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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How would you help this mum? What would your advice be?

49 replies

mears · 07/05/2005 19:48

Here is a breastfeeding support teaser for you. I will give the outcome later.

Friend is expecting twins and determined to breast feed. She has had 2 babies before and has been unsuccessful breastfeeding before. Did not last longer than a day last time. Didn't feel support was very good.

Feels determined to breastfeed this time round. Cost of formula is an issue - breastmilk is free and it will be more convenient to feed both babies together. Has not even bought bottles.

Has twins normally. Good weights. Babies are disinterested in feeding. Twin 2 has low blood sugars and needs formula top-ups. Twin 1 has not fed properly for 24 hours.

Mum is very confused and unsure what to do. Feels pretty stressed over it all. Babies not interested much. Has tried skin-to-skin contact. Assistance given by midwives. Neds good positioning with lots of pillows to get baby feeding.

You have said you will come and help.

You arrive to find mum in a vexed state. Doesn't know what to do next. Is the next feed breast or bottle? Needs to make a decision regarding feeding.
What do you think I did? What would you do?

Answer later tonight.

OP posts:

highlander · 07/05/2005 22:02

It does sound like mum is fretting too much and needs reassurance 24/7 from someone who knows what to do. I suspect she keeps taking the babies off and on and not giving them a chance to settle into it properly?

Katemum · 07/05/2005 22:13

Bump, where has Mears got to, I need my sleep!

moondog · 07/05/2005 22:16

Mears!!! Where aaaaaaare yoooouuuuuuuuuu.....??

highlander · 07/05/2005 22:16

c'mon mears the suspense is killing me!!

spod · 07/05/2005 22:16

i'd get into bed with dts.... keep up skin contact, keep offering milk... too soon to resort to formula... do tell... what happened?

moondog · 07/05/2005 22:31

Bugger..gotta go. 12:30 here and it's been a very long day.
You come back soon mears, y'hear??!!

highlander · 07/05/2005 22:36

why does this remind me of that Friday night Japanese betting show - 'place bets now!'

Original poster

mears · 07/05/2005 22:43

Sorry - meant to come back sooner. Fell asleep in Chair after glass (bottle) of wine!

Caligula is the winner

Went to see mum.

Very stressed looking.

Asked some open ended questions.

What did she really feel she wanted to do?

How did she feel when twin 1 latched on? - answer - didn't like it much.

Had envisaged babies feeding simultaneously at breast then sleeping 4 hours.

Watched a mum at breakfast breastfeed and eat ceral at same time - to breastfeed she needed loads of pillows to get positioning right.

Big clinching question was - how did you honestly feel when I said I was coming to help? - answer - expression of horror.

Did you think 'shit'? - answer yes.

Question - what do you think your answers are saying? I want to bottle feed.

Answer from me - I think you are making the right decision for you. Reasons being - the romantic notion of B/F babies 4 hourly simultaneously is not going to happen, certainly not immediately.

You know bottle feeding inside out

Do not worry about what others think - you are the one making the decision knowing your own capabilities and family needs.

One happy mum bottle feeding on Farleys - her choice of previosly used milk.

I drove home happy that I helped her work out what she was really thinking. The sense of relief on her face said it all

OP posts:

highlander · 07/05/2005 22:45

congrats caligula!!

Let's have another next week mears - that was fun, and thought provoking!

hub2dee · 07/05/2005 22:45

Awwww... your're just not telling the truth, mears, you pumped em full of Micky D's finest, didn't you.

Well done Caligula.

highlander · 07/05/2005 22:48

nah H2D, a puree of Glasgow's finest smoked sausage supper, complete with salt 'n' sauce

hub2dee · 07/05/2005 22:49

Could one argue that perhaps doing more work on addressing the fears, the social expectations, her scheduling concerns, whether dh could support her etc. etc. would have also been an alternative (bf) outcome... or do you always go by 'client = happy = happy mummy = happy baby' ?

(Interested, not trying to wind you up, but I didn't get a gold star, LOL !

JulieF · 07/05/2005 22:53

Well I wouldn't "advise" her to do anything, (however as a midwife your remit is slightly different I suppose)

I would listen to her first and ask her how she feels, I would ask her about the birth and any "help" she was given to breastfeed (was there a midwife who was too hands on perhaps).

I would then
say to her that it is important that these babies receive milk, what kind and how they receive it is up to her. I would ask to observe a feed and see if there is anything obvious. If she gets distressed I would tell her it is OK to stop and ask her whether she want to be shown how to hand express. I would give her information on cup feeding and tell her that it is an option if she wants to avoid formula. I personally would need to take further advise on the blood sugar thing but my gut feeling would be that breastmilk is the best thing to raise the sugar level and I would confirm that with the local 24 hour b/f line. If she chooses to go down this route I would tell her that to maintain a good supply it is a good idea to express at least every 3 hours and to give the twins whatever she can produce whilst continuing with skin to skin, taking babies in the bath and gently trying to get babies to feed.

I would say to take it one day at a time and arrange to see her the following day.

However if after giving her that info she decided it wasn't worth going through all that I would feel a bit sad for her but say to her that she has to make the decision that is best for her at the time and support her in that.

Probably crap but thats my best attemp at this time of night. My baby refused the breast for over 1 month and I did get in a bit of a state over it but had a fantastic m/w, HV and bfc all help me.

Original poster

mears · 07/05/2005 22:56

I think the real thing here was that there were some unrealistsic expectations.

Mum is always pretty sick post delivery so couldn't have skin-to skin contact immediately.

Babies were offered breast but just were not interested.

Mum tried to express and didn't get one single drop - twin 2 had falling blood sugars. No colostrum expressed therefore formula given with cup.

Confidence severely lacking.

She envied mum s who chose to bottle feed from start - she felt she should really try.
Overwhelming responsibility of 2 babies all on her own in hospital - although was aware help would be offered.

Scared midwives would think less of her for switching to bottles - reassured that would not be the case.

This is probably the first time that I have 'encouraged' a mum to bottle feed. The look on her face said that choice was right.

She was worried about having to feed in front of anyone.

Husband supported her decision in whatever she wanted to do - that put all the responsibility onto her.

I really think she backed herself into a corner and I helped her steer herself out.

OP posts:

JulieF · 07/05/2005 22:58

Oh I see the answer was posted whilst I was composing mine. Hmm, not sure how I did really.

Original poster

mears · 07/05/2005 23:00

JulieF - I did all that. Once we started discussing how she felt about it al I realised breast feeding was not what she wanted to continue with. She really fely it wasn't something she could do.

Realistically she knew that she couldn't do what was needed to get B/F established.

I did of course reassure her that if she wanted to try putting babes to the breast again she could at any time.

Spoke to her today - not one tingle of milk coming in does she have. Never had any engorgement last times either.

Is feeling happy now she made a decision regarding feeding. She is a different woman - no regrets.

OP posts:

Katemum · 07/05/2005 23:02

I'm glad she is happy and now I have the answer I can go to bed. night

hub2dee · 07/05/2005 23:02

Interesting... wonder if research has explored psychological vs. physiological factors affecting let-down reflex (if I've got the right term)...

JulieF · 07/05/2005 23:05

That was very interesting, you'll have to do another one soon.

Original poster

mears · 07/05/2005 23:18

By the way Julie I agree a woman should never be advised what to do. By discussing it and me asking certain questions she was able to come to her own answer.

OP posts:

JoolsToo · 07/05/2005 23:20

and that should be an end to all the breast/bottle fall out!

JoolsToo · 07/05/2005 23:22

I'm saving this thread for the next time

yoyo · 07/05/2005 23:37

Mears - Thanks for answering. I can go to bed now. I had the most fantastic MW with DD2 and have remained ever grateful to her dedication and care. You sound a lot like her. Well done.

Surfermum · 08/05/2005 00:32

Mears, good call. I'm sat here with a lump in my throat. You have described perfectly exactly how I felt. When the midwife came on day 4 and I was in bits and wishing I hadn't had dd, she suggested formula and she told me that my look of relief was palpable.

I don't know if my milk ever came in. My boobs never felt sore and I only leaked once. What I do know is that dd had cried almost non-stop for 3 days and she was hungry. Once dd went onto formula it was like I had a different baby. I have never looked back and I don't feel guilty or regret that decision one bit.

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