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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Baby UNfriendly hospital - Anyone have any ideas how to fight the following?

69 replies

Marthasmama · 23/06/2009 20:49

I have been trying to establish how I am going to continue to breastfeed dd (8 months) while I am staying in hospital following a gynacological operation. I have been told I will need a 5 day stay in hospital. I was told by the consultant that there is no facility for me to have dd in hospital with me. To make matters worse, I have today found out from PALS that I will only be allowed to see dd to feed her during visiting hours which are 3-4pm and 6.30-8pm. I was told that I could not have additional visits for breastfeeding as the nurses have a responsibility for my well-being not for dd's.

I am not happy to accept this and wondered if anyone had any ideas where to go from here. DD still has loads of milk and is very clingy so it is going to be hard enough without this being taken away from us. I am probably going to call PALS back again and inform them that it is essential for my mental well-being that I am allowed to continue to breast feed my baby. I am so angry and fed up that I really feel like not having the op as my main priority at the moment is dd's well being. Do you think it would be worth contacting my local branch of NCT?

TIA

OP posts:

dawntigga · 24/06/2009 09:55

Contact the Chief Exec now - don't mess about with anyone else. Contact your MP and local press. Contact the ABM, check out the hospital on the WHO/Unicef website and see if they are planning on reapplying for BFHI if so contact WHO/Unicef and let them know. Contact the Health Secretary, whoever that is this week last time I checked it was Andy Burnham but that could have all changed. Contact the Ministry for Women although that use to be Harriet Harman and she may still be dodging expenses issues! CC the Chief Executive with all the emails/letters sent to these organisations and people.

Don't let them get away with this.

Can you tell I'm ???

dxx

StealthPolarBear · 24/06/2009 15:11

How did you get on?
Please get this sorted if you haven't already - at 8 months there's no way I could have left my DS for 5 days, from a feeding point of view. Also was going to say the same as elkie - even if your baby wasn't bf, expecting a mum to see her baby during visiting times only is awful - would this have been the case if your baby was tiny?
Is there any chance this op could be postponed for 3 or 4 months or is it crucial it's done now?

PacificDogwood · 24/06/2009 15:13

I think quoting the NICE guideline may be one of your most powerful tools. Well done, grendle!
I have calmed down a bit since I first read your OP, Marthasmum, and I really do not see how if you are polite but stubborn firm they can possibly insist on you having to stop BFing an 8 months old baby for the sake of a hospital stay of a few days. And she should most definetely not be seen as a visitor but rather as an appendage !
I like all the reference to "devious" letters... go for it!!

Hope all goes v well, for you, for baba and for BFing !!

Original poster

Marthasmama · 24/06/2009 15:23

Hello ladies. Thank you again all of your support. I must confess that I haven't been able to get much done today as dd is very unhappy with her teeth. She's been nursing like a new born all day! I have been given the names of the relevant people at the hospital by my lovely friend (and MNer) as she is in the know. DH is around tomorrow so hopefully he can take dd for a walk while I get calling.

SPB - Unfortunately I can't postpone the op as I may explode! I have an ovarian cyst which was about the size of an apple in March but has now grown to the size of a 28 week pregnancy! It is not showing any signs of slowing down either.

Of course I will keep you all up-dated!!! It would be too unkind not to!

OP posts:

undomesticatedgoddess · 24/06/2009 15:41

Marthasmama

So sorry to hear about the way they are treating you. It makes me ashamed to work for the NHS sometimes.

I would contact the Director of Nursing at the hospital. They have responsibility for nursing care across all of the wards so will be able to organise movement between different departments if need be. They are also one of the most powerful people in the hospital and can often get the consultants to do what they want.

It might be worth finding out if the director of nursing is sympathetic before going in with all guns blazing. You never know, she might be a MNer . If s/he isn't though you really need to go for it as this is appalling. They allow prison guards to stay with prisoners 24/7 and they're not treated as visitors - so why not your baby I don't know.

Good luck.

treedelivery · 24/06/2009 18:25

Good luck for tomorrow! It'll be fine, you will get what you need.

You might need to be realistic though and not have the baby 'live' with you at first after the op, on your own at any rate. You are going to really struggle to do baby cares after a general for the first little while. FAmily might need to work a rota out to have someone there all the time - if you want bubs there all the time. To pass and do nappies and rock to sleep etc. Or maybe you are planning on having dd brought in for feeds - in which case I am waffling...

greensnail · 24/06/2009 19:52

Hi, just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow, and agree that you should definitely talk to the director of nursing first. How to accomodate you and your baby on the ward is a nursing issue, and nothing to do with the consultant. Hopefully director of nursing will have breastfed her own children and understand completely and have it all sorted out for you very easily. Good luck.

giraffescantdancethetango · 24/06/2009 20:01

Good luck

Original poster

Marthasmama · 24/06/2009 20:03

Thank you again. My local branch of the NCT have been in touch loads today and are on the case. They have been speaking to their head office and also to their breast feeding gurus. They are preparing to fight for me! I will crack on with it from my end tomorrow when DH takes dd for a walk.

I will keep you informed.......

OP posts:

PuzzleRocks · 24/06/2009 20:06

That's really positive MM, best of luck.

wuglet · 24/06/2009 20:06

Hope it all goes well

FWIW I was speaking to the IFC of our local hospital today. She says although we don't have a set-in-stone policy on nursing mothers she would expect each to be looked at on an individual basis wrt letting the baby stay - and thinks at an absolute minimum should be open visiting for your DD to feed.

Good luck

Juwesm · 24/06/2009 20:37

FWIW MM, I've often seen visitors on the ward outside of visiting hours. Usually this has been arranged with the ward manager due to special circs. Visiting hours are not set in stone.

giraffescantdancethetango · 24/06/2009 20:53

Sounds good! fingers crossed

PacificDogwood · 24/06/2009 22:14

Good luck for tomorrow from here too, Marthasmum.

Woooozle100 · 24/06/2009 22:19

good luck

I'd go through chief execs office to sort out

treedelivery · 24/06/2009 22:23

Good luck again.
Open visiting - that's what I was on about in a really long winded way. I couldn't arrive at the term Well done wuglet!

Still totally shocked at Pals and the visiting hours for a bf mother and baby. Wtf? More I think about it the more bizarre that is!

idontbelieveit · 24/06/2009 22:34

Good luck, can't believe you have to fight to be able to feed your child

Doesn't surprise me though, i got told off for breastfeeding my 8 week old baby in children's outpatients whilst waiting for her appointment, this was next to a big breastfeeding wall display . Am awaiting response to my complaint.

Really hope you get things sorted out and you can stop worrying soon.

treedelivery · 24/06/2009 22:36

idontbelieveit -

moondog · 24/06/2009 22:57

Believe it, who said what exactly to yuo and how did you reply?

mummypig · 24/06/2009 23:13

Marthasmama I hope it all goes well for you. Let's see this as a positive way to educate certain health professionals who don't really understand what breastfeeding is all about. Hopefully, if they acknowledge that you should have your dd with you, it will make the whole process far smoother for the next breastfeeding woman to come in for an op.

Idon'tbelieve it that is absolutely shocking.

treedelivery · 24/06/2009 23:32

Idont - is it you who was told not to feed in a waiting rom as no food or drink was allowed?

Terrible, but I rofl'ed at the stupidity of saying that to someone.

He he heeeeee.

idontbelieveit · 25/06/2009 08:01

moondog - it went something like this, the nurse in question was a junior member of staff.

Nurse - "You're not allowed to do that here, you have to go to another room."

Me (rather loudly) - "Are you telling me I can't breastfeed in the waiting room"

Nurse - "yes it's no drinks in here, you have to go to another room"

Me - "I'm not moving my older dd is playing in here and i need to watch her and I'm waiting for her (dd2s) appointment."

Nurse - "You have to move if you want to feed her"

Me - "I'm not moving!"

Another nurse who noticed the volume of the conversation intervened and told me I could breastfeed and said something about the junior nurse being confused about the hot drinks policy .
Nobody apologised though and i'm still awaiting the Chief Execs esponse to a letter I sent about 6 weeks ago (dd2 now 5 months).

Anyway, sory for the highjack OP, really hope things get sorted today.

Original poster

Marthasmama · 25/06/2009 10:15

Update - Grrrr

Called to speak to the Head of Nursing and she is away for the next 3 weeks. Her secretary put me through to the Director of Women and Children's services, who then tried to put me through to the midwives. I don't think she understood what I was talking about so explained the situation again. She tried to fob me off saying that if I had spoken to the nursing staff on the ward via PALS, then there was nobody else I could really speak to. I said that I was only asking for additional visiting hours so that I can feed my daughter, I do not think that this is unreasonable. She then said that she didn't know who I needed to speak to so I suggested the chief exec....or my MP who I know has signed up to the NCT Breastfeeding Manifesto.....or the local press...... Now I am waiting for a call back from someone who can help. I am pretty shocked that I need to fight so hard for this!

OP posts:

MachuPicchu · 25/06/2009 10:30

What a lot of unnecessary worry when you've already got an operation to be anxious about. Absolutely ridiculous.

(My father was an orthopaedic surgeon (the most macho of all surgery I think!) and I asked what he would have done with a patient with your requirements and he looked at me like I was and idiot and said that of course she should be able to feed the baby whenever it needs it - not all consultants are monsters I promise!)

tiktok · 25/06/2009 10:32

Go, marthasmamma

If you don't hear back soon, then of course you should alert all the people you mention in your post.

Don't hold back.

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