Invading my space

[fruitstick]

My DH and DS1 (3) are often invading my space when I'm breastfeeding and I hate it!

I feel really guilty and I can't explain it - it's an almost instinctive 'get the hell away from me' response.

When I'm feeding DS1 likes to come up and smother DS2 in kisses (I don't get any
) or generally smother him. Also I do night feeds lying down in bed and my husband likes to spoon - I'm in a kind of sandwich!

How do I deal with it. Do I just grit my teeth or is there a polite way of dealing with both of them without hurting anybody's feelings.

Tell your dh, I'm sure he will cope. I can't do that either, it makes me feel trapped!

As for your ds I would try distracting with a special box of toys that are ONLY for feeding times. Doesn't have to be anything special, just only accessible when you are feeding his brother. Or put on the tv.

I think with your dh you kind of have to be honest (sensitively) and say that although you feel that you might be being a bit unreasonable, you find it a bit intrusive at the moment.

With your ds1 it's a bit more tricky as you need to do everything possible to minimise the potential of sibling rivalry (imo)

I guess that if you are at home with both during the day then you might have to put up with it. At weekends/evenings perhaps enlist your dh's help/support by getting him to divert ds1. Perhaps if you felt that some feeds were undisturbed then you could tolerate ds1's "invasion" at other times a bit more easily?

Tell your dh. I had something similar while I was exclusively breastfeeding my daughter who wanted to be permanently attached to the nipple. I shrank away from my husband when he came to kiss me and I had to explain that I had 'touch overload' and that it wasn't personal.

Loving the idea of 'touch overload'. I feel so guilty, he tries to be lovely in the evening and asks if I want him to massage my shoulders or something and I'm just dying to say, 'no just sit over there quietly and don't ask me anything taxing'

Obviously I don't always feel like this, but would like some kind of isolation chamber for about half an hour a day.

my dd1 demonstrates and lays it on thick big style when I'm feeding dd2.

I think she is trying to show how much she is ok with it all [so I guess she either is, or she isn't and is hoping she can fool me].

I do sometimes feel a bit 'baby bubble' and like I need space and want everyone to go away - but I bite lip when it comes to dd1. Would probably say something to dh, in a nice way obviously.

I hear you!

My DH likes spooning too, but I hate it if our baby is in bed with us. I usually lie on my side feeding her and if he cuddles up behind me I feel quite claustrophobic. I have told him that I need more space if she is in the bed and he doesn't seem to mind .

Now that DC3 is bigger she gets more distracted if I am feeding her and the older two (aged 2&4) are playing in the room, so that is the issue more than being touched and prodded. I do try and keep them away when she is being fed, and just tell them to play in another room if she is turning to look at them. They don't always listen though!