Breastfeeding 7 day old baby - exhausted, feel like I am getting it wrong (long sorry)

[littleduck]

I am in tears as I type.

I have finally got my 7 day old baby to settle after a feeding period of 1hr 15 mins, including winding and change of dirty clothes and nappy. I am dreading her waking up again for another feed as I am still feeling exhausted from feeding her from 10pm until just before 2am this morning. She wasn't actually swallowing milk throughout, quite a bit of the time she was just sucking at the nipple, I think for comfort.

We tried to ease her off a few times and when we did she just screamed until put back on. Once or twice she did come off by herself but wouldn't settle and after being put back in her little moses basket she just screamed until back at the breast. Eventually she fell asleep in bed next to me at around 2, dp put her back into her crib. We all slept until just after 6 when she fed again.

My breasts felt totally empty from around midnight, very soft and squashy, they never feel particularly full and hard like they did when my milk came in last Friday. I am worried I am not making enough milk for her hence she fed so long last night just to try and get what she needs.

In desperation dp went out at 1am to get some formula which we could feed her if needed although it didn't come to that - still have the formula in case though. I don't want to use it but feel as if she needs more milk than I have to give her. should I top up with the formula in the evening, say?

Midwife called yesterday and weighed the baby who is nearly back at her birthweight. she does plenty of wet and dirty nappies so she must be getting something from me but worried it is not enough.

Baby was very mucousy and slightly jaundiced when born, very sleepy and had to wake her for feeds, currently following hospital advice to feed at least every 3hrs and more if she wants it. Usually still have to wake her for feeds, she will feed and then comfort suck for a bit before settling to sleep.

Should I offer one breast at a feed or both? should she spend a certain amount of time on one breast before being offered the other? When she was on for 4 hrs last night I had to keep switching between the two, too sore otherwise

I also don't know if I am doing the right things about winding and changing, usually she will come off the breast and then want more after a few moments (kind of like having main course and pause before pudding) so I wind her in between times and change her nappy then, should I only wind and change her once she has finished pudding so to speak? If I do it that way round she does not seem to settle.

I feel awful because I am not really enjoying her or enjoying being a mum at the moment. I am worrying every time she wakes about how long she will feed for and how long it will take me to settle her to sleep afterwards. I know I shouldn't stress as she will pick up on it but I am finding it hard to relax and cope with all this.

Sorry for long ramble, too tired to think coherently

any advice really appreciated, at end of tether.

x

Littleduck -poor you, you sound very weary. I don't think you're doing anything wrong though. Some babies are very 'sucky' and you don't say whether or not you have tried a dummy. My DS fed every 1.5-2 hours for weeks, and I was worn out, but he did love to suck on a dummy, and although I worried that I would make a rod for my own back later, he grew out of it naturally on his own, rejecting the dummy aged about 1. Maybe when she takes her break and you wind her, you could try giving her the dummy instead of the breast afterwards.

Regarding whether to feed on both sides or not, I think they recommend that you empty one breast before moving to the other (and you might not need to move to the other if baby gets enough from one). That way, the baby gets to the richer hind milk, which is also more satisfying.

Your milk supply may have dipped if you're very tired, so getting as much rest as you can (I know it can seem impossible, but try to nap when she does) will help.

I'm sure others will be along soon with more/better advice. Hang in there.

ahh littleduck heres a (((((hug!!XX)))))

poor you you sound soo down, its so tirering in the first few days, i remember i just used to stay in bed all day!, first thing dont worry about your boobs feeling empty-even though they feel it, they are not!, and you might find that baby preferes feeding when they feel empty like that, as this is when they are getting the really fatty creamy milk!! i dont know about anyone else but me personally i dont think my boobs ever went back to feeling really hard and full like when my milk came in? unless you know i hadnt fed from one side for ages!!!

you should be proud you are doing all of the right things plenty of wet/dirty nappies happy baby!!

try not feel sad, and the best bit of advice that my mum gave me 'try to sleep when baby sleeps!'

hope you ok hope that helps!((((hugs!)))

I'm no expert so forgive me if I haven't got my facts straight but .........

You are not doing anything wrong, I had exactly the same thing with both my babies. In the early stages most babies are nocturnal and my babies' awake period was always 11pm til 2am which was soul destroying. Try and keep the room as dark as possible and the daytimes as light as possible and soon they get the hang of it.

Also, I have been told, that you have your most efficient milk production during the night which is why many babies feed for long periods. Even if you think they are not getting anything their sucking is stimulating your supply which is vital at this early stage, so I'm afraid giving formula or a dummy in the night could be counter productive.

I also vote for sleeping as much as possible during the day. Also, have you tried feeding lying down? It depends on your views on co-sleeping and the baby may be a bit little yet but I mastered this at about 8 weeks and has been a godsend.

It's really hard to begin with but try not to worry, you are doing a great job and within a week or 2 hopefully breastfeeding will feel great for you and your baby.

Hi Littleduck

Another non expert here, but just wanted to say congratulations, and hang in there if you can, you are doing really well. No one tells you quite how difficult breastfeeding can be in the first couple of weeks, but it will get easier.

I am currently feeding DD2, who is about 10 days older than your baby. I could have written everything you have, especially the long feeds - DD feeds at least twice a night and the minimum period i am awake is an hour, but often much longer whilst i resettle her. Don't worry, your breasts aren't empty, but sometimes at this stage the speed of flow changes over the course of the feed and baby is still learning to deal with this. My lo can get frustrated when the flow slows down unless she is sleepy. The important thing to remember at this stage is baby needs to feed lots and lots to stimulate your supply - not because she isn't getting enough.

At night I follow the same pattern as you winding and changing mid feed, otherwise DD falls asleep half way through and doesn't have a full feed. Sometimes this means 2 nappy changes, which extends the whole feed somewhat. I tend to feed off the same breast until DD has come off twice, then if she is still rooting or unsettled offer the other.

Have you had your latch checked? If feeds don't start getting a bit quicker then it might be worth getting in touch with a bf counsellor to check its ok. Finally, last time Lasinoh was my saviour - really helped with sore nipples - do you have some?

The other thing to remember is it is really, really early days. Its totally ok to find the first few weeks tricky, its a lot of slog and little reward to start with. But it will get better, sounds like you are doing a fab job

I had a sucky baby. Poor latch at the beginning gave me horrendous nipple damage and I couldn't bear to let him just get on with it (luckily he gained weight well) so would take him off the breast when he stopped sucking.

With ds it seemed to be the physical contact he craved as much as the actual breast. I gave him my little finger to suck and held him close to me most of the time. We found that at night he would settle to sleep lying on my chest but not in his moses basket, so we went along with that. Not the best rest in the world but better than hearing him scream or my nipples falling off! He started to sleep by himself by about 6 weeks.

Ideally I would have fed on demand and for as long as he wanted, but I needed to compromise for my own sake so went with the above. It would have been different if he'd not been gaining weight/had heavy wet nappies etc.

It sounds like you're doing really well. It's difficult to have confidence in your body when we're so fixated on ounces, but babies don't just cry when they're hungry and bf isn't just about milk. There's other ways to satisfy that closeness though if they work for you.

Oh, and agree with nomore. It's such early days and things can change very quickly. Don't think god this is the next 6 months, or even the next 6 weeks.

Just a ((( hug ))) - everyone else has said it so well. These early days are scary and exhausting but it does get much, much easier, I promise you. A lot of the sucking is to stimulate your supply, but boobs are very clever and it will all work itself out within the first few weeks.

Have you tried carrying her close to you in a wrap? My little boy HAD to be held ALL the time when he was little, and a kari-me wrap saved my sanity and gave me my hands back! The close contact and motion might comfort her enough that she doesn't need to be on the boob quite so much.

Are there any breastfeeding support groups in your area? It can be helpful to speak to other mums with slightly older babies to help you see the light at the end of what can sometimes feel like a very lonely tunnel in these very early days.

I posted in a similar way two weeks ago about my newborn and got some great advice - basically to follow your babys cues and feed on demand, use both breasts and keep changing. I've put a link to my post as there was some expert advice that may help you. My baby is now three and half weeks old, feeds for hours on end, screams when put down but will happily sleep once hes fallen off the breast (i have been feeding lying down at night as its the only way either of us can get any sleep) most importantly I have accepted that this is what my baby needs right now, I am giving him the best start in life and it won't be like this forever. The best advice I had was to send my dh out with lo in a sling - I manage an hour or two sleep and they have bonded brilliantly.
Keep telling yourself that your lo is growing rapidly every day - you are doing an amazing job and all a mum can do to give their baby what they need.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/740995-How-many-feeds-a-day-I-seem-to -be-feeding

Hope this helps. As everyone else says, you are doing brilliantly x

Hi Littleducks

Sorry you are finding things so hard at the moment, but you are doing a brilliant job. At this point your baby is sucking frequently to build your milk supply up to her needs, at 7 days old she is only a tiny little thing with a tiny little stomach, which needs filing frequently. Feeding on demand like you are doing is really the best thing for your breastfeeding relationship.

This of course doesn't stop it from being really tyring. Don't worry about your breasts being soft now, they have adjusted to your milk supply so don't need to be hard, you will always have milk in them, it just might not feel that way. Switching breasts is fine, I don't think you need a certain amount of time on one, but some mothers find that they feed on one side and then when it feels like it has come to a natural conclusion or the baby stops sucking they try them on the other breast. If you only feed on one side remember to put her on the other side next time.

It really does sound like you are doing a fab job, she is back up to her birthweight and has plenty of wet/dirty nappies you really are doing ok!

Do you have a sling you could use to settle her to sleep after her feed? or when you feel you can't feed for much longer even!

Hello Littleduck, I remember being in the same boat as you and I promise you it will change! If you can try feeding laying down, and get your partner to help position baby for you, this is much more restful and if you both doze off, so much the better. TRy squishing a pillow in the small of your back and one in between your knees for support. Try doing this is the day time too, also if you have a long fabic sling, the ones that are just stips of fabric, you can feed in those, just wear a shirt you can open easily. Good luck, you are doing briliantly, and your baby is gettiogn everything it needs from you. x