7mo DD "holding out" for boob - I'm trying to stop BFing. Any tips?

[titferbrains]

Everything going wrong at the mo with DD not interested in food, taking less at bedtime and more at night, gah MOTHERHOOD IS RUBBISH.

Should I continue bfing (she bites and is incredibly distracted hence stopping, also holiday away from her booked for 3 days in August) or just persevere and wait for her to get better at having bottle only. SHe may be teething as she's chewing her bibs alot but generally she takes first part of feed very well then does start stop thing then refuses to take any more. She only took 3 oz this evening and it's left me on the verge of tears. I know I'm here to feed her but am just so fucking fed up of trying to figure everything out every day.

I would continue bfing if it were me and I wouldnt worry about how much she's taking in a bottle. She's not going to starve herself after all.

Has someone else tried giving her a bottle? I work full time- when I'm at home, DS2 only wants me and regularly "asks" to bf but when I'm at work (I do shifts), he accepts a bottle/cup/whatever's offered without any fuss.

Just go with the flow a bit more and at least with bfing, that's easier rather than faffing around making up bottles and having them wasted.

titferbrains - you sound really down . I hope you have some good support such as dp or close friends or family around you?

I'm not an expert, but I have to say that having bfed 3 DC there were plenty of times when I felt like giving up. I especially felt this with DC1, when it felt like it would never end, and I had pnd. In the end I fed her until 12 months, and my later 2 both self-weaned at around 18 months.

When DD1 started biting, I pinched her nose every time she did it. (I hope I don't get flamed for admitting to this!) It wasn't hard enough to hurt her, but just enough to surprise her, which got her jaws unclamped from around my nipple. I would then put her down somewhere safe, and leave her for 2 minutes, before resuming feed. After a few days she stopped. I felt that those rather draconian steps were better for her than switching her to ff, and it was the only approach anyone suggested - but i wasn't on mn then, there may be better ways!

7 months is fantastic for bfeeding, you've done so well. It usually gets easier from now on, as the LO takes more solids all the time, so if you do persist you might find it improves quite quickly. (3 nights would not be a problem for leaving her if you were still bfeeding in August, btw.)

no-one around to give the bottle. DH works all hours she's awake

Lots of issues around bfing, I'm extremely tired, think supply is now reduced partic. at night as she took a lot of formula last night - and I just don't feel she's getting enough boob to sustain her - what with wanting to crane her neck at every last thing. she is teeny weeny (I've been whinging on other threads about this) and so I'm concerned about weight gain and given that I've wound down my bfing so much.

hedgie - thanks for yr kind reply. What is the best thing to do if I'm still Bfing when I'm away? I don't mind continuing but don't feel confident that she's getting enough from me at the mo. She normally feeds at 2 and 4 and 6 am after 6.30 bedtime but last night she took a 5 oz bottle at 2am and slept till 6am. so feel like bottles sustaining her better and giving me more time to do stuff etc.

titferbrains - if you don't restrict the time/s she feeds, you WILL give her enough. I know as well as anyone that it feels like you're not, but its just the way it works! Supplementing with ff is the thing that could stop you making enough - she needs to be sucking. Bfing IS time consuming, and it sounds like you will need to dedicate some time to re-establishing a really good supply. Obviously, I don't know your circumstances and whether you have that time available.

About bfing when you go away; since she will take bottles you can leave ebm (or formula if you are as dire an expresser as I was) for her. She might be unhappy about it, but its only three days after all. She'll get by on extra solids and sips of water from a cup if necessary. And August is ages away - even if you did need to wean because of your trip, you could do it in July. (With DC2 I weaned just before going away for a long weekend, when he was 15 months. I got home, having not fed at all for 5 days, and by the end of that week he was bfing again!)

hedgie thanks, good thoughts. Am tired and forgetful at the mo and we're struggling with solids so I feel no sooner have I finished getting 3 tsp of porridge down her, it's time to give her another milk feed.... sorry am just feeling knackered and my back aches and I want to be left alone for a bit. off to watch mindless telly and early to bed, will start the day with a smile - hers and mine - tomorrow.

And remember that 6-7 months is often the time when supply settles down - it feels like you're not "full" but the breasts are making just the right amount of milk as the baby is feeding.

I wouldn't be giving up at 7 months - you've done the hard bit! And she might well not be that interested in food for a month or three yet - baby-led weaning is a stress free way to navigate that stuff

(and I'd worry about the August trip in June or July. It's a loooooong way away yet)

yes can you tell I'm a worrier...

If I'm honest I'm also missing the cuddly aspect of bfing, it's not the same when they're not looking at you lovingly, is it?

Have a feeling I'll go on longer, I find the thought of giving up very difficult to stomach.

yes can you tell I'm a worrier...

If I'm honest I'm also missing the cuddly aspect of bfing, it's not the same when they're not looking at you lovingly, is it?

Have a feeling I'll go on longer, I find the thought of giving up very difficult to stomach.

Just to second what ommwardandupwards says - with regard to the feeding, try a bit of finger food, let her feed herself/throw it on the floor, and repeat the MN mantra "Food til 1 is just for fun". I found this incredibly calming!

You have my sympathies, it is so hard. I stopped BF at 8 months for similar reasons to you and it was unbelievably stressful. It was all fine in the end though. One of the lovely things about them getting older is that they get cuddly for their own sake, not just when they are having a feed.

I also agree with finger food and relaxed approach. But I know that as your DD has weight gaining issues it can be more complicated. (Sorry, no experience of this so no advice to offer.)
Re-read your thread and note the difference in how you are describing bfing at the start and in your last post - it seems like its helped you to think about the things you like about bfing.
Keep pop-top bottles of water in every room of your home and swig them often - stay very well hydrated. Eat regularly and get plenty of rest. Start now with an early night! (sorry, bit bossy there!

yes hedgie that's why I come on here. MN has saved my sanity many times...

dustbuster, thanks too, am trying hard to stay calm but am a total foodie and used to be a chef so am struggling to understand why she doesn't love my food or heinz's or plum's etc etc

No advice just sympathy - I'm trying to start mixed feeding my 6 mnth old as am SO tired - just want to be able to leave her for a few hours and have some time to myself and also hope she might stop waking every 2 hours at night - have same prob with DP not around to feed her during the day and don't feel the middle of the night is the time to start wrestling with a bottle. Totally understand how you feel - am also feeling quite down and like a bit of a cr*p mum - thought no.2 would be easier - clearly not! Hope you feel better soon and your dd starts eating a bit more.

Sprogster thanks, had a bit of a bad night here. DD wouldn't go back to sleep after bottle and boob and I went a bit mental started screaming as she wouldn't take calpol which I was wielding like a weapon again and DH came rushing in, I cried and yelled for a bit then calmed down. Poor DD must have been a bit scared to hear mummy making crying noises like hers!

May need to face up to fact that I have a bit of PND. Going to think about things today and have a read around.

I do think that bottles can make a diff at night, I wasn't seeing it before but I tend to think I get an hour of sleep per oz and I think the hardest thing about BFing now is that they fall asleep towards the end of feed at night (or mine does anyway) and because they're sleepy anyway I find it very hard knowing when to stop the feed. Also you just want to go back to bed - I know I've stopped a feed prob too early because of this.

Don't feel crap, this is the hardest thing I've ever done and I've realised like so many others that the reason they don't tell you what it's like is that for the first 6 months at least it just feels like you've made a dreadful mistake!!!

hi, i just wanted to add more support. i went through a really tough phase with DS around 7 months (he's now 9 months). Just give it a little time because the food thing WILL click, and that will really make a huge difference to the breastfeeding schedule.

There were a few weeks where I had no idea what the problem was, he'd wake every couple of hours and want to feed, but then often start screaming during the feed. You think, ok, teething, but calpol didn't seem to have much effect. Same with food, he'd have a couple bites, then scream.

my sanity eventually came when he got well established on his meals and cut BFing to 4-6 feeds in 24 hours (plus one bottle of formula), from what had been more like 8-12 feeds.

We also reduced the night feeds to just one between the 11pm bottle and morning (defined as anything after 6am), around 3am. About three weeks ago we dropped the 3am feed and things feel SO much easier now.

I agree you've done the hard part of BFing so why not try to stick with it for now? I am approaching it on a sort of month by month basis.

good luck.