Please tell me how I can teach my toddler not to feed to sleep?

[alittleteapot]

She's 22 months and I've been a very happy extended bf-er. She's always needed lots of parenting to sleep (buggy, car or boob basically) and - apart from a couple of traumatic attempts at doing otherwise - I've been good to go with the flow.

I'm now pregnant again and she has pretty much nightweaned in that time - last night she slept through for the first time in her life. I think my milk supply is pretty much nil now to be honest. But she's still needing to suck to get to sleep at night. A few weeks ago I felt like the lessening supply was pushing her to learn on her own - she would push off and lie for a bit before crashing out. But now we're back to full on "feeding" to sleep. I'm really not enjoying it any more and it seems to take ages to get her off. I come out of her room feeling grumpy and knackered.

I'm happy to keep bfing a bit - a feed at bedtime and if she's had a bump. I can see it might be nice for her to still have some milk when no. 2 comes. But I think I need to stop the feeding to sleep now. Apart from anything else, it would not be good if the first time she had to go to sleep without my help was the night I had to go to hospital to have the new baby.

So. That's my story, now please tell me your top tips!

Thanks

I don't have any direct experience but have you looked at the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution"? It might have some helpful suggestions. I am sure it has quite a big section on gently stopping feeding to sleep.

Good luck with it all!

Have you not been out and left dh to it - for 22 months?!

I expect if you weren't there he could manage to cuddle/stroke/sing/pat her to sleep?

No gagarin! Haven't been out for 22 months except with her or leaving her at home but awake. To be honest I'm not that bothered about going out - it's more that I'd like a bit of clear evening time at home. She completely freaks out if it's not me - we've had a few tries with dh who she adores and she just completely freaks. Him getting her off with a cuddle etc seems a long way off.

helms, I do have NCSS from when she was a little baby. Never worked for us but I will have another look to see if there are chapters particularly relevant to her current age and stage.

There is also a NCSS for toddlers.
Never read it though.

Yeah I heard that, might try the library. Have heard it's pretty similar.

Just bumping this in case anyone has personal experience. dd is starting to sleep through so it's just the getting down we need to crack. Can't be that difficult but seems like a mountain!

The thing is, it's not even seeming very effective. She's taking ages to get to sleep at the mo - but I'm wondering if that might be because she's ready to drop her nap, but 22 months seems a bit early for that. Hmm, perhaps I'll start a sleep topi

Yeah, I think that'll be easier now she's starting to sleep through. too easy to lie in after lots of night wakings...

one more bump to see if anyone has cracked this and how!

I was going to suggest googling Pantley Pull-Off, but if you have NCSS then it's in there. For us this led at first to a paranoid DD (7 mo) who would clamp on when she felt herself falling asleep, but poss worth a go? What has helped us a bit (but poss too late for you if night-weaned?) is night feeds at a slightly awkward angle, with me turned away a bit more so she has to work to keep boob in her mouth and it falling out if she falls asleep. This seems to work better than if I break the seal and move away from her - last week or so she has been spitting boob out and turning away rather than sleeping with it in her mouth and waking if moved. Haven't yet progressed from this point though!

My dd has been at that spitting out and turning away stage a few times and I've thought it boded well, then a couple of weeks later, like now, we'll be back to full blown feeding to sleep. (Followed, sometimes, like now, by other hand clamping onto other nipple and refusing to let go even when seemingly fast asleep. .)