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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What do you think is the UPPER age to be still breastfeeding or bottlefeeding?

102 replies

RTKangaMummy · 10/05/2005 10:59

.

What do you think is the UPPER age to be still breastfeeding or bottlefeeding?

I asked it on the other thread but no one is answering me so thought would ask again on another thread

They are going to be discussing it on THIS MORNING at 12 noon today.

I am surprized if children are still being fed with bottles and breast

AFTER 4 or 5 years

I believe in breast is best but why do they still need it when they are at school?

.

OP posts:
flum · 18/05/2005 16:45

They also give it to old peopel too sometimes

tiktok · 18/05/2005 16:56

flum - where? I hope they don't. Milk donated to milk banks is for special care babies, not anyone else. There's never enough for the babies. It is not right for it to be donated elsewhere.

Chandra · 18/05/2005 17:17

TikTok, I can't believe that you have fall for that one

tiktok · 18/05/2005 23:33

?

Eulalia · 19/05/2005 14:30

I think the fundamental difference between breastfeeding and bottlefeeding older babies/children is that the former is about a relationship with the mother. A child cannot have a relationship with a bottle. Obviously for little babies a relationship is built in as the mother (or parent) is holding baby whilst feeding him/her. However once baby can sit up and feed himself safely then there is no need for the parent to be within physical proximity. Perhaps some feelings of comfort are derived from holding the bottle (ie memories of being comforted close to mother). But surely those comfort feelings are due to something physical rather than a transfer of a food substance? I think this is where some people find it uncomfortable in that the very closeness is maintained with breastfeeding.

One could argue at what age it is appropriate to start maintaining a distance physical from their children but it seems that toddlers still demand a hell of a lot of it. They seem to want their own space very gradually and even when starting school will still want lots of cuddles. I am not suggesting that everyone would want to continue breastfeeding children of this age, merely that it is natural if both parties want it to carry on a bit longer.

I suppose this is why I have said that this is why it is wrong /inappropriate for an older baby to be carrying a bottle about because it is really serving very little purpose at best and at worst may be damanging their health. Breastfeeding doesn't damage health

If a parent is allowing their child to get comfort from a bottle then this means that the child is being deprived from proper social interaction. I am no psychologist of course! but hope this just throws up the point that it is really like comparing apples and eggs when you talk about ages of giving up bottles/breast.

tiktok · 19/05/2005 15:06

still waiting for Chandra to explain what I am supposed to have fallen for.....please explain, Chandra

Aragon · 19/05/2005 15:30

How long? As long as Mum and child are happy with it. No child will continue longer than it really wants to. Peer pressure etc. We breastfeed less in this country than in others where they wean babies much later.

YeahBut · 19/05/2005 16:52

I'm with Ghosty - DD2 (3.5) will only drink milk out of a bottle and I'm fully aware that it is completely a comfort issue. She has one when she wakes up and is still sleepy and one before she goes to bed. I've seen other discussions on this topic and listened to Dr T. on Little Angels telling me that she is too old and should not have a bottle.

Quite frankly, it is 2 out of the many drinks she has in a day, the rest of which she has from a cup. I'm not going to force my child to give up something that she feels she needs. DD1 (5) has a soft toy that she HAS to sleep with every night and I would never dream of forcing her to give it up, why would I do it to DD2 just because her comfort item is a bottle of milk?

I know other children that still need a dummy to sleep with at 5 and can't understand why people make a fuss about that either. I don't really see why so many parents feel the need to make our children give up things that are a comfort to them before they feel ready to. Feel exactly the same about breastfeeding although was a bit concerned about the 8 year old story!

BTW, completely understand where people are coming from re: drinking juice etc from a bottle and using it as the main fluid dispenser. That's not on from a dental health perspective.

Eulalia · 19/05/2005 19:58

I thought I sounded a little puritanical earlier. I have no problems with children having bottles, especially at bedtimes although I guess not in the bed itself. I think its when the child has to carry it around all the time, or won't leave the house without a blankie. One child I used to know carried a cloth bib around even at the toddler group and he sucked on it from time to time. Yeauch.

Children do naturally attach themselves to certain objects and as far as I can see most parents allow this within a controlled environment, ie only at certain times of the day.

What I find irritating is that some think it is wrong or unnatural for a child to get comfort from their mothers. The beauty of breastfeeding is that you physically cannot have a child hanging off your breast. Therefore the breastfeeding session has a definate beginning and end to it. This I see as a positive advantage as one doesn't have to worry about a dummy falling out and being lost for example. I mean boobs are pretty portable. Also the idea that the child is constantly wanting boob is a bit of a myth. Perhaps they can have clingy moments (doesn't every child) but I have found that often a one minute 'pit-stop' seems to have been sufficient to calm my child and they then go off and do their own thing. It's just so convenient.

It also really helped to calm my son (who has autism) when he was younger. I'll never forget when we had to board a plane and he was terrified. He was 3 by then and as soon as we got on board I covered us both with my jacket and put him to my breast and he calmed down within a few seconds.

Chandra · 21/05/2005 00:12

Tiktok, that they are using breast milk for older people . Flum is joking most of the time

tiktok · 21/05/2005 10:13

Bit it's true, Chandra.....old people and sick people are occasionally given breastmilk (expressed, from a cup), and there are several documened cases of this. My objection to this would only be if mothers have donated milk to a SCBU milk bank, to find their donations diverted!

I didn't 'fall' for anything.

Chandra · 21/05/2005 16:17

Sorry your majesty...

lunavix · 21/05/2005 17:21

My PERSONAL opinion, so please noone take offense, is that I think breastfeeding past about 1 and a half is a bit icky. It may be good for them, but it just makes my stomach churn a little, thinking of a big toddler suckling! And I normally am pro-breast feeding.

Having said that, the sight of toddlers running around with anything other than milk in a bottle disgusts me too. And bottles past 2 in particular there isn't really a need for.

aloha · 21/05/2005 17:39

On holiday in France a couple of years ago the youngest child (of four) of the French owners of our cottage had a bottle quite often. She was about six. She was, however, a quite strikingly independent little girl, bright, confident and cheerful - off in her pyjamas and wellies to feed the chickens by herself every morning.
I find it nonsensical personally that a single minor issue such as having a bottle to drink out of could warp a child's personality.
You know, I don't care how long someone else's child has a bottle or breastfeeds, or has a dummy or a comforter. It certainly aint hurting anyone else.

JoolsToo · 21/05/2005 17:43

you're absolutely right aloha but at the same time people still have an opinion on it - like everything else in life I suppose - its what makes us interesting (I think! )

bosscat · 21/05/2005 17:45

and strange as it would be to see a 10 year old boy having milk from a bottle it would be so much weirder to see one opening his mothers blouse and having a drink. Like it or not breasts are also sexual and at some stage its got to be off limits surely or it does start hurting someone ? like the child in question.

SueW · 21/05/2005 17:46

Heck, how come manufacturers are making so many sports pop-top bottles for water then if we shouldn't be using them ;)

TBH, there are times when I've wished my red wine was in a child's bottle, as a glassful has deposited itself onto the carpet ;)

BTW, did anyone see American wife swap on Thursday where they were drinking coffee through straws so they didn't ruin their bleached teeth? I think I'd give up the coffee rather than do that. In fact, I'm surprised someone hasn't ocme up with non-staining coffee, tea and red wine, now that white teeth are becoming de rigeur over here too.

(How can I discover and patent those things in the next 24 hours!)

bosscat · 21/05/2005 17:47

OMG yes, the straws ... do you think they would dare sit in Starbucks and use a straw? surely not!

aloha · 21/05/2005 17:49

You know, I actually think this is one of the very rare things I don't really have an opinion on!
As for ten year old boys...oh, come on. It doesn't happen. It just doesn't.

aloha · 21/05/2005 17:49

You know, I actually think this is one of the very rare things I don't really have an opinion on!
As for ten year old boys...oh, come on. It doesn't happen. It just doesn't.

JoolsToo · 21/05/2005 17:57

look at this thread - some La Leche woman fed her son to 11 years old (no subtantiation though)

pretty rare I would have thought

tiktok · 21/05/2005 18:18

Chandra....get over yourself will ya?

hunkermunker · 21/05/2005 18:19

Hey, JT, what do you think about expressing for a child over one? Still think it's a good plan?

milkybarkid · 21/05/2005 21:01

tiktok may be right about the donated milk being given to old people. It is mainly for special care babies but where I donate to they say it may be used for children and sometimes adults. I was surprised when I found this out.

ionesmum · 21/05/2005 21:55

Very interested to read this thread. I'm still bfeeding dd2 at 14 mo and have no intention to stop. Dd1 was bottlefed and had bottles right up until she was two and a half, and very often had extremely dilute fresh juice - she only started to drink water earlier this year. I hated having to give her a bottle in public but she simply would not drink out of a cup or beaker - we wasted fortunes trying different ones out. Even now she will not drink from a Avent - type cup although we have found a Tommy Tipee one she likes. Generally she drinks from a straw or open cup. I did try not giving her bottles once (like Dr. Tanya advises) and she started to become dehydrated. I don't think it was a comfort thing - she's a very confident, independent little girl - she just doesn't like cups. I make a point now of not judging a parent who has to give her child a bottle when a toddler because I know it's not just laziness.