Just stopped bf, sad and sore and a few questions

[star6]

DS turned 1 last weekend. We were down to just the night feed as of about a week before his birthday. We just dropped the night feed a few nights ago I did "Don't offer, don't refuse". The first night I tried it, he didn't ask for it, just wanted cuddles... but I couldn't take it, so I offered and he accepted, but it wasn't a full feed, just comfort. So I finally did it. He's now on just oatmilk from a sippy cup.
A few questions:

• He doesn't take nearly as much milk as he did while bf, but more food... that's ok, right? How much milk should he have daily now? or does it not matter?

I won't give him cow's milk - don't like the idea of that much cow's milk protein in him daily. He does have cheese and sugar free fromage frais. He loves the Oatmilk with calcium.

• I'm quite uncomfortable and while not completely engorged, my left breast has a hard spot, like a lump. I've had mastitis 4 times before, so I know what this feels like - this isn't it, I don't think. Will the lump go away or should I massage or hand express it out?

I'm so sad that bf is over. I know it sounds ridiculous. I do have PND, but take sertraline so feeling much more "normal" but I think the change in hormones is causing more sadness than necessary. I was tempted to just bf him last night, just for another "one last time" but knew this would only interfere.

I had a really really hard time to start out. about 14 weeks of really sore, cracked nipples, working with latch and a bfc - it was a long struggle but once established, was wonderful. I thought I'd never get him to stop as he always wanted it so much, but now he just doesn't mind one way or the other I know, toughen up and move on - there's much more to enjoy. Sorry for the long rambling post. Just can't believe it's over and not sure about what to do with his milk feeds and my sore breasts now.

star6, I don't have any advice on your lumpy boob, but wanted to sympathise with your sadness. DD3 (15 months) was down to just her morning feed (if she wanted it) till last week, then I had to take cocodamol for toothache and had to stop. She's my last baby, and I feel really that I won't do it again. Take comfort that you have fed him for 12 months and given him the best nutritional start in life you could

Maybe have a hot shower and try to massage/hand express out the lump maybe, then leave them well alone!

Congratulations for getting to 1 year, that's fantastic!

Thanks Poledra. Sorry to hear about you going through the same. Good for you for 15 months. DS is my first (and I'm thinking only...). Feels like the end of a very special era.

Thank you Omicron You know, skeptics of bf told me that there's "no prize or congrats or anything for bf for a year" when I was struggling for first few months and wanting to stop but persisting b/c I knew it would get better. They were so wrong! It was so rewarding and I feel so good about having done it!! Anyone who is bf right now and maybe going through a rough patch to start out, just give it time and it WILL get better and it's the best thing ever.

Poledra,
My GP (a pain management specialist) is happy for me to take cocodamol and b/f, she was even when he was newborn (I've needed painkillers for SPD almost constantly since his birth, diclofenac, cocodamol and up to 8 paras a day).

Posting just in case you or anyone else finds the info useful: of course it's brilliant for your daughter that she's had 15 months of b/f.

Thanks for that Mavis - I'm not sure I would have been safe to feed her (waaaay too tripped out) but it's good to get that posted for anyone else who might read this.

DD was starting to self-wean anyway, so I don't think we had long left.

Congratulations on feeding for a year

I suffered from PND but was better by the time I weaned (at about 15 months last time). When I stopped I experienced a deep depression for about 2 weeks. I was ready to stop feeding and didnt really regret stopping (bit wistful / fond memories type sadness but certainly not depressed because of that). I had very hormonal PND though - nothing was wrong (either time) but I couldnt stop crying type PND.

It passed after about 2 weeks and I was absolutely fine. Not looking forward to weaning again this time though

Well done - you have given him a fab start in life

Thank you. I know this sounds silly, but I feel really good hearing that other people think it's something to be proud of My Dad's wife kept telling me it was "a bit much" to bf past 6 months and that he was getting "too big" for it and someone else - who shall not be named asked "so, was it worth all the pain and exhaustion from the beginning?" when I said "yes, definitely" said person said "you're kidding yourself".
I'm happy, he's happy and healthy and I would have continued on even longer if I felt he really wanted it.

Ok, I've hand expressed a bit in the shower... now there's a lump in the other breast, too and the one hasn't gone away either. It hurts when I hold DS or lay on my front or hug someone. And I'm really bloated. Not sure if that's related...
As I said, I've had mastitis, and I'm not feeling any flu symptoms so don't think there's an infection - but lump painful and not going away. Will it just dry up or do I need to see a dr?