parenting in other cultures

[stargirl30]

Sorry - this one is not strictly about bf-ing but didn't really know where else to post and I thought someone who reads this thread might have some ideas.

I'd like to find out more about parenting in other cultures. Am thinking particularly about feeding and sleeping really.

DD (10.5 months) has always been a pretty crap sleeper but co-sleeping and feeding to sleep seem to be the best options for her at the moment. I'm quite happy doing this but obviously lots of other people in western society would not be. I'm just interested to see what the "norm" is in other cultures. Anyone know of a good website or book that I could look at?

Thanks
stargirl

Wellies - yes, they have that in Morocco too. Not usually more than one woman.
In Morocco the norm is BF but formula is also seen as something that rich women can afford, however everyone gets involved in BF with advice, good and bad! It is seen as a very positive thing to do for your baby.

They have a period where they don't leave the house for about a week - and don't wash either. On the 7th day mum and baby will go to the hammam (public baths) and they will have a party there, with singing and blessings. On the 8th day they kill a sheep and give the baby its name. There are a lot of visitors in the first weeks but pressure is on to provide food and refreshments and wear new pyjamas and look smart. It is quite stressful and not comfortable for the mum, although it does make her feel special.

Parenting is a collective effort if there are more than one woman living in the house. My SIL lives with my MIL and her 3 sisters and granny, she thinks nothing of giving him to any of them without asking so she can have a nap or go out or whatever. They all give advice and often argue about what she should be doing, and override her. It is a bit different though as she is the baby of the family and divorced and I don't think they quite believe she's capable!

Thanks for all your replies, it makes very interesting reading!

Until I got pregnant I always thought I'd be the GF type but have ended up going much more the AP route. I now sometimes feel like I'm the only one who thinks CC etc is just weird...
I do think a lot of it depends on the personality of your baby though. I guess some babies are content to go along with whatever the parents think is best. DD is not one of those babies lol!!!

Wellies and Kat, you are describing 'milk siblings' in a lot of Muslim countries this concept exist (hence Bosnia and Morocco). Because they are siblings through the mothers' milk it means that they cannot marry. It also will affect their inheritance so who is allowed to breastfeed whose child is a delicate thing. In the UAE and other Gulf countries they do not yet have milk banks and a (small) part of the reason is this milk siblings issue within the culture and Islam.

Since stem cells have been found in the mother milk, there is soemthing to the milk siblings thing. They will both have the mother's stem cells living some where in both their bodies.

The 40 day confinement is probably the only time in those women's lives when they feel in any way special, or get a rest from the constant backbreaking work that is their lot in rural China or parts of Africa. On the other hand, it makes having a baby that much more of a desirable goal for a young girl...
I'm an expat who had babies in the US and always felt a lot of pressure in my exH's family to go the draconian discipline way about sleep time that was enforced in my exh's family. I recall with horror the popularity of books by 'experts' advocating letting babies cry it out at night. Ex mil ordered me to ignore my first newborn's cries and to sit down and eat my dinner when she visited to 'help' after DC was born. I disobeyed and so earned least likeable daughter in law status. For ex mil, not ever getting up in the night to attend to any of her babies was something she bragged about. She thought bfing was a stupid animal-like, peasant way of feeding babies which resulted in never getting anything done around the house and having the babies develop an unhealthy attachment to you. I never told her I co-slept...

Lying in used to be common in this country too. It has gone out of favour for lots of reasons. One I think is that it increased the chance of infection (women not bathing after the birth) and complications like DVT and pneumonia (lack of mobilisation). I suspect its demise was more due to social change though.

Up until fairly recently all new mothers were entitled to a Home Help for some time after the birth. It wasnt something that was widley known and I think it was quietly removed from the books.