Things you wish you'd known before starting to bf

[trellism]

No doubt this has been done before, but I am keen to get off to a good start with sprog #1.

I was wondering whether some of the mavens here had any tips - in particular I wanted to know what are the major things to look out for/do/avoid that scupper bfing for so many women.

TIA.

I wish someone had told me to break the seal between her mouth and my boob with my finger if I needed to unlatch. I just puuuuuuuuuullllllllled her off and got a very sore nip.

Also important: Zero tolerance on an imperfect latch. If it hurts, even just a little bit, even if it's bearable, unlatch and start again. Once you get a sore nip it can be a bugger to heal because you have to keep feeding and it's not easy to give it a proper rest. With ds I didn;t care if I had to unlatch him 20 times a feed, if it hurt I took him right off and we had another go.

I wish I had known about feeding cues and laid back nursing.

I also wish somebody had emphasised that your nipple should be the same shape and colour when it comes out as it was when it went it!

And I wish I had known about tongue tie.

I wish I'd researched the various holds and also purchased a decent breastfeeding cushion prior to birth. spent the first month uncomfortably shifting around, trying to get baby into a comfortable position. A widgey cushion and mastering cradle hold made alot of difference.

That is something you both have to learn to do and does not come naturaly, at least not straight away. I felt really down in hosp after having ds1 and when I was up at night feeding, all I wanted was someone to say; it is normal for them to want to feed alot at night, that I was doing really well and that it was my hormones making me feel so blue. Not a nurse saying shall I take him and give him formula.

That every day you do it is worth a great big pat on the back (or a great big choc bar!) and not to put pressure on yourself.

That it does get easier after first few months. Then it is a doddle.

Good luck xxx

Oh and I wish I had had the numbers for bf support councellors in my area and on the other end of the phone ready for if you have a problem. I found my bf concilor great and she saved me from giving up 2wks into feeding him. All she did was give me some confidence, tell me to use a pillow and change my latch very slightly and it made the world of diff. Hope you have a good one in your area. xxx

That it can be VERY hard work and painful, but it usually gets easier. (not the case for everyone though. SOme feed easily from day 1)

That they are going to be permanently attached for the first few weeks.

What would really have helped me would have been reading 'The Politics of Breastfeeding'. I tend to be more motivated by socio-politico-economic stuff than 'best for baby' gooey-ness tbh.

That most health professionals know feck all about it.

That it is what your breasts are for - I never really got that until recenly and bfing is long behind me atm! Sexual thing is very recent and not cross-cultural.

seconded - don't believe the baby will always demand. mine just slept for two days.

also, don't wait for them to ask - if they're awake - offer a feed!

and don't be afraid to ask for help - it's the first time you've done it, be willing to learn from others.

I had a hard time bf with #1 but not with #2.

The only thing I did differently was this.

In the VERY early days with dd1 if she cried (particularly before I thought she needed feeding again) I went through a massive list of things first - nappy, too hot, too cold, wind, bored etc before I offered the breast.

From the outset with dd2 whenever she cried the first thing I did was offer the breast. If she refused, then I went through the list.

It meant dd2 fed a whole lot more in the first 48 hours than dd1 and bfing settled down much quicker, was pretty much pain free and best of all no sore/cracked nipples.

I also wish I'd known about Mumsnet when I had dd1 (did it exist in 2002?) so you're way ahead already!

All the best

That nursing tea, long hugs and baths with baby and someone else to do the housework, will magically increase your flow.

That it can be screamingly painful in the beginning, but no-one warns you of this.

That while bf is a lovely wonderful healthy thing to do, your child will not be automatically poisoned by a bottle. Though you will get it out of all proportion and feel like a crashing crashing failure if you resort to formula. And that it is possible to re-establish bf if you break for a few days (I am living proof)... but that is difficult, so best not to if you can help it.

That if you think you have mastitis hot-foot it to the GP pronto, don't hang around.

oh and that BF when you and baby are lying down side by side is just marvellous when you are knackered cos you can both doze off.... co- sleeping guidelines followed of course

That it can bloody hurt to start with, and that its a learned skill for some people (I wrote a list of step by step instructions to follow after my visit to the breastfeeding clinic and it still took 6 weeks to become pain free). Linked to this, that you may need to use your thumb to shove more of your boob into your baby's mouth to stop him sucking on the end your nipple and it can be a learned skill for them too.

That your baby can be hungry more than you think possible at the start.

That its incredibly relaxing to read a book or watch crappy telly while feeding your baby with your feet up.

That you don't have to stop feeding your baby at 6 months and its not 'weird' to carry on for longer.

That you may not have much say in when you give up anyway, as your baby may not ever want to drink from a bottle.

Talk to people you trust to be honest with you. I found it hard at first because it was painful and all the books said if it hurts you're doing it wrong. My sister told me, yes it does hurt but only for a few weeks, then it is fine. And she was right. Also at first it seems to take over your whole life but it gets quicker - after a few months my dd was down to 20 minutes then 10 and even 5. After a while you can slap them on and carry on with whatever you were already doing - unless of course you want an excuse to watch crap televsion. Do whatever it takes to make it work for you - cushions, different positions, lansinoh because it really is the best feeling in the world.

If breastfeeding is painful, get your baby checked for tongue tie (10% of babies are born with it, I was told). If they are tongue tied, get them rushed in for the 30 second, painless procedure to have it snipped.

I wish I'd known it would take a good 6 - 8 weeks to learn to breastfeed. I really think it's a skill that needs to be learnt.

Learn how to breastfeed lying down from day one. A big relief for painful fanjo! Allowed me to doze at same time.

Expect to be tied to the sofa/bed/armchair for the first 6 - 8 weeks breastfeeding. Have willing family/friends keep you supplied with calories, drinks, laptop/TV remote while you feed your baby. Eat as much as you can.

In the nursery I made myself a breastfeeding corner. It contained within easy reach:
1 comfy chair, with pillow for my bum (painful post-birth stitches), pillow for my back, pillow to rest LO on.
Footstool - vital for having LO at perfect boob height.
Tuck box of cereal bars, chocolate, fruit etc.
Flask of hot drink
Large bottle water.
Mobile phone
Laptop (learn to surf/type while breastfeeding asap)
Magazines/newspapers.

Spend as many days in bed establishing breastfeeding as you can.

Not be scared of co-sleeping.

Buy Lansinoh.

Avoid antibiotics: thrush in your boobs is agony.
If you get it, don't be fobbed off with canisten creams = demand the strong tablets straight off (I've forgotten the name, sorry)

Join a breastfeeding group. Sure Start did a great one for me.

Don't scrimp on quality of breastpads. (I got a good deal on Lansinoh on the NCT website)

Eat lots of porridge.

Read the Politics of Breastfeeding before starting.

Not to give a toss about feeding in front of anyone else, be it my dad, male friends or an entire restaurant. No one is looking anyway, and if I didn't feed in public, I'd never have left the house for six months.

Breastfeeding tops are a bit rubbish - vest top under normal top is the way to go.

Knew that breastfeeding would perhaps be the most wonderful, enriching, relaxing thing I'll ever do, especially after a really bad start. I've never admitted that before. (DD now 7 months, I'm feeding her in bed as I type). HTH

I'd say breasts are both sexual and functional, nickytwotimes.

I think we've lost sight of the fact that they have two functions.

Very interesting reading, thanks all!

Can one bf and play Xbox at the same time?

that babies have growth spurts....

Growth spurts - just when you think things are easing up, bang, they want feeding seemingly every 2 mins. But it's OK , it's a growth spurt, it only lasts a couple of days and then they settle down again...

That for some people even if latch is good and no nip probs etc, the let-down still hurts like a bugger for a few weeks.

Lansinoh is fab.

Experiment with different cushions/pillows etc until you find what's comfy -the special BF pillows they sell were all wrong for me.

Get decent breast pads (I use the lansinoh ones but have tommee tippee at the mo they seem fine) and be prepared to leak milk left right and centre - it#s bra in bed time...

I agree with PPs.
To know to surrender to a couple of weeks of not leaving the sofa, having remote control in hand, having greasy hair, 4 packets of chocolate digestives on the table, wearing fluffy slippers, flannel pyjamas and fleecy dressing gown and not being able to do a single other thing.

Feather pillows I found were the best - lay one across your lap - they are BRILLIANT

That someone who can see what you are doing can help. My Dh told me that I had the baby/my arms in a different position on each side, which explained why feeding on one side was easier than the other. If no partner to help looking in a mirror to see what you are doing can do the trick.

Attend a breastfeeding class/see a breastfeeding councillor BEFORE the birth and ask for assistance asap if you are having problems. Buy a supportive (bean-bag type) feeding pillow. Be aware that engorged breasts may make it hard for the baby to latch on properly - with DD2 I had to express almost from the start (against the usual advice to wait six weeks or so) in order to soften the breast enough to get her on. She also had to be cup-fed expressed milk for the first couple of days as she was so sleepy. Didn't have any problems after that though - still have unopened tube of Lansinoh to prove it!

ah yes - the worst thing about bf for me was having to constantly slap away my husbands wandering hands from my enormonorks.

he's doing it now.

Men!** he claims this is irony.

Remembered another....just because nothing comes out when you try to express doesn't mean your boobs have run out of milk. Some can, some can't (express, that is)

I didn't realise how hard the learning part would be... it really is something that both of you have to practice over and over to get right.

I would also really recommend speaking to friends who have breastfed. Before, I thought they had all found it a doddle because they seemed confident and painfree when I saw them after the birth. It was only when I asked them how they hade done it because I was struggling so much that they admitted that it was really hard for them and they had experienced pain as well. Even if they can't help with your specific issue, it is great to know that it's not just you - lots of people struggle! Coming on here was also an absolute godsend!

The only other thing would be to perservere if you can. I got quite down at times and would just say to myself, I will do the next one and see how I feel... I will make it to 6 weeks and see how I feel etc. DD is now 15 weeks and we're going strong - although not always easy, every feed is worth it xx