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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Crisis of confidence........I'm thinking of giving my nearly 6mo old a bottle of formula at bedtime in the vain hope it will make him sleep!

35 replies

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 18:12

I was soooo determined that this time around my DC would be 100% breast fed. We are three days short of 26 weeks and in that time I have had only a handful of full night's sleep because DH has given him ebm through the night.

DH is away tonight and I'm on my own with 3 DC. I'm knackered again and the thought of another night with three feeds is making me want to cry.

I am not against formula as a choice, as my DS1 was FF after 6 weeks, but I reallllllly wanted to avoid it this time round, as I hate the way it is marketed, but....on the other hand; sleep.

I know it isn't a given that he will sleep through, but I'm at the stage where I'll try anything. My other two were both sleeping through by eight weeks; one FF the other BF.
And if I do give him some formula will it make a mockery of my peer supporter status and my wish to start my BFC training soon?

help.

OP posts:

unfitmother · 29/04/2009 18:17

Sorry to hear you're so knackered. Well done for BFing until 6mths.
Do what you feel you need to, one bottle of FF does not mean you are giving up.
Good luck and sleep well!

chequersmate · 29/04/2009 18:20

What unfitmother said [happy]

chequersmate · 29/04/2009 18:20

[happy]??

Sorry

Original poster

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 18:20

No, I know that, but I had set myself this goal of not using formula at all this time around (DD had the odd bottle from around 4 months).

I don't want to feel I'm letting myself down about it, especially if it doesn't work!

OP posts:

chequersmate · 29/04/2009 18:21

Why did you set that goal? Can you revisit why you made the decision and see if you feel any differently now?

Not trying to encourage you either way but there's no harm in looking at things again.

littlelamb · 29/04/2009 18:23

It's a very individual thing, and well done for feeding for so long
My ds is 10 months old and still bf, but for the last month he has been waking for feeds about 3 times a night and it has made me feel rotten tbh. The level of tiredness is unbelievable. I was convinced to try giving a bottle, in the belief that it would make him sleep better. I was impressed by how much he drank but it made no difference whatsoever to how often he woke up My dd (also fully bf) was sleeping through much earlier and had no trouble with teething so ds's sleep problems have come as a bit of a shock. I don't honestly think ds is hungry when he wakes up, but I do think he is having real difficulty with his teeth- I gave him some medicine last night and he slept from 1 til 8am which is the longest stretch he has had in weeks. Is it possible he is a bit under the weather?

iwantitnow · 29/04/2009 18:23

I would try gradual retreat sleep training rather than formula. It worked well but took aabout a month to work for my DD described in No Cry Sleep Solution or on the web. You have a sleep problem not a feeding problem.

TheProvincialLady · 29/04/2009 18:23

It won't make a mockery of anything IMO but I bet it doesn't work. If you try and it doesn't, how will you fee? If you try and it does work, what will you do? Worth thinking about before you try it...and I completely understand why you would. I tried it with DS1 as he never slept but it made no difference I'm afraid.

moondog · 29/04/2009 18:23

Well, if you don't want to let yourself down then don't do it.

What can you do to make things better and easier tonight?

Sod a cooked dinner, give everyone toast.

Have a shower before bed and go early with a cup of tea, a good book and a hotty. (If anyone needs a bath/shower, stick them in with you.I still do this to save time.

Will do you all good.

Hang in there DAISY, you are doing great.

wastingmyeducation · 29/04/2009 18:24

You know it makes no difference. But you feel you have to try something, so that you can say, 'well I've tried everything I could'.

Try something else I say. A banana for instance!

DS dropped to only waking two/three times a night at 6 months old, so you may be lucky and drop to one or none.

In that week he started solids (blw), we moved him to his own room and raised the end of his cot with cotblocks. Oh, and put him in long-sleeved vests under his sleepsuit.

littlelamb · 29/04/2009 18:25

@ hotty moondog! Do you mean her dp or a water bottle?

moondog · 29/04/2009 18:25

Easch ot their own I suppose, but a bottle does me just fine.

Original poster

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 18:40

well I was planning on my own bottle later anyway, but not sure if DH would approve of the hotty . The older two have had pizza and smarties cupcakes for tea and I'm having takeaway later!

thanks guys, I know it's unlikely to work and yes I suppose I am trying the "well I've tried everything" scenario.

We've tried him in his own room for a week......he slept through on one night (so i know the little blighter can do it!). Moved him back to the sidecar cot as getting him back to sleep is easier if he isn't fully awake.

not sure if being right next to me is making him wake, as he will be out for the count, but usually wakes up and makes feed me noises as soon as I go to bed. He did seem to sleep better away from me though.

I set the goal chequersmate as the more research I have done into formula the worse it makes me feel; the shameless marketing and lack of good information about ingredients, blatant lies etc. And yes there is a bit of me that feels guilty for not succeeding with DS1 and I kind of felt this was my last chance to put that right; although I know that makes no real sense at all and not giving DS2 formula isn't going to negate the formula that DS1 had (am I making sense or just sounding like a loon?)

OP posts:

moondog · 29/04/2009 18:48

You don't sound liek a loon no.

I do think you are a tad unrealistic to expect him to sleep all night thoguh.He's only tiny! Have him by you in cot, whip out for a quick feed then back in.

popsycal · 29/04/2009 18:50

as a veteran of nn sleeping breast fed babies, i will save you some stress
it dies nit work

popsycal · 29/04/2009 18:50

does not even

ilovemydogandMrObama · 29/04/2009 18:54

Daisy, The thing is, am not sure that formula will make them sleep though...

There just doesn't seem to be a pattern, at least with my friends. For instance, a friend's DD was sleeping through at 6 weeks. Exclusively b/f'ed.

Another friend is f/fing and her DS doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.

Oh, and one thing is that when they wake up in the middle of the night, it can be that they are thirsty. I only realized this recently

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/04/2009 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hannahlouhoo · 29/04/2009 19:20

can you cluster feed from about 7ish, pop him on every hour or half hour until his bedtime, put him down in his own cot. Then just before you go to bed give him a dream feed? I used to lift my ds out of the cot in the dark sit on the floor and then give him another feed. I used to then get a precious 6 hours (ish) uninteruped sleep, it also reduced night sleeps from 3+ to 1/2 at most.

Worked for me, so hth

Original poster

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 20:29

well the clever little spud made the decision for me by falling asleep at 6.15 and I had to wake him up to feed him before bedtime. He was so sleepy that to try and get him to take his first ever bottle of formula would have been a bit unfair (he obviously knew what I was talking about )

We don't do a dream feed, because he usually wakes for the first time at around 10.30/11, although he has been stretching this a bit.....so fingers crossed it gets longer and longer.

I know it doesn't work really; I have read enough on here to know that!

It all went swimmingly and I was able to feed him, put him down and then get the other two in bed...all was quiet by 7.30 which is a bit of a recorde these days (who needs men, eh? )

moondog, that is pretty much our sleeping arrangement, except most nights he never quite makes it back onto his cot! I know he is still teeny......I just wish he was a teeny baby who slept more than he does, or had some sort of discernible pattern; it's the randomness that gets me sometimes twice, sometimes three times, sometimes four or five a night.

And, if we have a night where DS1 is up because he has wet the bed, and DD is having night terrors I feel like I've only shut my eyes and they are rudely opened again. DH and I have shared a bed about a dozen times since DS2 was born and as for a bit of the other.......well I can count on one hand how often we have even got remotely enthusiastic and the last time we had intercourse was probably a year ago

This is payback I suppose for being smug about our two lovely, happy, sleepy through the night, babies. This one was like velcro for the first three months, was nocturnal until he was 8 weeks, had really bad wind that he had to suck on something to get up/down and wouldn't take a dummy so he was permanently attached to either mine or DH's little finger for 12 weeks. He makes up for it in his general gorgeousness and sunny disposition though

OP posts:

dan39 · 29/04/2009 21:38

Daisy hi - 6 months already, goodness! Good luck with this - I think too you should stick to your guns and not go down the formula route as it is seemingly so random.

I am now 11 weeks on with dh. I struggled with bfing but got lots of support and solace from my NCT group as we all seemed to be having the same problems and issues. Around week 6 or so, I watched them all with dismay as they one by one supplemented bfing with a night bottle of formula 'to get them to sleep through' - I know these are individual decisions and I wouldn't dream of criticising people for decisions about bfing and ffing choices, (I know society does that enough for us), but I was kinda dismayed about the sleeping aim as I know from experience and from on here that it's not magic. If it was I would have done it weeks ago too! And true to form, it hasn't really worked as a magic wand and we are all still randomly being woken whether bfing or ffing.

Hope you get it sorted in some way soon tho and you and dh get bnack to the hotty action!

Original poster

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 22:54

hi dan . I was just wondering how you were doing the other day. Sounds like you have got through the difficulties and are doing fine now?

IKWYM about the sleeping; it's seen as the golden benchmark of parenting isn't it? and the second question random strangers ask after "is he/she good?" (wtf ) is "Is he/she sleeping through?"

I think maybe that having had two who did sleep through I am slightly shell shocked this time around, although I know that those two were the exception rather than the norm.

I've not had a peep out of him tonight; maybe he is settling down at last?

OP posts:

Caz10 · 29/04/2009 23:09

Just to add my tuppenceworth - dd is 17mths and still doesn't sleep - bf. Friends baby is 17mths and still doesn't sleep - ff. Other friend's baby 9mths - bf -DOES sleep. I've given up and just think it's bloody random! Good luck, and just think how much easier whapping out a boob is than boiling the kettle

elkiedee · 29/04/2009 23:18

I don't think you should feel guilty about giving formula but don't believe in it as a solution to getting babies to sleep through. After failing to bf, we were forced into top ups early on with ds2 but have managed to phase them out since he was about 5/6 weeks old. At 12 weeks on breastmilk he seems to sleep a bit better than ds1 did on formula - usually from around 12 to some time between 5 am and 7 am.

Whatever you decide to do, hope it gets better with the sleeping.

Original poster

LackaDAISYcal · 29/04/2009 23:19

I know Caz....I know. He'll sleep when he is ready.

And if I'm brutally honest, I love having him all warm and curled up next to me, all smelling of toast like babies do

OP posts:

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