9wk baby doesn't 'demand' bf - losing my confidence! long - sorry

[christie00]

My 9wk dd has never really demanded a bf in the way my ds used to - she was 9lb13oz at birth (c/s) and latched on straightaway but just nibbled a lot for the first week or 2. Had a lot of problems with ds when newborn and had to supplement and dual pump like mad for a couple of weeks (we were kept in hospital) but when he eventually got the hang of it he fed like a champ till he self-weaned at 13months - I got pregnant again the following month and thought I knew it all about bf'ing(!) Presumed I was doing fine with dd, even though she seemed to be nibbling, as I was letting her feed whenever she seemed interested even if not for long, but having had the probs with ds had nothing to compare first couple of weeks to (IYSWIM?).

Then it became apparent she wasn't regaining birthweight very quickly and hvs started telling me I was going to have to top her up etc - I begged for a bit more time and did a weekend of 'extreme feeding' (felt like forcefeeding) and in 3 days she had put enough on to satisfy hv and avert threat of supplementing! Following week she put on 7oz but week later lost 2 oz (though on different scales) - everyone I see giving me different advice: switch sides v often, don't switch sides at all, try to add extra night feed even if not interested, let her decide when to feed...

Finally decided to try not to let her go more than 3hrs between feeds (talked to a bfc and she agreed that plan was fine) and for a couple of weeks she has gained ok (am getting obsessed with weighing, I know) but she isn't very enthusiastic at feeding - till I slept through my alarm a few days ago and she ended up going 5 hrs and then feeding strongly for about an hour (usually about 25 mins and not very strong sucking). So for a few days I have been trying to make sure she has something at least every 4 hours and every time she feeds strongly and for about an hour.

If I go with my instincts I would say I think she is getting more milk this way and just stick with it but have completely lost my confidence and just need to bounce off other people I suppose!

BTW she is beautifully alert, interactive, clear skin, bright eyes (sounds like a dogfood ad!), plenty of wet/yellow poo nappies, sleeps like a dream - just a bugger at gaining weight! (11lb 1oz now)

Any reassurance, anyone?

No real advice, but my DS1 was a bit like this - never demanded to be fed, would sleep for hours if I let him and was slow to regain his birthweight.

I, like you, only let him go 4 hrs max between feeds, and he got back on track pretty quickly, so that sounds a sensible approach to me.

My Ds also fed really quickly, 5 - 10 mins max, and only ever one side at each feed.

Best of luck

It sounds like you are doing everything right, you just need to be told that!

It's just as hard with number 2 sometimes as they are all so different.

My hv told me once that as ds2 fed little and often he was never really very hungry which didn't allow his stomach to get really full. I made him wait 4 hours like you are and it worked well.

You sound like a lovely mum, she's lucky to have you.

christie, you are working very hard at this.

You are doing the right thing in feeding her more often. Making a baby go longer between feeds is absolutely the opposite of what you should do if you need to increase his intake of milk.

Jellyrolly - you changed your baby's behaviour, and he tolerated it ok, but it would not be helpful to do this for a baby where there were weight issues.

Frequent feeding, from both breasts, increases supply as well as intake. Some babies are placid and laid back, and have to be encouraged to feed often and not sleep for ages - if they are kept close to the mother they tend not to go a long time, and this can help.

My baby JUST like Jojay's. If I offered the breast more often she fought and struggled to get off. Three hourly was as much as she wanted. We were both happier when I just followed her cues. Some babies just not keen on sucking I suppose.

My 6 wk dd is the same. She happily went 9 hrs without a feed at 10 days old so I started clock watching/ alarm setting so she was having a feed every 3 hrs. In the past week I've tried to return to demand feeding but she'll happily go 6 hrs without wanting a feed so I do a daytime schedule from 7am - 11pm and leave her at night. She also only feeds for 10 mins at a time except a bit of a cluster feed from 4-6pm.

Luckily we've had no weight issues

Thanks all for the support and letting me know I'm not alone! I'll just keep on feeding her often as I know I can get weight on her like that, I just hate the whole routine/by the clock thing - but am lucky she is pretty much 'worn' by me all day and night so have chance to get it sorted hopefully.