Will i ever be able to stop bf

[indianastorm]

Hi everyone

Getting a little stressed with getting my head around stopping bf. My son is 2 weeks off his 1st birthday and is still very much wanting to bf but i now feel i want to stop. I always intended to stick with it for the first 6 months as recommended but have continued to present day.

I started back at work 3 months ago after my son was settled at nursery (which wasn't very long as he loves it there) so have been feeding him before he starts in the afternoon (he also would have had breakfast, a snack, plenty of water and lunch) and his dad collects him and gives him dinner etc. However as soon as my son sees or hears me come in from work, he comes to me and his head goes straight to his feeding position. So before i can even take my shoes off i feel i need to feed him as its been 8 hrs since he last bf and continues throughout the night too.

Have tried to give him expressed milk/powder milks, growing up milks - no joy.
Would be so gratefull for any/all advice

not sure what kind of advice you are looking for? are you looking to stop or wondering about continuing? when he wants to feed when he sees you again it's more about emotional connection now than being desperately hungry so you don't need to feel like you're starving him if you start a new rule of no milk til mum's had a cup of tea or something similar. would that bit of space be enough for you to be happy to keep bf or are you looking to stop completely?

Dd is a year older than your ds but we've slowly introduced some rules around bf, I have to avoid sitting down cos that's a trigger for a quick feed from dd who is always looking for an opportunity! she knows that she won't get fed outside the house anymore now. would you be happier if you fed him less often but at regular times for example?

I'm not having brilliant success weaning dd off the boob so don't want to comment too much on how to stop bf. with the boys, I cut down a feed at a time but they didn't protest so it was easy. dd would never just put up with that

(it's actually recommended to bf for at least the first year btw - just to pick up a comment from your op - not having a go)

I'm trying to cut it out with a 2 yo... Also working on one feed at a time. Have managed to limit it to 'sleepy feeds' ie first thing in morning or before sleep. So only 2 a day most days. But would be happier with 1 only. He would feed all day if he could.

Distraction works quite well: oh look there's your cup of milk/toy or whatever. DH does more bedtimes too and though he sometimes cries for me, it is getting better. I am saying no to some of the 'just in from work' requests also, which he seems OK with as long as not upset.

Good luck!

My 14mo son is the same- I pick him up from nursery and he practically dive bombs my boobs
Have you considered night weaning? I'm happy to keep feeding my son in the day for now but we're going to stop the night feeds next week (gulp) as I can't cope with the lack of sleep any more. Am about to start a thread as I need a rocket up my arse to actually do it.
If you do want to stop altogether and your DS doesn't, he might take some convincing. Lots of distraction and extra cuddles will prob help. I also heard that offering hot chocolate instead works a treat with older toddlers! A bit wrong but genius too!

Oh I did NIGHT weaning ages ago... I really couldn't cope any more at about 14-5 months with the sleeplessness... I found involving DH was the trick. That and earplugs so I couldn't hear the screaming and cave in.

Brilliant idea about hot chocolate! Might try it... WE do sometimes do warm milk when DH puts him to bed.

hairymelons we're considering night weaning too. DD is 2.3 and would feed all day and night if allowed. I just need that rocket.

Do you definitely want to stop altogether OP?

And yes, just to pick up on a point in your OP, bfing is recommended for at least two years, 6 months exclusively. Just clarifying for anybody with a passing interest.

actually it's recommended to exlusively breastfeed for the first 6 months and then continue for 2 years or more.

but anyway! much as it offers benefits to you both (and these benefits are huge, even as the child gets much older) and can be enjoyable for you both it only works is both parties want it to continue

have you tried just not offering the feed before nursery?
i think i would try and cut down one feed at a time and see how you go. often distraction works- offering a favourite food or drink, or doing a favoured activity. maybe leave that post nursery/work one til last to drop because he clearly gains a lot of comfort from it

Can I be thoroughly nosy and ask why you want to stop BF? And isn't so I can judge, just interested.
I remember talking about stopping a lot around the 12mo mark, mainly because you read and hear a lot about weaning from the breast at 12mo and I felt like I probably should, before it got into the realms of the 'unacceptable'.
All of my friends who BF babies much younger than mine have stopped now so I feel like the wierdy lone extended BFer...but that's just me,not saying you're the same!
Anyway, your business so ignore if you don't feel like answering

I also thought I would/should stop by 12 months, but DD is now 16 months and has had just two feeds a day (first and last thing) since about 10 months. I am now in the process of starting to cut out the morning feed, and will eventually drop the evenng feed I suppose in the next few weeks.

Even now, I am really torn about stopping, as it's no real hardship doing just two feeds a day. I think it's been harder as DD is my second (and probably last) baby.

If you do feel you want to carry on a bit longer, perhaps try limiting the feeds to a couple of set times of day, although it sounds as though you work evenings, so it might be a bit harder for you to do.

Sorry, not much in the way of advice but just to say it is difficult when you get to the 12 month mark as I think there can be quite a bit of pressure to give up by then.

indiana i stopped bf at night from 12-6am at about 12m (3-6am at 9m) and carried on with daytime feeds no problems.

you can't work and do constant night feeds, but no need to stop altogether unless you want to.

oops sorry i didn't mention how. dh put him to bed and settled him in the night if needed. or shoved him over to me if not working but usually that didn't happen.

(sadly and speaking from experience) it is perfectly possible to work and also do constant night feeds - just perhaps not desirable

Hi,

Your thread title really struck a chord with me.

I wanted to stop bf before my dd did.(long before actually but pretty much went with it as she was totally averse to bottles when I tried.)

She eventually stopped completely at 19 months but here is what I did.(not, I hasten to add through any big plan, this was just how it worked out)

1.Fed whenever she wanted until the age of 10 months when I went back to work and she went to nursery, but oh yes, I do remember sitting in the nursery car park feeding her as she was wrestling with me as soon as she saw me.

1. At about 16/17 months, if I recall, I tried to stop the all night feeding. Every time she got up, I just held her rocked her, wrapped her up and soothed her and she was ok with this eventually. Prior to this, I had just let her come in with me and feed through the night when she wanted because I was too tired and too guilty at being back at work to make a fuss about it.

3.At around the same time, I tried to drop all daytime feeding. To be fair, she didn't usually feed until late afternoon/early evening as I was working but I started trying to hold her off til bathtime.

1. Next to go was the morning feed. She was drinking from a cup by this point so no lolling about in bed- we just got up quickly and had milk and cereal.

1. Last to go was the night feed. I tried to put her down without it one night and she did. She was a bit more resistant the next night but after that there was no going back.

I have to say, I felt huge relief that we had finally managed it and that it wasn't too distressing for her. I , like you, thought it was an insurmountable task so what I really wanted to say was, yes, it will happen- maybe not entirely on your terms or entirely on his but it will.

Good luck

Hi All
Thank you to everyone above for help and apoligies for(very)late reply.
I tried all of the above but nothing seemed to work and up until a week and a half ago, i thought nothing ever would. That was until i realised that it was myself that was the problem. I was too scared, i.e would my boy still love me, could i comfort him, will he be okay etc and noticed that i wasn't happy in myself so i decided that i would stop on my week off at the end of this month. I decided 2 days later to just stop that morning and see how it goes. I can honestly say that it was easier than i thought it was going to be. My son wasnt happy about it and had a hour long tantrum which resulted in him falling asleep and when he woke i offered him some toddler milk which he drank after a fashion and have continued to offer the milk morning, before bed and once throughout the night should he wake.
It has now been a full week since and what a difference. My son now sleeps almost throughout the entire night (something i waited almost 17 months for) and he has a regular routine and now when i get in from work i get the most amazing cuddles from him.
The only issue i have found dificult is that my boobs are very sore, hard and still leaking! I went to a chemists to ask if they had something to dry up the milk, and they said to go through the doctor. So i asked the doctor, who said that i can have pain relief and should wear a good support bra but medication to dry up the milk is only given to those that have miscarried. Am going to try and wait out another week but will go back to doctor if no change. However if anyone has any advice on this please share as pain relief isnt doing much to help.
Many Thanks