Strong emotions about weaning ages ago

[acebaby]

I have just been rewatching the documentary 'Extraordinary Breastfeeding', and the bits where the little twins were being breastfed for the last time has made me really emotional. I remember the last time I fed DS1 (he was 2.9 and it was a few days after DS2 was born). I looked down and thought 'oh my goodness I'm feeding a crocodile'. I was really sore from trying to establish feeding with DS2 and dreaded feeding DS1. DS1 didn't like the taste of the Lanisoh I was using and never fed again. He asked a few times, whether I was still using the cream and when he found out I was, he didn't feed. After a few days he stopped asking.

I feel terribly guilty and sad that I had such a mean thought the last time I fed DS1 (although I didn't know it would be the last time). Everyone in my family and friends assumes that I was grateful that DS1 stopped feeding and thinks that I fed him for too long anyhow.

This was a year and a half ago, but watching that program brought it all back.

Does anyone else here still experience strong emotions about weaning years on? Or have I just got a bad case of PMT?

Sorry that was long - thanks for reading this far

I feel terrible about my weaning choices, particularly DD2. Both DDs went cold turkey, DD1 at 15m because she started sleeping through, DD2 though was weaned at about a year because of a very stressful 2 weeks spent travelling alone with the girls during which she didn't sleep more than a couple of hours and my parenting was constantly criticised. I am not sure why I put any of us through it but when I returned home, DD2 was a bottle fed toddler, much to DHs disappointment BTW.

I don't think either of us should feel bad, and certainly not you! It is hard not to though and I wish I was still feeding DD2 now as she turns 2

Thanks for replying BeehiveBaby. Poor you - it sounds like you had a really rough time . I once travelled alone with DS1 for 5 hours and it nearly finished me off! Haven't contemplated it since ...

It's amazing how emotional decisions about weaning are. I still miss feeding DS1 (and he is a great big 4yo schoolboy). Even so, I sometimes wish DS2 (18mo) would stop - partly because he bites! However, I know when he does I'll be desperately sad.

yeah i do.
i stopeed bf my first at 4.5 months because it was agonising and had been from the start, he had an undiagnosed tongue tie, it could have been sorted SO easily, but no-one checked for it

i also feel really gutted about ds2. i got pregnant just before he turned one, and he weaned during my pregnancy as my milk supply dropped to almost nothing and i found it very painful to feed him. I wish now that i had battled through the pain and kept him going.
he was such a boob-monster that i am certain he wouldn't have weaned at 16m had it not been for my pregnancy, so i feel selfish and horrible for making that happen.
i wanted to allow him to self wean :-(

i now feel guilty bf ds3 because ds2 ought to be nursing too