I CRAVE to feed ds

[PrettyCandles]

He hasn't had a feed in nearly two weeks. It was my decision to wean him. It's the right thing to do. But - oh! - I so desperately want to feed him right now. I just want to cuddle up close, under teh blanket together, and feed him.

Resisting is making me feel so utterly .

Do it if you want to.

remember it still has huge benefits.

So do it.

unless there are medical reasons why you shouldn't.

I mustn't.

There is no evidence that the medication I am on is unsafe, but at the same time there is no evidence that it is unsafe. Too new.

I can't even cuddle him the way I want to right now, because he will want to feed and I will have to refuse him.

Typo.

no evidence that it is unsafe, but also no evidence that it is safe.

put on some body armour and cuddle

Have you checked the BfN drugs in breastmilk information.

There are very few drugs that really do pose any risk to babies through mothers milk, and if he's not a tiny baby it's even less of a risk.

Yes, Greenmonkies, I have. I've even spoken to the BfN's pharmacist in charge of that line, and she also said that there's just no evidence one way or another.

Ds is 3, so it's not as if his feeding has been badly curtailed. It's just that we enjoyed it. Most of the time. And now that I'm not doing it my memory jsut glosses over the demandingness, the nipple-twiddling, the kicking legs, and all the rest of the irritations of feeding a toddler, and just lingers on the nice bits.

Oh I posted on MN thinking I would get it off my chest (ha ha) and feel better, because theree's noone I can talk to about this in RL, but now I jsut feel as if I am wallowing and making myself more miserable.

One hour until school run. That will certainly distract me.

Have you thought about what else you can do with him that will make you feel close?

Wait it out.

I think today is bad because of yesterday. I've pretty much got over the engorgement etc, my breasts feel 'normal' IYSWIM, but yesterday I was holding a very young baby, she started getting distressed and rooting, and suddenly I started leaking on one side. So I've sort of been triggered to start again.

Ironically, I think I may have felt a letdown yesterday, for the first time ever!

Awwww.... have a very un-MN hug.

I know slightly how you feel in that I've made a concerted effort to wean DS1 (also 3) for a number of reasons, but still feel very conflicted about it.

Luckily he is still very cuddly so I make an effort to have lots of one-to-one cuddles (with a high neck-line ).

I'm going to go against your instinct and say that you SHOULD cuddle him, even if it will lead to a confrontation about feeding. After all, at some point you'll have to disentangle cuddles and feeding in his mind, and it's a shame you both have to miss out on the snuggling in the meantime.

Could you put on a high-necked top, make him a drink of something he loves (like hot chocolate maybe?) and tell him explicitly that you are going to have drinks and cuddles but no [whatever he calls it]?

Sorry, x-posted with your "wait it out".

The only thing I would say is that DS1 has not had any bfs for... what 2 months? And he still asks for it, probably every other day at least.

So you might be in for a long wait! I hope that's not too depressing, but I think reading other people's stories had given me a false expectation that there would be a magic cutoff and he'd suddenly just "forget", and it didn't happen.

Oh dear, TYV, that is depressing. My others were either too young to remember or self-weaned, in whcih case there was no issue.

But I never thought of actually talking with him about having cuddles without maa. I've tried to be completely low-key about it, and only talked about maa if he brought the subject up.

Tempting...

oh I'm sorry!!! I didn't mean to depress you. It's just I felt progressively more and more conned as time went on and he's STILL asking about it.

He knows it's not going to happen - we've chatted about it and we do other things he likes instead (I was quite explicit about it being a swap). I don't think he feels hard done-by, just a bit wistful maybe?

But hopefully yours will have a shorter memory - perhaps he will be one of these children I kept reading about who just went "boobs? What boobs?" after 3 weeks

But you know him best - so if you think bringing the subject up will upset him more in the long run then trust your instinct.

I never said "right that's it" to DS1. I just took it day by day. But I did say things like "right, today you can't have a feed, but I know, instead we'll have a lovely cuddle on teh sofa, and as a special treat you can have a cup of hot chocolate with a marshmallow, and we'll watch Peppa Pig."

Yup, shameless bribery, that's me

I did a couple of weeks of 'never ask, never refuse', before stopping cold turkey. It was nearly a week before I had to actually say 'no' to him, as we had managed to distract him each time until then. When distraction no longer worked (he can be a very forceful and persistnet little individual ) I told him that he had drunk up all the mummy milk, it was all in his tummy and there was none left in my boobs. Seemed satisfied, though later that day asked again and then responded "But I can still pretend", before pretending - very briefly, to my rleife - to feed through my clothes.

@ feeding through clothes!! How funny.

See, my problem was that I am still feeding DS2. So the "all the milk is gone" line was clearly not going to work while DS2 was sitting there with a big milky-chops grin.

But obviously that made the whole business easier for me in some ways - in that I wasn't actually stopping bf, just weaning DS1.

Unfortunately I do feel like a prize bitch when I feed DS2 in front of him. Which might have something to do with the fact that he's gone on asking about it for sooooooo long.

We can't win, can we!

In that case, gulp, I don't know what to say!

Keep remembering the twiddling and kicking and nipple stretching etc, that might help. Sorry.

I've just stopped feeding DS this week at 33 months, mainly due to my having a horrendous sickness bug and feeling like death for a few days, have got to admit the temptation to start again is extremely strong., but I sort of think having gone a few days of being at home and not feeding it might be the right time to stop. Very sad though

Theyuoungvisitor - it worked! Thanks for your excellent idea .

This afternoon, when I went to get ds up from his nap, I felt the craving again. It was the sort of time of day and mood when we would - once upon a time - have had a cuddle and feed. Ds started talking about bfing before he was even flly awake. So I said we could have a drink of Oatly and he could sit in my lap and we would have a cuddle while he drank.

Oh it was lovely and snuggly, and almost as good as feeding him. I think we were both contented.

Thanks again.

Hobbity - how are you?

Hooray! So pleased

If only all my brilliant ideas worked as well!

Floods of tears last night - me not him, when I gave him a botttle ;-( but we did have a lovely cuddle

Oh this thread makes me feel so ! Stopped bf dd in June she was 27 months and I felt really torn between needing to move on and really wanting to enjoy BF for as long as possible (she is my last). She still asks for it now 5 months on and although distractable I feel really sad still about it. I think if she didn't ask or mention it I would feel better and if I could I would start again like a shot. Basically I think you need to feel really sure that you want to stop BF and ready for feeling sad for a while and no beat yourself up about it at all.