How would you approach this one - my dd2 is a breastfeeding promotion freak!!

[weegiemum]

I breastfed all my kids and have talked to them all about it a lot - I want it to be normal for them, for the girls to know they can do it if they choose, for my son to be behind it when the time comes. I have dds of 9 and 5 and a ds of 7.

Last weekend we spent time with one SIL who is breastfeeding her son of 4 months. They all had a good look - she was happy to let them watch him latch on, suckle etc, and they all found it very interesting and have chatted about it a lot!

Today we saw other SIL. Her son is 3 months and bottle fed. Dd2 came in, watched for a bit and said 'but Mummy why isn't baby T getting the good Mummy milk?'. I just said 'some mummies choose to give their babies milk out of a bottle' but she was on it right away 'but mummy milk is better for babies isn't it?'

At that point I took her out of the room and told her Auntie X wanted to give baby T milk form a bottle and it was her decision - so she could ask me whatever she liked once we had gone, but not while baby T was around.

I have explained that yes, Mummy milk is better, but some mummies don't want to (this was sils situation - she didn't want to breastfeed).

Can I do anything else? I think SIL might have been a little offended by dd2's comments, but I want my children to understand the positives of breastfeeding.

Your daughter is telling the truth and has n't actually done anything wrong. Yes she should be more tactful, but if your SIL has made an informed decision to FF she should be aware already of the fact that "mummy milk" is better than formula.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your SiL will surely be aware that some people will disapprove of her decision to bottle feed. Sounds like you handled it fine.

DD said to one of my friends when she saw her bottle feeding 'are your boobies broken?' 'my mummy has lots of milk, she could feed him'

Luckily said friend thought this was very funny.

Why have you told her that some mummies don't want to and not that some mummies want to and can't or find it very difficult?

I appreciate she's young but you seem to have presented most of the facts to her but not all.

I think you may need to explain some women may not be able to breastfeed even though they may want to. You could explain this is why you should not comment openly on how a woman chooses to feed thier baby.

Well done you though, I hope that I can be that open and honest with my dd when she is older.

I will explain the "can't" issue - but I was explaining about Auntie X at that moment - we haven't talked about it since but I was planning to do so.

Kids tell it like it is. Not your fault

i had a 4year old questioning me about breastfeeding as she hadnt seen a baby being breastfed before. we had a long chat about it, and she was telling me that her baby sister has 'milk from a bottle' and do i give my dd4 a bottle. i said no, i feed her this way, but either way is fine.

its hard isnt it?

It's a tough one, I agree, on quite a lot of levels. If I was going to explain that some mothers don't I would also explain that some mothers can't, because I can't see the point of not discussing the whole issue.

It's a tough one though, I think it's quite hard to explain to a five year old that although something is 'the best' it really isn't the end of the world to have second best (or fourth best by WHO standards!)

Well, because while a small amount of women can't, most women who don't choose not to.

Ok, so the answer is to train the DD to recognise the ones who choose not to and just ignore the ones who can't.