a mum was asked to leave local swimming pool because she was breastfeeding. Is this allowed?

[chocolateorange]

just back from pool with my 2 dd. A woman and her friend were there with their babies who were about 5mo.

One of the women discreetly (wouldn't care if she wasn't tbh), began to bf. She was half in pool half out, in the very shallow end.

After about 5mins she was told to stop at once or leave. 2 men had complained, reasons given were

their children would see her breast and be offended.
their children would ask questions. wtf!
it's "disgusting"
there are germs in the water and she shouldn't do it there.

this was all echoed by the manager (a man) who then asked her to leave.

I am absolutely furious.

Can they do this?

tia

"If we base all our quick judgments to feed on whether or not people think it's weird or odd, then we haven't got equality for bfeeding mums"

I think that in this case we are looking for more than equality. If I ff in a swimming pool I would be ordered straight out.

No-one is saying that people should be forced to bf in toilets, that's just totally wrong, but it isn't wrong to debate where the limits may be.

Oh this all makes me so happy to live in Scotland. ANYWHERE I am allowed to bring a baby under a year, I am allowed to feed that baby with milk. So, NO to feeding in a nightclub (not allowed baby at all) YES to feeding on a bus, in a library, in a restaurant, in a swimming pool...
There are simply no limits to debate Brettgirl, just the limits your mind is placing on women - unfairly, in my (supported in law) opinion.

On a bus, in a library, in a restaurant or on a sun lounger on the side of a pool seem entirely normal to me. Law is often not as clear cut as you seem to imagine (hence the need for european court of human rights etc) and as a result debate is needed. I am merely challenging the view (expressed on this thread) that bf should be allowed but not ff, while personally feeling that to do either is verging on the slightly daft. Not least because I think the baby would get cold. But that is just my opinion.

The lady in question was treated badly and for the wrong reason, no-one is disputing that. Sadly this is going down the line of women (who broadly have the same viewpoint) turning on each other, rather than working out where the boundaries in fact should be.

"it is an offence deliberately to prevent or stop a person in charge of a child from feeding milk to that child in a public place or on licensed premises." Seems clear enough to me! This isn't a matter of taste. I wouldn't fancy feeding in a pool myself, but that's not the point, is it? I just don't accept there are "boundaries" on this issue that we need to work out - whether you or I or anyone on MN would feed in the pool isn't the point, this woman wanted to and that should be all we need to know. Glad my BF days are over as there's someone round every corner to judge what you're doing!

"it is an offence deliberately to prevent or stop a person in charge of a child from feeding milk to that child in a public place or on licensed premises."

So actually you couldn't be prevented from formula feeding a pool either.

I wouldn't relish the thought of feeding in a pool either, but I could see how I might: regardless if DS is hungry or not, when cuddled up against bare skin, he becomes desperate for another feed. With an older DD to look after I might not drag all 3 of us out to the side of the pool to feed DS. (Arguably less discreet than staying put, and much less hassle than the trip downstairs to the changing rooms in my local pool).

I know that I would have had to chase down my older DC and haul her kicking and screaming out of the pool, one-handed, drag her along the slipper poolside and into the slippery changing room, and then keep her somehow strapped down and prevent her from making a run for it back to the pool. It would be well nigh impossible to deal with her hissy fit and the hungry baby all at the same time. Maybe the "limits" should be whatever is convenient and workable for the bfing or ffing mum, also taking into account that very few mums go to the bother of bringing a little baby to a pool unless going to a mum and me class, so there are probably other children to think about and the fact that the mother has to deal with them too... I see absolutely no reason to let mere unthinking and insensitive prejudice rule the waves.

So the law in scotland actually supports more equality than some have shown on this thread.

Round here you are only allowed to take one child under 4 swimming per adult anyway.

Maybe the swimming pool thing doesn't matter I think what does is that if somewhere is appropriate to bf it is appropriate to ff too. Of course the opposite is also true and anyone feeding in a toilet is just .

I think there needs to be far more support for people with babies generally. Women feel at present that people will disapprove if they either bf or ff in public for different reasons.

You're right brettgirl, maybe they would just prefer it if women with children stayed at home out of sight! Where I live there are loads of people (local newspaper) moaning about women daring to get on buses with their children. 2nd class citizens.

How awful for that lady. I bet both of those men read the sun and linger on page 3. I was under the impression that as of this year the law states that you can not ask a women to stop breast feeding in public if the baby is under 6 months. This is also annoying as the government is trying to encourage women to bf for longer than 6 months but offer them no protection from offensive remarks.

Also very odd that their children may ask what the lady was doing- how come they don't know the reason why women along with other mammals have boobs and nipples!

I don't find it odd that children would ask what she was doing? That's how children learn.
I do find it odd that an adult would find it a problem that their child asked that question, though.

Still think it's a bit odd and daft to bfeed in the water.

"I bet both of those men read the sun and linger on page 3."

But you don't know that. You are making that up to fit your own stereotypes.

oh dear. this is making me dread returning to the UK more than i already was!

Here in Australia there is usually several women bf in or around our local pool. But then bf is normal here, and ff unusual.

Those posters who have a problem with bf IN the pool, would they be OK if with bf on the beach? in the sea? Open air pool (like my local)? Where is the line and why?! seems a strange idea to me that you'd have to get out and cold. I can't really think of anywhere that bf wouldn't be ok.

I think very little carrot's analogy is very good!

IMHO babies often want to latch on when in water with mum regardless of when last fed.

Heronfly says the pool is for swimming in but not if you are baby or young child, it is about getting comfortable and confident in the water surely. and bf could help that wouldn't it?

I'd be tempted to have called their bluff and sat still if it happened to me, but i suppose i would have got banned from the pool for life or something, not very convenient. Have any of these complaints got anywhere in local media or councils?

In the pool, in the sea - both seem strange to me. But I would personally be of the opinion of 'odd, but it's their choice'.

And however common a sight bfing in public is in other countries, at the present time in this country some people are genuinely embarrassed by seeing a woman bfing. I think some consideration should be given to those people. Discretion and common sense should apply to both sides.

I do think people need educating about bfing being normal but I don't think that's an excuse for shoving it in people's faces (so to speak )

I think the burden of 'getting over themselves' lies with those embarrassed people, not the bfeeder.

I have never seen a bfeeder shove a breast in someone's face. Usually they are aiming for a baby.

i think it speaks volumes when people use that sort of language

I agree, doris - obv no one literally means that the bf mother is 'shoving it in people's faces' or (something else people say) 'ramming it down people's throats' and they mean 'behaving in a way no one can ignore and in a way people are somehow forced to take notice of'....but a mother bf her kid is easily ignored. You just don't have to look!!

I mean, it's not especially noisy (the odd slurp at most ) and its presence is not heralded with fireworks or neon lights...

It does puzzle me.

Some people are clearly embarrassed by the thought that the mum is bf, and by the strain of not looking. Maybe that is something they cannot help. But it's surely a lot easier for them to put up with these momentary and transient feelings of awkwardness than it is for a mother and her child(ren) to go somewhere else. It seems to me this is a question of good manners and consideration towards the mother and baby.

I have no idea how the mother in the pool was feeding her baby but I do wonder whether it could have been in a way thatis easily ignored or whether it was "in a way no one can ignore and in a way people are somehow forced to take notice of". Are there bfing swimsuits? Or did she have the top of her swimsuit pulled down or bikini top pulled up? Stood in the swimming pool.
You just don't have to look!! I would have thought that might be easier said than done in the pool circumstance. If the men who complained were watching their children they would not want to restrict where their children swam so that they didn't have to watch them in the mother's direction. They maybe didn't want accusations of looking at her too long. Who knows?

I've no idea of the actual situation so I suppose a lot depends on what really happened. Sometimes it's just not that cut and dried. And as I said before, I don't think a bit of common sense and consideration on both sides would go amiss.

And while verylittlecarrot does make a good point with the racism, it's also a thought that if someone says something which they think is harmless to another person but which that person takes offence at, then the person taking offence is the one who has to be considered as having the correct interpretation of the remark and the other person would be told to stop.

Years ago, when I was a kid, we often went swimming with another family. The dad had had an amputation (can't remember why) - he had a false leg from the knee down. He had to use a combination of hopping and a stick to reach the water's edge. This was obviously something that children, especially, and possibly adults, stared at a bit...but he was doing nothing abnormal or wrong, and if people were uncomfortable about seeing his stump, then they did not have to look. If they had to watch their own kids, and our friend hopped into view and into their sight line, or if he was sitting on the edge of the pool with one leg in the water and one leg hovering above it, and people saw, then too bad. If they felt uncomfortable - and I am sure lots of people did, because it did look odd, and heavens, I can remember at eight years old or whatever I was, I felt uncomfortable - then that's their problem. It's good manners not to stare at someone, anyway, whatever they're doing.

He could have worn a long-legged wetsuit with his false leg, I suppose, or made sure he was wrapped in a floor length towel until the very last second, but he didn't, and why on earth should he?

Breastfeeding is not a disability or an amputation! It is a normal behaviour, that intends no harm nor should cause any offence to anyone else.

There is no obligation on the mother to 'show consideration' at all.

Tiktok I think we all have an obligation to show consideration to each other.

juuuule - I agree. I just think the balance of consideration does not lie with the breastfeeding mother and her baby.

How would you suggest 'showing consideration' would work, then?

All I can think of would be avoiding positioning herself at the end of the 'fast swimmers only' lane, where she might be in the way.

Feeding on the side of the pool rather than in it?

There have been several posts explaining why this may not be easy to do, or comfortable.

And there have been several posts really not understanding why it wouldn't be possible or comfortable.

I'm still puzzling over how you discreetly bf in a swimsuit.

'If I ff in a swimming pool I would be ordered straight out.'

And if I drank a Coke, so would I. That's what it's about, for me.

I agree with that Abra1d.

I think you'd pull it down to just below the nipple and then feed. Yes it's less discreet than feeding in clothes, but then a swimsuit by definition is less discreet than clothes. And surely it'd be the same lack of discretion on the side? Not to mention (for those worried about possible contamination of their swimming water) and leakage / posseting would go in the pool anyway.