4 week old - do I need to top her up with formula?

[littleduck]

I am at the end of my tether after a difficult few days with my little one.

I am exclusively bfing. I think I have a fast let down as LO really seems to gulp and gasp (like you do when you drink a lot really quickly and then have to stop to catch your breath) through the first 10 mins of a feed, then gets a bit less noisy, then she ends the feed by just sucking but not swallowing and can get very sleepy. I winder her and change her mid feed which wakes her up and then offer the second breast which she usually takes just as enthusiastically as the first with the same very loud gulping and swallowing and then slows down and finishes by comfort sucking.

Once she has finished her feed I put her to sleep in her Moses. she used to settle with no fuss but in the past week seems to settle for a few minutes and then cries. I figure she can't be hungry having just finished a feed - but am running out of answers as to what it is that she is crying for as (a) I can't yet tell what her cries mean whish makes me feel a complete failure and (b) she has been fed, winded, is not too hot or cold and cried when I tried to cuddle her so I can't think what else she could want. I left her to try and settle herself and she cried on and off for a few minutes but is now quiet.

I wonder if maybe she is not getting enough from me and needs to be given a top up with formula or switched to formula completely although I would prefer to bf as it is the best thing for her.

Is it usual for bf babies to appear to have enough at a feed and then want more 10 minutes later? Am I wrong to think that as she has just been fed it is unlikely that she needs more?

I am feeling like a really crap mother for not knowing what the hell to do so any advice appreciated to solve the problem.

i never knew what dd's cries meant. i just put her back on the boob if i didn't know what else to do. when you're putting her in the moses and she cries it's probably just because she doens't want to be on her own.

Mine is the same age and I am having the same problems. I suspect a growth spurt so am just feeding lots. Norks don't run out of milk and our bodies will respond to increased feeding by producing more.

Introducing a bottle of formula will only decrease supply. It will pass, keep in there! You are not a really crap mother, just knackered like me, I bet!

She could be having an early growth spurt. I would just feed her again - on the breast you used first until she is happier.

She may also want to be put in a sling more and carried about instead of being put down as Norah suggests. I think if they are falling asleep next to a lovely warm breast then it is going to be a bit of a shock to wake up in the moses basket.

If you introduce top-ups now it could mean the end of bf - my dcs never liked their moses basket at all so we just used to go out in the buggy a lot and they would fall asleep instantly - and they do need to sleep a lot - every couple of hours.

Agree first port of call should be offer the breast to be sure. You could also try a dummy if she wants to continue sucking? Takes a lot of effort to get them able to hold it in but personally I found them useful.

Please don't lose heart as you're nearly at the point where your supply feels established and sure. In a couple of weeks you should know what I mean, where you just know you can stop worrying if the milk is there. My sis always said with her babies the 2nd half of the 2nd month is when it settles and have found she's right - I'm currently BF-ing my second child and we are 12 weeks in, it's felt easy for what seems like ages now, but I was feeling the same as you at 4 weeks, and first time round I did what you are doing and assumed I was doing wrong when you probably aren't! Have a squeeze of your nip whenever you aren't sure and see if you can express anything to put your mind at rest, and count the wet nappies and weight gain too.

You'll also find at this stage she's "waking up" in general and becoming more noisy, wanting to be awake more and held more as others have said, again I find the dummy helpful for when this isn't possible and you need to get on with some things.

Why not see/speak to a breastfeeding counsellor at your docs? If you're lucky one of the residents here will reply to you too.

Hang in there!

Oh, one last thing, I must confess to giving her the odd top up at your stage, my baby was small for dates so fed like mad to bump up her weight.. I did it once I had let her have both boobs at least twice and were empty and I felt there wouldn't be anymore let downs - so I knew she'd done the work to bring more milk in later, but in the meantime she was still really hungry and needed an extra ounce to keep her going - in this case I felt it appropriate as she was upset. Good luck.

Hiya - don't feel like a failure!!! You're doing so well! I think I've only just worked out some of DS's cries and he's 7 months... My DS did sometimes seem hungry just after finishing a feed when going through a growth spurt and often cluster fed in the evenings - but it could very well be as RuddyNorah or GKS said that she was loving the cuddle and then felt all surprised when she found herself on her own.

Don't beat yourself up - if she's enjoying her feeds and there are plenty of wet nappies and she's gaining weight you don't have to introduce formula unless you want to.

I also tried a dummy at about 5 weeks - it helped DS to settle when he wanted to suck but wasn't hungry (he was very vocal when he was hungry).

Sending you an unMN hug.