maybe breastfeeding isnt for me anymore?

[mama2leah]

i bf dd1 until she self weaned when i went into hospital to give birth, she was over 12months old... now dd2 is a different story, she feeds all the time every 2 hours max day and night..she is 12 weeks old, im exhausted with looking after a toddler, housework, and a baby... i felt so sad when dd1 self weaned i wanted to tandem feed..but now i feel i cant even bf dd2.

please help me before i reach for formula..i really don't want to do this. but i feel alone and need some mnetters to support me.

dh is wonderful, and supportive..but i dont think he understands how knackered i am.

How are you doing mamatoleah? Hope you are all feeling better at least.

DS2 is 5 months & gone back to feeding 2 hourly too so I now how your feeling! Little monster got no interest in solids either so have no choice but to feed feed feed!

My only tips are
DUMMY
SLING
and carton of Aptimil for when I just cant face another feed just then!

We have had the same problems (including the swine flu in DD1 and chicken pox in DD1 during the first 2 months of DD2's life). Sheer hell. You are doing really well and it will get better. My DD2 is now 6 months old and much more settled. At about 12 wks I had to resort to using one top up bottle feed at about 8pm for a month (given by DH while I had a sleep between 8 and 12). It kept me sane and more able to cope with all of the night feeds - all the other feeds were at the breast. She doesn't need it now and everything seems to have evened out now that we are getting some sleep. With 2 you do what you need to do but you can do mixed feeding or if you are really opposed to this, express and get DH to give one bottle for you while you sleep. Hope things improve for you.

My DS is also 12 weeks, and I really wouldn't have made it through this time and still exclusively breastfed if I hadn't used the dummy. I know you're not keen on it, but really, wouldn't the dummy be worth it if it can keep you breastfeeding for longer?

My DS just likes to have something to suck on. Thankfully someone who had a baby just before me warned me that babies will just use you as a human dummy sometimes. Great if you have the time and tough nipples for that, not so great if you need to have a life outside of BFing!

If what he really wants is feeding, he just spits the dummy out, and we don't give it to him all the time and hope to phase it out as soon as he figures out how to reliably get his fingers in his mouth (nearly there, but not quite). For this early time when he just sucks for comfort, it's been a lifesaver.

You are doing really well, it is utterly knackering to have a young baby & toddler to look after! Things will get better though & in the scheme of things it is for a very short time that things will be things demanding.

I see a few people have advocated co sleeping & feeding lying down. I have found these a life saver with DS as he is a big feeder at night. Once you get feeding lying down cracked it really helps you to rest & regain some strength. Get at least one really early night a week, I mean really early like 8 or 9pm!

Also try & get out to a toddler group/breastfeeding support group, they will entertain your toddler, baby & you too! Spending time cooped up can make it feel like ground hog day! I find my week goes by quicker if I go out & do something everyday, it gives it some structure & then I can hang on until the weekend when dp can help a bit more.

Remember that it won't be too longer before your baby will begin to sit up & be much more easily entertained by toys & less tied to you. Feedings will space out more & you will get back to enjoying feeding & playing with DD1.

I feel for you, some of us do know how knackered you are! DH/DP's will never fully understand what it is to be on demand 24 hours a day!