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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Well I complained about MW

14 replies

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 10:52

Just a little story incase you don't know. DS2 born weighing 10lb 5oz, dropped to 9lb 6oz. On 5th day MW forced FF top ups which I and 2 other MWs and my GP says ruined my latch. So I complained about her. Just recieved reply from PALS.

It says that they spoke to the MW in question about her BF advice and she has told them that she believed I did not enjoy BF and that by day 5 my milk was not in properly and therefore she had to tell us to give him FF top ups. It also says that she stated that in her opinion a bottle does not ruin the latch that a baby has and only poor latching on by the mother does this. But she has recieved a written warning as my complaint was not her first and she is being sent on an advanced BF help course.

I am f*king livid!!! I did not enjoy BF, I was hardly given a f*king chance!!!!

OP posts:

MinnieMummy · 22/05/2009 10:57

Well done for complaining and I'm sorry you've had a bad experience. I'm not surprised you're livid, I would have been too.

Out of interest, what result were you hoping for?

Original poster

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 10:58

I was hoping she would be sent on a course which is what is happening. I hoped that the course would stop her doing it to someone else.

OP posts:

tiktok · 22/05/2009 11:13

Kayzr - fantastic that you complained.

Sounds like she could do with an elementary rather than advanced bf course, though

Introduction of bottles certainly does affect subsequent breastfeeding - it may not be the latch it affects (still less 'ruins') but the impact of formula in the early days is well-known. The baby who is not latching well on the breast needs help to fix this.

tiktok · 22/05/2009 11:25

As I recall, you had dreadful 'help' from a health visitor, too, kayzr...while your dander is up, you could think about complaining about her as well

Original poster

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 12:10

I might do that Tiktok as she has given some more useless help since then.

OP posts:

passmethegin · 22/05/2009 14:06

How exactly did she 'force' the top ups? You could have been more assertive if you didn't want to go down that route.

Original poster

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 14:12

By threatening to take my son into hospital. She said he had lost far too much weight and he would have to be tube fed.

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 22/05/2009 14:16

passmethegin I adon't agree. There's quite a lot of emotional blackmail and scaremongering can go on...you don't know what you're doing so you trust the 'experts', as you should be able to
(and I say that as someone who has had fantastic MWs and good HVs)

Kayzr - did the email give you the impression that your complaint had been upheld, or that they had tried to pacify you? Is there any research you can send to show that what she recommended was not right?

StarlightMcKenzie · 22/05/2009 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Kayzr · 22/05/2009 14:31

I agree that she maybe didn't force me exactly but when you have a 4 day old, a 20 month old trying to adjust and practically no sleep to be threatened with hospitalisation it did feel like forcing to me and my DH.

Stealth, I don't know really. They just seemed to say that she felt she was in the right but because I was not the first person to complain about this MW they felt something needed doing.

OP posts:

Sassyfrassy · 22/05/2009 15:03

Good work Kayzr. I think it's great that you complained and hopefully with more knowledge this mw will do a decent job next time.

I know it might not have been real forcing, but when you've just had a baby you're in such a fragile and emotional state that professionals like health visitors and midwives can easily push you into decisions you later regret and they should really take that into consideration.

mololoko · 22/05/2009 15:23

passmethegin - when you are told you are starving your baby, your baby is screaming with hunger after trying to feed for hours and your midwife reassures you that you'll only be topping up for a day or two, it would take a lot more knowledge about bf than i had then to assert myself. my mw phoned my dh at work and told him to come home immediately with bottles, a steriliser and cartons of formula. and i didn't know any better. i was in a right state.

luckily, i know a lot more about bf now, and i hope that'll help me if/when i have number 2. it is shocking how little many midwives/HVs know about bf, even when they are very well meaning (which i am sure mine was).

MrsMotMot · 22/05/2009 18:53

Well done for complaining, we don't do it enough. The crap some HCPs spout is unreal and it has such a lasting effect. Like you say you have hopefully prevented her from saying this sort of thing to someone else.

elkiedee · 22/05/2009 22:12

kayzr, sorry that this happened to you and well done for complaining.

And I have experience of being forced into feeding formula and more.

Both my babies were hospitalised and I didn't get the help I actually needed to sort things out first time round, second time I had to really fight for it, and he did end up on top ups but I managed to phase them out again.

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