Breastfeeding, weaning and nursery. Would appreciate thoughts please (quite long)

[eclairea]

I wouldd really appreciate some advice on this please. DS1 is now 7 months, was fully breastfed until we started weaning at 6 months. He is taking to food (mashed up stuff and finger food) really well, weight gain is steady.

At 6 months he was feeding (roughly) 7 times in 24hrs. I fed on demand but mostly it worked out at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, 10pm, 3am (all times could vary by 1hour or so). Since starting solids he now has 6 milk feeds and 3 meals, so roughly

8am milk, 9am breakfast, 11.30 milk, 12.30 lunch, 4.30 milk, 5.30 tea, 7.30 milk, 10.30 milk, 4am milk.

I think he is taking a bit less milk from me than he used to (I feel less hungry) and I would really like to drop the 4am feed, so am trying to limit the time for that (last night was 10 mins).

I had planned to return to work when he is one, at which point I assumed he would want/need breastfeeding (if at all) morning and night (ie 7am and 7pm) which would be fine. However a nursery place has come up early so we have decided to start settling him in from 9 months, with a view to him going 2 days a week at 10 months and building up from there. Which means he will be away from me for longer slightly earlier than I thought. He used to take a bottle (for expressed breast milk top ups) fine until 5 months, when he started refusing it and we didn't push it.

So (thank you if you have got this far!) what sort of feeding pattern can I expect/coax him into at 9/10 months? I get really confused by the 'your baby should still have 500ml of breastmilk/formula at 1yr' because obviously without expressing I have very little control over how much milk he takes, only the frequency I can offer it. Is it feasible he would be fine with 7am, 7pm and 10pm (if necessary) at 10 months, or should I prepare myself for needing to express (or offer formula, not terribly keen on either) for 1 day feed, or for two? And how is best to reduce the day feeds? Should I offer snacks and or water instead of one feed and bring the other forward and see how it goes?

Basically am a bit stressed about starting nursery earlier than I thought he would, even though I am certain a more gradual approach will actually be easier than 2 weeks settling in and then 4/5days straight away at 1yr. So would appreciate help/support!

At 7 months (I stopped bf ds1 at 8 months) DS1 fed first thing in the morning sometimes in the afternoon and then before bed and sometimes he would have one feed in the night so I think you would be fine for him to go now. I didn't ever worry about the amount of milk ds1 got when I was bf because I fed on demand so figured he must be taking what he needed.

HTH

I wouldn't worry too much: at this age, I WAS expressing a bottle of milk for my DD to take to nursery, but that was because I found expressing very easy and my boobs would explode if I didn't. So she took a bottle in and drank that at 'bottle time'.

If he's eating okay, and you are comfortable going through the day without expressing, then he might well be fine with just water and food at nursery. He will probably be very busy!

I always found that mine wanted a breastfeed when I picked her up! For reassurance I suppose - so we would have a ten-minute snuggle in the car and she would feed and watch me while I talked to her. [sniff] It was a nice way of reuniting.

I wouldn't worry about trying to drop the 4 a.m. feed just yet - he is probably hungry and it's easier to feed and go back to sleep that worrying about faffing around at this age. But it's a personal thing I suppose.

DO you have to start nurdery 2 months earlier? Not sure it will take that long to settle him in. Both my DSs started nursery later, at 17-18 months and had several settling in sessions, but not over 2 months.
I ask as it's recommended that milk is your baby's main source of nutrition for the first 12 months and so 3 milk feeds a day may not be enough.
Both mine were breastfed on demand and neither dropped down to morning and bedtime feed till well after a year, even though they both ate solids well from 6-7 months.

My DS2 is 8months old now and he is BF. his day is a bit like this (although times vary up to about an hour either way)

6am - BFeed
7.30am - breakfast
10am - cup of cows milk (about 75mls)and snack
12.30 - lunch with water
3pm - cup of cows milk (about 75mls) with snack
4pm - BFeed
5.30pm - Tea with water
7pm - BFeed then bed
11pm - 4oz bottle of hipp formula
3am - BFeed

I started back at work 2 days a week when DS was 5 months. In theory he had a bottle of expressed milk on those 2 days, but in reality he refused it and just waited for me to return home. I used to pop home at lunch time and feed him on those days he refused the bottle. On days when I wasn't working he popped back to his regular routine with no ill effects.

I went back to work full time when he was 10 months and he just did without breastmilk and had a feed when I picked him up.

I'm now on maternity leave with DS2 and DS1 is feeding more than ever, which suggests to me that the little chaps are far more adaptable than we give them credit so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

i meant to add that llareggub - when i'm working, DS2 will refuse bottles and only drink cows milk out of a beaker. he will take a bottle from DH at night but thats about it. thankfully i only work 2 days a week 7.30am til 2pm and when i change jobs in a couple of weeks its 3 nights a week 6pm til midnight.

I think establised breastfeeding is far more resiliant than we think

DS1 had 4 milk feeds a day at 7 months and 3 milk feeds a day from about 9 months, I think. Ds2 completely refused a bottle or cup so when I went back to work when he was 10 months he used to feed at about 6am and about 7:30pm, he had no more than few sips of juice from a cup in between. He was fine, never fed in the night. He used to make up the calories by having a late 4th meal of porridge...

Thanks v much everyone that made me feel a lot less stressed! I think I will delay starting nursery until 9 months, and for the first month aim to be able to pick him up at 4, and try to gauge whether he wants a milk feed then. Feeling confident about it is half the battle I am sure!