Does it get better?

[abizmum]

I am completely new to all this. My daughter is 5 days old & while i am really keen to breastfeed i'm really struggling. I'm wondering if i need to keep going & crack it, or are some people just not cut out for it? Will it suddenly click & get better? My nipples are so sore, my boobs so heavy i can't lift them. My daughter wants to feed on me for hours & hours & i'm exhausted. She's not a great sleeper & won't settle in the crip or moses basket. Is it worth me carrying on? I really want to but i'm not sure how much longer i can give it. Please help!

it does get better, I promise, with the odd regression when they have a growth spurt.
You don't need to make any decisions, just keep going as long as yuou feel you can and you will either get to the stage where you suddenly realise life is easier, or you will need help and get it.
Congratulations on your DD! Is your midwife still coming? Have you mentioned it to her - got her to check your latch? In the first few weeks I used to make a nest on the sofa of pillows and blankets with everything I needed to hand, and then doze while and after DS was feeding - be careful and make your own decisions about co-sleeping but I was sitting up with him in my arms and it helped a lot.

keep going, it becomes so so easy... newborns are unsettled anyway, you'd be just as tired if you changed to bottle feeding

have you tried lansinoh?

To be honest this sounds fairly normal! I had exactly the same with my DC1, and I found that once I got to about 2 weeks, it started to get a little bit less painful, and then at about 3 weeks it was noticeably better (still quite uncomfortable but much more bearable than the teeth-gritting pain at the beginning).

So, I didn't find it "clicked" as such, it just gradually got better until one day I found it hardly hurt at all!

I think they also quite commonly want to feed continuously for ages (mine did) so I would try as hard as you can to get other people to do all the other stuff so you don't have to do anything much other than breastfeed (which is undoubtedly tiring especially after the tiring birth stuff).

Good luck (and congratulations obviously!)

if you're getting engorged stuff a bit of savoy cabbage down your bra - stinks and gets hot but really works! I couldn't believe it!

You're doing so well to keep going in the face of the pain, exhaustion and hormonal madness at this stage!

5 days is so early, there's every chance that things will get easier with time. I second the good advice to get someone to make sure your baby is latched on properly, but for some people breastfeeding is sore at first and it takes time and perseverance to get to that stage when it's easy and comfortable.

The frequent feeding is also normal and you are doing absolutely the right thing to let her feed for long periods if she wants to. At this stage this will stimulate your milk supply and get lots of the good stuff coming so stick with it if you can.

It's tough, incredibly tough, to feel like you can do this when you're so exhausted. But it really is worth keeping at it if it is what you want to do because once you stop feeding, it is very hard to start up again. Make sure you take up each and every offer of a break, housework, food, a hot bath - you deserve all of this - your job is to feed your baby and rest right now, nothing else!

and will be over in 4h18m!

Congratulations on your baby. It is very hard looking after a new baby, worth asking for help - your midwife might be able to put you intouch with a breastfeeding counsellor. Every feed she has is good, just take it one feed at a time. Try to get someone else (dp?) to feed you lots and settle down on the sofa with tv.

Keep on going girl!

You can do it!

I had sore nipples on one boob for about 2 months, didnt give up and as it got better we were enjoying it so much that i carried on until my girl was 2!

Make sure your baby is latching on properly! See breastfeeding counsellor, or go to breastfeeding class they all around!

Good luck!!! You can do it!!!!!

Congratulations on your new daughter! I echo all of the above excellent advice and support, you are doing brilliantly and it does get so much easier. When DS was a few weeks old I remember thinking "my god, how do people manage to get anything done when there's all this struggling with position, checking latch, mopping up leaks etc." but not long after that I found myself out and about with him, feeding him with confidence and barely even giving it a second thought except to marvel at how lovely it was

Especially take note of what FairMidden says - it's your job to rest and feed and snuggle with your baby, nothing else

congratulations

I agree with the above - day 5 is terrible! but please try to stick with it. I so nearly gave up with my first, evenings in particular where nonstop feeding sessions - that's completely normal.

Best website for breastfeeding info I've seen in kellymom. It's American, but boobs are boobs....

The page there for feeding in the early days is here

good luck

Congratulations! You're doing really well - but it is REALLY hard for all the reasons above that Starlight mentioned. I found feeding got a lot easier about 2 weeks in and by 4 weeks was great.

I also found that I had to keep taking painkillers for the first fortnight to help with the pain of episiotomy etc. Check with your midwife/GP what you can take. At least if you're not in too much pain at one end, coping with the BFing is a bit easier...

Take ANY help offered - the most important thing you can do for your little one is to be kind to yourself and give you both time to learn how to feed. No guilt allowed about being looked after either!

Ref sleeping, if DD won't sleep in her moses basket see if she'll drop off on your chest or (if available) your DP's.

HTH - good luck

Ditto Kellymom- I still refer to it 10 months later.

It will get better.

Well done! Agree about Day 5 - I think I spent most of that crying in my cubicle! (I was still in hospital.) You're doing great.

Do anything, and get others to do anything, that makes it all easier for you. Get your DH to take your baby downstairs (or away from the bedroom) for an hour or two in the morning right after you've fed her, and get some sleep while he's walking the floor with her. Demand extra help and pampering, and don't do any housework at all! Can someone get your shopping in, or maybe even prepare some meals to freeze? My GP told me quite strictly that my job was to breastfeed DS and sleep, and nothing else (I think she had elevated ideas about my house-proudness!).

Sleep deprivation accounts for a hell of a lot of the worries and depressive moments in those first weeks, so go with it, as things will improve. And when you've come through the first weeks, you'll really appreciate being able to breastfeed - it makes things so easy all round.

Good luck!

I feel quite emotional! thank you for all the advice & encouragement, i feel much more confident to persevere and i will speak to my midwife tomorrow.x

Meant to say that the breastfeeding helplines are really good - I got some really good help from a BF counsellor yesterday ref my 6-month-old DS.

NCT number is 0300 330 0771 - you don't have to be a member and they will prioritise your call if urgent. Your midwife should also be able to give you some local support numbers.

you poor thing!! there is light at end of tunnell keep going,ive just had baby no.4 and i still found it hard for a week or so and have bf all of them!! lansinoh ointment is fab,warm flannels on boobs when bathing helps too.hard now but you will reep rewards v soon,who wants to get up to make bottles at 3pm?well done for persevering.

Hi abizmum

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter, it's great to have them finally with you isn't it.

Just want to chime in too, although the others are much more experienced and have given some great words of wisdom. But wanted to let you know that there are others out there going through it too who can help, if only by letting you know you are not alone.

My son is 3 weeks old, and I remember day 5 and the time around it as being really hard. The midwife came round that day and helped me loads with my latch, but I really struggled with feeding and I cried every day. I felt like such a failure as he was losing weight and I couldn't feed him well enough due to the permanent engorgement and how tired I felt.

It does pass, I am certainly not saying that at 3 weeks it is easy peasy - quite the opposite. I'm still learning and finding things harder than I ever imagined, but compared to 2 weeks ago, I have seen such a massive improvement in my mood (ok so I cry every couple of days), and the way that I am able to feed my son. I am hoping that this improvement will continue and that there will be a day very soon where I don't think at least once "I'm not sure I can do this" and it will be more like "wow, it's working".

Hang in there, and read as many threads as you can on bfing. It is really encouraging to see other people have gone through the same things as you, and that things do get better, and the advice is so helpful if you are unable to speak with anyone close to you or at home.

If you do decide that you can't continue bfing, remember that you have given it a try, so don't beat yourself up about not being able to continue as you have already given your daughter the best possible start for her first week.

Good luck with the feeding, and ask for help wherever you can get it, as that's what the midwives and the breast feeding counsellors are there for, and it can make a huge difference.

Congratulations!

You are doing really well. It does get easier, I promise. I found the early days of breastfeeding completely overwhelming. It is only later that you realise that the early days are such a short period of time (it just feels like forever at the time! ). You will get through this bit and be so pleased that you perservered.

I would echo all the great advice you have been given. Your DP/ mum/ friends etc may not be able to help directly with the feeding but they can change nappies, help settle your dd between feeds and wait on you!

Good luck with the midwife tomorrow. I am sure she will help.