bf confidence boost required please (long -sorry!)

[jaggythistle]

Hi,

I have seen lots of good advice from experts on here, so could use a little reassurance. I guess this is not simply about his feeding but hopefully is ok to post here.

My son is almost 8 weeks old and is exclusively breast fed. We have had a few problems - my milk seemed to take ages to come in, his tongue tie didn't get sorted for over a week(resulting in a cracked nipple that took me a few weeks to heal).

Overall everything is going ok for him, he is healthy and putting on plenty of weight. I am enjoying the experience of being able to fed him.

The problem is me being a bit of a tired disorganised wreck! I am not sure if there is some way I can make things easier for us.

I was really tired and not eating a great deal for the first few weeks after an unexpected c section and 2 days of no sleep before he was born.

I am by no means expecting him to sleep through, I am feeding on demand and quite happy to go with what he needs. I managed to get through his first feeding frenzy growth spurt at about 3 weeks, but since he got to about 6 weeks, his feeding and sleeping has been really all over the place.

He started to feed a bit more then, but last week went to feeding every hour again for a few days. He is now feeding a lot in the morning through to early afternoon. He is a very grunty baby, always straining and going red in the face and looking uncomfortable. Since he has been feeding more he seems to be grunting more to match and waking more. Some nights he is only up twice, but for the last 6 out of 8 nights he has woken up so many times I felt like we got no sleep. Sometimes he can be settled back to sleep, other times he has had either a big or small feed and sometimes a change before falling asleep.

He feeds to sleep most of the time which I am not sure is a bad thing or not.

I suppose what I am saying is can I do anything better to help him settle and be more comfortable? I offer him the breast whenever he shows signs of being hungry or if he cries and nothing else seems wrong. We have tried Infacol, raising his bed end (he likes sleeping in the boucy chair, so thought he might be more comfy upright) and various other things.

I am not sure if I can be feeding him too much and making him more uncomfortable? He seems to feed less often and be more settled if we are out and about or have visitors round, compared to when we are in on our own - could I be misinterpreting his signals? He doesn't actually cry that much - only if I am too slow to get him latched on it seems.

Hope all this rambling made some sense,

thanks in advance.

I forgot to elaborate on the disorganised bit - i am ending up missing lunch sometimes and have only been out on my own with him about twice.

I just feel I am flailing about between feeding, changing and carrying him about trying ti help him settle. Obviously time for the internet though....

It sounds like you are doing a great job in not the best circumstances (c-section/tounge tie/tired/etc). If he wants to feed he will but if he is full he may still want to suckle and so will change the way he sucks to a pattern known as non-nutrative suckling which doesn't extract milk so you can't really over feed a bfed baby.
Feeding to sleep is not a problem as bmilk has a substance in it that makes baby sleepy (the name escapes me for the minute) so it would be difficult to avoid baby falling asleep at the breast. Also the very act of suckling makes babies sleepy (hence why we have dummies).

I have found that if every time baby so much as squeaks I offer her a bfeed. If she refuses and still seems unsettled I run through the other things that could be wrong -
Wind
Hot/cold
Nappy
Trapped wind - Check tummy to see if it is hard (if it is it I 'cycle' her legs which helps)
Sleepy - Rock her/put in cot and stroke forehead/sing a lullaby quietly while cuddling
She needs stimulation - Show her a toy/hold her up and mirror her facial expressions/sing lively songs

If none of that works I offer her a feed again and if that doesn't work I'd take her out in the pram (it gets you a break from being stuck indoors and can settle a fussy baby when nothing else works).

At the risk of sounding patronising you ARE doing a great job and try not to let all these things build up inside and swamp you. If there is a breastfeeding group near you try to go as it might put your mind at rest if you can talk things over with someone in RL. Or you could phone one of the bfing helplines (LLLI & NCT)

Thank you

You didn't sound patronising at all. I think some days I have just let it swamp me a bit. There is a breastfeeding group nearby which I have been planning to go to to get out for a bit, I shall have to make the effort.

Thank you for taking the time to read my sleep deprived blethers!

Its early days yet and don't beat yourself up about being disorganised, its exhausting looking after a new baby, and don't underestimate how long it takes to really heal after a c-section. Mine took a good few months.
You can't overfeed a bf baby, so don't worry about that. Feeding to sleep isn't a problem at this age either and can be a helpful way to soothe your baby too.
From what you say yourself, that baby feeds less when you're doing something, I'd suggest some of the signals you're responding to by offering feeding might instead be him needing a bit of entertaining - I'd echo the suggestion of going out for a walk, its good for you too to get some fresh air.
Some babies just need a bit of crying time too and it doesn't always mean they actually need anything.