Feeling under pressure to start introducing baby rice...

[Catla]

I am exclusively BF DD who has been fractious since day 1... MIL is continually advising to start her on baby rice but DD is only 15 weeks today. She is sleeping really well and can go from 7pm to 6/7am though sometimes I give her a dream feed at 10pm ish. She absolutely refuses to take a bottle of EBM. I have tried to explain the benefits of BF to MIL but she just want to 'have' her grandchild and thinks that she is crying/screaming a lot because she's hungry and I just need to feed her 'properly' and start her on baby rice. I'm finding it really difficult to keep my cool with her and feel that I won't be able to leave DD with her at any point cos I'll be worried what she'll feed her when she does start weaning - she doesn't even know bout the no-salt/sugar thing - I just get the comment that 'my boys survived'! Any advice anyone and please tell me I'm doing the right thing just carrying on with exclusively breast feeding??!!

You are definitely doing the right thing! People have lots of different opinions about weaning but IMO if a 15 week old baby is sleeping from 7-7 (or sometimes a dreamfeed) then they are not hungry! I'd be so happy if my 2yo did that!

She refuses EBM, is thriving on breastfeeding - nothing is wrong and your MIL is mad!

You are doing the right thing! It sounds to me that she doesn't need baby rice at all - if she is sleeping well, then she clearly isn't hungry! Plus breastmilk has way more calories than a spoonful of baby rice so if she is hungry than bm is by far the best thing for her.

How often do you see your MIL? If you are feeling really under pressure from her then I think you need to cut back on how often you see her.

Can your DP/DH have a word with her to explain how he thinks bf is best and how he doesn't think that baby rice is the answer so could she perhaps stop talking about it? Rather than saying that you think this, he should tell her that he thinks it. Then she might back off as she'll realise that it's not that she has a stroppy DIL but that she has a stroppy son instead

Catia sounds like you have it all under control. Your baby doesn't sound at all like she needs baby rice. It's very difficult having someone like that constantly telling you otherwise.

stick to your guns. you're doing the right thing.

i have never understood baby rice, didn't give it to either of mine, and exclusively bf til 6 months. dd2 was fractious. it could be reflux, or tiredness, or any number of other things. if she were really hungry, she would be waking up during the night for feeds and she's not.

i wouldn't leave her with your mil, until she's being weaned and it's too late for her to interfere.

Good sleeping! Yes, of course you are doing the right thing, well done! MILs unfortuately often come from a different planet era and just don't get the bf / 6 month weaning. They did what they were told was right at the time and so that is what they still believe - changing their minds means accepting that they, perhaps, were wrong. That's my exerience anyway - and my MIL will never, ever admit that she is wrong!
You'll just have to stick to your guns. I used to say things like 'things change' or when really pushed 'well, this is what I want to do'. Try to stop feeding convos before they start with a subject change.
Also baby rice tastes foul!

Can you print these out for her?

You don't have to start with baby rice anyway. DD1 had it first because I thought it seemed the thing to do, but not for long - it looked so boring. DS had mushed up avocado and DD2 had a big bowl of butternut squash and polished off the lot for her first non milk feed. They were mostly ff but all have very healthy and wide ranging appetites. Steered clear of the bland stuff early on. And weaned them when they spent more time ogling my food and trying to grab than wanting milk - around 5 and half months with each. Stick to what you want to do. She's had her turn.

I do feel for you! My own mother just let me get on with it and never said anything. Mil, sil and bilsgf however were and still are of the opinion that I starved both my boys by only giving them milk until 6 months.

It was really hard at the time with all their comments, especially as sil had her first baby 2 months before I did and was doing everything 'right'. ie jars of baby food at 16 weeks. A year after I had ds2, bilsgf had her 2nd child after a 10 year gap and of course did everything the same as she did for her first - baby rice at 14 weeks, because thats what she knows.

You have to remember that its just one stage of baby's life and will soon be over. Stick to your guns.

You also have to remember that sooo many women had babies and were told to wean from 16 weeks and that solids would help them sleep through etc etc. Try to think forward 25 years and some dil of yours saying that everything you did with your baby was wrong. Thats how your mil feels.

However, when sils pfb was 2, there was some conversation about what a sicky baby she had been (projectile vomiting up the contents of her jars most meals). Mil looked all thoughtful and said 'your ds1 wasn't sick ever was he?' so maybe its sunk in slowly!

Its very noticeable now when family get together that our two boys are bigger and eat absolutely everything so I think the proof of the eating is in our little puddings!

even the govt guideline is 26 weeks, my ds didn't eat til 10 months

thanks all, just needed that reassurance this evening. Hunkermunker, thanks so much for that link - I've printed it out and DH is going to take it round to them tomorrow - he thought it was a great leaflet. I've also sent them the link from the World Health Org about their advice for breastfeeding/weaning. I'll just keep feeding her as much as she seems to need it!

You're very welcome - glad it was useful and hope she's more supportive in future.