Help me write a letter of complaint after told not to BF in doctors surgery

[boobymummy]

I'm not normally the type to complain about things but today I was in a situation where I ought to have complained and didn't. Its played on my mind and I now think I ought to complain so think I should send a letter.

I was taking my 5.5month DD to see (very lovely) doctor. When I got there, DD needed feeding, as I was talking to the receptionist anyway,I made a throw-away comment about needing to feed DD in the waiting room. She replied that it wasn't an appropriate place to feed because 'men don't like it'.

I was a bit stunned and asked if there was somewhere else I could feed DD. She said there was a treatment room not being used, I said fine and she showed me through to a disabled toilet with a gurney trolley bed in there. Still stunned I said nothing and because DD was unwell and needed feeding, I fed her.

Only having spoken to my friend (Hi CB if you're reading this!!) and my DH have I realised I ought to complain.

The thing is that I don't want to be that 'arsey' woman who complained IYSWIM, so how could I phrase a letter to get my point across without being on my high horse??

Any suggestions gratefully received Xx

That is awful . Our surgery has a room with a nice sofa and chairs where I sat to feed DS when he was younger.

That is a good letter though and hopefully it will lead to some re-training.

I'd be inclined to think that she's using the young men as a excuse when it's maybe her own prejudice. I've sat in cafes with groups of teenagers on the next table and BF'd DS - the boys don't bat an eyelid, it's the girls who go all strange and giggly and look like they want to run away.

jeeze that is bad, a doctors surgery of all places. you could have just sad down and fed in the recption area, i think that its illegal to stop a bf anyway.

Bloody hell, that's terrible. Good letter though. Don't worry about getting the receptionist into trouble - she clearly requires retraining, and you are only ensuring she gets it.

FWIW, my doctor's surgery will offer you somewhere private to feed if you want it. When I said I would just feed DD3 in the waiting room if that was OK, the practice nurse said something along the lines of 'If anyone doesn't like it, it's their problem.'

Dreadful experience - hope you don't take it to heart. I remember being stunned into complete silence when a policeman said to me 'You can't expect to do that sort of thing here!' and told me to move (whilst sitting in the privacy of my car at the side of the road). I submissively removed my DD, put her back into her car seat, screaming, and drove off, burning with rage and indignation. I never complained about him, and 4 years on I really dearly wish I had.

Good letter. In retrospect the throw away quip could have been - It's ok, I'm not planning to feed the men!

Your letter is much more polite than mine would have been.

I'd also suggest staff are sent on training or given a session on the benefits and politics of BF to enable them to feel confident should they need to support the choices of bfing women.

Good on ya for writing btw!

Good letter, hope you get a quick response.
Obviously it goes without saying that you must post on here ASAP their response for those of us who are right behind you being nosey and listening in!

hell, yes you get that letter written asap.

So sad they did this to you.

If you don't get any joy with it from the practice manager then I would recommend you contact PALS at the PCT.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

No way should you be shown to a toilet to feed a baby!!!

Would she appreciate being shown to a toilet to eat her dinner? Think not!

Send that letter and bf in the waiting room at EVERY opportunity, without asking for permission

and be that 'arsey' woman and proud of it!

I am just bitter that no-one ever challenged me when I bf my daughter, I was soooooooooo spoiling for a fight and never got it

Just reporting back to say that I had a letter of apology from the practice manager saying he is sorry if I was inconvenienced in any way and that their policy is to support breastfeeding mothers to feed at a time and place that is best for the mother and child.

It goes on to say that they try to offer an available room if one is requested by the mother but that bf in the waiting room is totally acceptable. It continues to say that this policy will be reiterated to the reception staff to avoid any future confusion.

I'm quite pleased with the response and the speed of the response too. I wish it said that they understand that a treatment room with a toilet in it isn't appropriate, but think my message has got across.

good result

Hooray!

Result. Well done for sending the letter.

Excellent!

Well done! I had a similar experience at my surgery when I took my DS2 fro his 8 wk check/ 1st imms etc, and had been advised by the HV to ask for a side room if I needed to feed. Mostly because there are dodgy people in the waiting room, ie for my comfort. But when I asked the receptionist advised me to use the baby change room, to which I replied 'isn't that the toilet?'.

I didn't write but complained to the HV, it was discussed in a practice meeting, but I think a feeding room is a good idea if people don't want drunks/leery blokes making them feel uncomfortable.

Good on you, and they responded well and quickly

My God! If you can't feed in a doctors' surgery then where the bloody hell can you?? That's outrageous! Am so glad your sending letter. Let us know how you get on. Was the receptionist older by any chance? I've always found the ones that tut tut over it are from a different generation. And as Libby Purves' book, "How not to be a perfect mother" says, 'you're never likely to offend anyone you would actually ^like^. I've held onto that thought through three bfing stages!

Sorry, missed your response post there. Good stuff. I hope that receptionist is suitably embarrassed!

Good result, and well done you for writing the letter - how many of us think of doing these things then never get around to them?