BF all night getting me down, 14 week old

[dan39]

I am bf and mostly love it but it's not easy...worried about dd at night as she is ending up in with us each night as she won't resettle in cot and i am so TIRED. Any help/advice? In with us is okay except it means i don't sleep properly...what do i do?

poor you. its so tough, my ds is like this. .all i can say is that you will adapt to it. its such a relatively short time in a baby's life.

get some family members to come and do dinners for you and housework etc and just go with the flow.

i know how you feel, my 15 monther still wakes 6 times a night to be bfed

it IS just a phase, though it seems like forever.

I co-slept out of necessity too. 12 - 14 weeks was a tough phase for me iirc. I found that I slept better if I kicked dh out to the spare bed as I was less worried about the baby being rolled on and there was more space then anyway.

Can someone take the baby for you in the daytime so that you can catch up a bit? Dh used to take the baby out in the car and drive around, I found that I could really relax if they were out of the house.

aww dan39, can totally relate to that. I had a nightmare sleeper and it feels awful when you're stuck in the middle.
i will echo others though, that it is such a short time (in hindsight) and you do get used to it after a while.

I ended up taking the side off of our cot and putting it up against the bed, that way I could kind of slide ds2 into it sometimes without waking him too much, he was still close enough that he'd sleep ok, but it gave me more space and I could sleep a bit better.

Do you feed baby lying down? If so, is the lack of sleep because you are frightened with DC in the bed?

It gets easier. My DSs both woke at night - the first had feeds at 10pm (or thereabouts), 3am, and 6am for about 6 months, the second fed at 1am, 4am till over a year (has only just stopped waking for one feed at 4am at 15mths, tbh).

I didn't co-sleep, as I found that I couldn't get comfy in the bed with my LOs (worried about rolling on them, suffocating them etc.), but lots of people do co-sleep successfully, so might be worth posting another thread enquiring about that.

IMHE you have to discipline yourself to getting back to sleep asap once you've done a feed. They can faff about a take a while to settle, but tbh I found that often they would settle well after a feed. Is your LO warm/cool enough, dry/clean (nappy), getting enough milk at each feed (by 14 weeks I was definitely offering both breasts at each feed).

If you've only got the one baby, then definitely try to get your head down for a nap when your LO has a daytime sleep(s), and don't stress about housework etc. That can wait.

If she goes for a longer period of sleep from, say, 7pm-midnight, consider going to bed yourself by 8 or 9 every other day (at least) to make sure you're getting a longer block of sleep at night.

You could try expressing and getting your OH (assuming you are not doing this on your own) to give DD a bottle of EBM the first time she wakes up at night. You could have earplugs and ask your OH to wake you up for the second feed - when you hand over the earplugs and (s)he gets the chance for uninterrupted sleep.

Cut out tea and coffee after lunchtime each day, to make sure you can settle yourself back to sleep after feeds. Try to get out in the daytime to have some exercise and fresh air.

Rest assured that it does get easier. There is no denying that it can be really hard work keeping going - and babies are all different, so yours might suddenly start "going through" next month - or it could be months. However, you are giving your DD a fabulous start, and generally things get easier around 6mths once you start weaning her, and when she starts trying to sit up and shuffle about on her bottom (or whatever method she chooses to get about). Hope you have a good night

Is it possible to have a 'lie in' or go back to bed later in the day. I have an 8 week old and usually latch her on and go back to sleep but am still knackered if I don't have extra sleep in the day!

Dan39, also left a message for you on the thread about not enjoying BFing , hope it helps.

No real advice, just sympathy as my ds2 is about the same age as your dd, am happy to have established exclusive bf after a rough start this time round but am finding it hard as he's started waking much more at night again.

Do you have any routine? Are you demand feeding? I feel lucky in that ds sleeps better at night than during the day, but we do normally change his nappy and offer him a very late evening feed before trying to go to sleep.

I don't have caffeine, I usually go to bed between 9 and 10 - I do kip during the day if I can, its more possible at the wekend when dh is around as during the wek she is less keen on sleeping at home than in the pram.. she is going down at 8 pm and sleeping til 1, 2, 3, or 4ish so yes - I could go to sleep at 9 but its not conducive to good life with dh really...

I am not at all averse to co-sleeping if we can do it safely - I went to buy bed guards today but shop was shut so could not - I don't want her on the inside as dh might not be as aware as me, and am anxious about her being on the outside in case she learns to roll (I think its imminent)and falls off the bed. I feed her on my side so i can sleep too...but then when she drops off I am anxious about her being squished/falling off so I don't sleep..but if I put her back in cot (at end of bed) she wakes and cries so i start the whole cycle again...

Better night last night as I kept her with me, I am kinda thinking co-sleeping is the way forward. I am hapy to feed on demand; I DO want some evening time with dh - a few hours together before bed is really nice, and tbh I am worried keeping her up will piss her off or change things - she goes to bed at 8ish largely out of her own actions, we never made the decision to do this. I know this is a short period in my life so I am willing to do whatever suits her really.

Thank you all for your advice/support.