others have said.

artifarti · 15/11/2009 07:43

From about 4 months my DS was impossible to feed in public - if there were lots of people about (cafe etc) he would want to stare about the place and if it was a small gathering (a couple of family or friends) he would just pull off and grin at them constantly. TBH, I never found a solution and as a result I spent a couple of months never being far from home (not a great solution, I know). It got a lot easier after weaning at 6 months when his feeds got less frequent.

Sorry not to be more help. Hope the advice here from others helps you.

CantSleepWontSleep · 15/11/2009 08:47

You might want to try a 'hooter hider' to give him and you a bit more privacy.
I also used to wear a bf necklace so that he had something to play with and focus on whilst feeding, which kept him facing the right way.

Are you certain that he is hungry and not tired at these times?

Original poster
ParanoidAtAllTimes · 15/11/2009 10:41

Thank you for responses all! I will try teething gel and covering up and see if that helps. Artifarti- that's another trick that ds does- if he's not shouting then he's looking around/grinning/babbling!

CSWS- I was tempted to try a necklace anyway as I'm fed up with my chest getting scratched! Where can I get one, or can I make one? Not really sure what they are!
I'm pretty sure he's hungry but often give up and try later just in case he's not. I think the worst times are when he's hungry and tired, as when he eventually settles he has a good feed then falls asleep. However he is quite reliant on feeding to sleep as we haven't got very far with teaching him to settle himself so perhaps he is just tired...

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MaHobbit · 16/11/2009 15:02

Sprout went through this too. I remember a particularly bad day when it was boiling hot and he refused to feed cos he was more interested in the wedding we were at. Finally fed properly at 7pm in the cool sitting on a wall round the back of the venue.

I tried to be near home or in a quieter environment for at least every other feed ,which wasn't then too restrictive. He always made up for it later and once he really got going on solids and started cutting back on feeds at 8-9months it wasn't an issue any more.

Seemed like ages at the time, but looking back it only feels like a small blip.

Original poster
ParanoidAtAllTimes · 18/11/2009 03:02

Thanks MaHobbit, good tip

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