Remind what 12 week olds should do!

[fruitstick]

It's not really a problem and I'm not angst ridden but I can't for the life of me remember what 12 week old babies should do (apart from what that book says and my baby is definitely not doing that!).

DS2 is exclusively breastfed, and feeds really well in the daytime, every 3 to 4 hours and has good naps in his cot/pram/car sear. He settles after his 6:30 feed but then wakes up again at 8ish and is awake until about 9:30/10 and wants to feed constantly, at which point he falls asleep with us in front of tv. He is still waking once or twice a night.

I know I should try to settle him in his room but, to be honest, I don't fancy spending my entire evenings in a darkened room and it is easier to cuddle him in front of the tv

I suspect he sleeps too much during the day (has 3 naps of about 90 mins)

I'm not expecting him to sleep through (although it would be nice) but I would like to have our evenings back a little. I've tried giving him formula in the evenings but he refuses a bottle. Maybe that he's refusing formula or (I suspect) he's not actually hungry and just wants comfort.

So, my question is ........... should he still be cluster feeding like this is the evening? Am I expecting too much from him.

Please don't come on here just to tell me your baby slept from 7 til 7 from 3 weeks

I think a feed at 6.30 followed by one more at about 9.30/10 is roughly what he should be doing and then still a feed in the night (unless you are perfect and can get him off that!). I dont think he should be cluster feeding, but boys can be very hungry. Some people say if you dont get them on the bottle within the 1st 6 weeks it can be a struggle so that might be your bottle issue - just keep trying with that.
You maybe need to be a little stricter with him and yourself! Having said that, they all do what they are supposed to when you do get strict, I enjoyed no.2 and spent much too much time with him in the living room infront of the tely, but when we decided it was time for our evenings back I had to be a bit tougher and it worked (we did it at about 9 weeks i think), 3 tough days, then all sorted.
Oh and 3x 90 min naps is fine (ideally only about 4 hours a day at 12 weeks)

Thanks Friday, I think you're right. It probably is just me being soft with him as I spend so much time concentrating on my 3 year old during the day.

When you did get tough what did you do? Keep him in his room from 7pm? not feed him until 10pm?

Fruitstick - my little one (13 weeks) normally naps away in the day time too - but around 4 or 5 naps of between 40 minutes and an hour - and goes down at 6.30/7ish waking once in the night normally for a feed - but then he's still feeding every 2 and a half hours or so during the day (demand fed rather than on a routine) and he's a pretty chunky monkey. Oh, and he wont even contemplate a bottle too...

It may be that if your little one is feeding every 3 or 4 hours he's not getting enough milk in the day which is why he's up in the evenings cluster feeding away and up twice in the night - or it may just be that he likes having the quality time with just you and him in the evenings. Perhaps you could try getting more feeds in during the day by feeding every 3 hours instead of 3 to 4 and that might sort out the cluster feeding? Also, could you try getting your DP to settle him when he wakes at 8 (as if the milk lady isnt there, he may decide just to go back to sleep till his 10pm feed)? That's what we ended up doing when getting DS1 to drop his 4.30am feed which was killing me when I went back to work- as the previous poster said, a few hard nights but then no problem any more.