today I was asked how important breast feeding was to me

[tots2ten]

back history. I am 25 weeks pg with baby number 6. I bottle-fed all my others (due to lack of support), but as this is my last baby, I thought I would breast feed, I tried with dc5 but the midwives were too busy to help, they saw me as a mum who had other dcs and was ok, i should have stood up for myself but asked for a bottle as ds2 was grumpy/tired/hungry and I couldnt get him to latch properly.

Today I had a sickness review with occupational health, I have been off work since January this year, with stress/anxiety brought on by breavement. My mum passed away in march this year. I was caring for her, and everything got a bit too much. I was offered anti-depressants but declined them as i found out I was pg. OT asked me why i declined so I explained that after a lengthy conversation with both my gp and midwife I would not take them, it was my choice. OT didnt agree with me, and she asked me how important it was for me to breast feed, and I found that I was making excuses for breast feeding, she stated that there was nothing wrong with bottle feeding (i agreed with her that there was nothing wrong, but I had decided to try breast feeding this time) she then told me that prehaps it would be better to take the anti-depressants and bottle feed. Its only now after talking to dh about the appointment this morning that I realised what she said. It has upset me more that I made excuses for wanted to breast feed

tots2ten, there are plenty of anti-depressants you can take whilst breasfeeding

OT sounds like she was trying to bully you into taking the ADs which you have said you don't want to do

I agree with thisisyesterday. Check out the Breastfeeding Network's factsheet on antidepressants and breastfeeding. It doesn't need to be an either/or decision.

thats how i now feel eldonave, I sat there making excuses for wanted to breast feed.

wanting

When I spoke to my gp and midwife I agreed that if I feel like everything is getting too much then I would take ads. I am waiting to see a counsillor.

it sounds as tyhough your midwife might be supportive though yes??

if so then talk to her again. if you want to breastfeed then you CAN. and you can take ad's too if you need to, it's ok to take them.

i wonder if you;d benefit from going along to a local LLL meeting, or a baby cafe? am sure there would be some very supportive and knowledgeable people there and it'll be a good start to your breastfeeding relationship with db6
congrats by the way

thank you thiisyesterday. my mw is really good, its been the same mw since I had dc3, my gp is great too. I have numbers ready for the breastfeeding counsillor. I am determined this time to breast feed.

it's good you have a nice MW and GP. i would try and forget about the OT, and just look forward to your new baby
good luck with it all

Lots of good advice here tots, and I hope you succeed in doing what you want to do. I'm quite worried by the employment aspect of this though, as it sounds like the OT's main concern is getting you back to work, rather than what's right for you.

sorry the OT has got you so upset, and of course how you chose to feed your baby has got bugger all to do with her imo and I would be sorely tempted to make a complaint about her for intimidating you into apologising for your parenting choices.

As others have said, being informed and determined is half the battle where BFing is concerned, and it sounds like you are pretty determined. As others have also said, it's perfectly possible to take AD's whilst you are BFing as there are lots of different ones available which have a proven track record. It's also possible to take them in pregnancy; I have with my last two pregnancies and I then went on to BF successfully and take ADs for 10 months with DD and I'm still going with DS2 at 9 months.

The OT's ignorance of BFing matters aside, if you are determined to succeed than I think that that's half the battle.

Read up as much as you can, on here and sites like kellymom, look at videos of latching on sites like Dr Jack Newman and have the local BF councellor numbers handy and know where all the local support groups are and you'll do it

respect at baby No 6 and Good Luck

Thank you all for your replies (and links) I have saved them so that I can read in the morning.

OT did agree that it would not be wise to return to work before starting maternity leave (4 weeks time) as I look after the elderly, and my mum was only 56. At least there is one pressure that has been relieved today.

She asked if I was planning on returning to work, I said that at the moment I am, but things can and do change, and that I would give full notice of my intentions closer to the date. I know that they have someone in on a temp cover (i spoke to my line manager this afternoon) and explained that I will not return to work this side of maternity leave, so they can extend the temp's cover.

she sounds like a pretty useless OT tots2ten, as she technically isn't allowed to ask you if you are returning to work.

I hope that you can relax and enjoy your time off before the baby without worrying about work and that you succeed in your BFing this time round.

And I hope that the loss of your mum gets easier for you soon; I lost my mum last year after a long illness, and although it was expected, dodn't make it any easier to deal with.

Take care, and keep up posted on the baby and the BFing