slow death by feeding on demand? Is that my fate?

[LuluLulabelle]

I am not really looking for solutions because I don't think there is one but DD (12 weeks) is feeding every 2 hours day and night. We seem to have regressed over the last 3 weeks and I am exhausted. DH gets up with her in the morning after her first feed of the day at around 6am but even then I only get an hour before he has to get ready for work.

The longest she sleeps at night is 2.5 hours before waking to feed. I feel like the only one whose DC does this at this age- tell me I'm not alone. Please someone tell me it'll get better before I expire due to lack of sleep...please...

my 9th month old son only went from 11pm-6am for the first time last week so I'd like to share what we have learnt - but obviously every baby is different...

he basically snacked and woke up every 2 hours like your daughter until 6 months and I was so desperate to exclusively breast feed for 6 months that I just continued even though his weight though always gaining dropped through a couple of centiles - - older women kept telling me to try a bit of baby rice etc and I felt like they didnt understand about modern baby knowledge because of this 6 month rule --- as soon as he started eating he went longer and gaining weight nicely - I think if your baby starts out bigger (DS was 9lbs1) he sometimes might need more than breastmilk between 4-6 months -

if your babys weight is fine and you want to carry on breastfeeding exclusively for 6 months I found taking him out of the hammock (we found natures sway really useful) after you go to bed and co-sleeping/feeding without properly waking up was the only way to cope - we went on holiday to a bed that I wasn't happy co-sleeping on (too narrow and high) so I had to stay awake and put him back in the hammock and that was actually more dangerous because you will fall asleep feeding if you are up every 2 hours

sorry this is so long!! finally where we are now (in a much easier situation after 6 months I know) is as we are happy that our boy does not need to feed during the night because he is not hungry just habit and comfort, and that's how he has learnt to get back to sleep.........so we tried to not feed him when he woke up give water in a bottle and cuddle- the first night he cried for 2 hours on my shoulder being walked around but the 2nd night it was 10 minutes - now he will go to sleep without being fed and 3 days later went from 11-6 hurrah (its still not every night) my husband is also giving him a 6oz dreamfeed at 11.
so basically I am saying I would have fed him something before 6 months if I could do it again because he was hungry - and I now have learnt that you have to change the babies pattern sometimes they will not change it ...pheww I must learn to condense my writting or I will get kicked off here!!

Glad you're finding the book useful Lulu and good on you that you can read and feed when out and about - I'm still doing all my feeds at home !

Sounds like things are improving and you're getting a plan together

Thanks Nanc123 &B MiniMarmite. I actually had the opposite problem on Saturday - DD went from a feed at 8.30am and then wouldn't feed again until 3pm when we had a bath together. I called La Leche who just recommended skin-to-skin contact and said she might be coming down with something. She was and has been poorly over the weekend but it really scared me - we were away from home in a hotel and I had no pump or anything. I was up in the night to hand-express! I should be careful what I wish for eh? La Leche suggested offering the breast often which improved things on Sunday and she fed little and ofen. I had to put up with MIL's comments about "the quantity of your milk is obviously there but if she's feeding that often then I am concerned about the quality" & "She shouldn't be waking in the night at this age, you just don't know how much she's getting with BF". Aaaargh! Its about the millionth time she's said these things so I got a bit angry and snapped at her in the end.

Anyway, we're back on a three hour pattern and she is only waking twice a night and one of those she doesn't seem to be too hungry so perhaps that will stop.

Thats interesting that you've been told about baby rice, MIL told me she had DH on baby rice at 6 weeks because he was just a hungry baby and she things DD is the same. I am the same as you were, wanting to EBF for 6 months then wean. I guess we'll see, I don't know many people who have actually made it to 6 months though so maybe I will be the same.

Thanks everyone, seems I got a lot of solutions when I didn't think there were any!

no problem you are definitely not the only one, all of my breastfeeding friends had a 2 hour sometimes 1 hour waking phase only my friends that were giving mixed or exclusive formular feeds had longer sleeping babies at 3 months - hope it gets better!

Well my dd was two this week and she often wakes every three hours to feed,not very helpful for you to hear but at least you can think of a kindred spirit awake too when you are up tonight!

hi, not read all of the thread, but my ds2 fed 1-2 hourly night and day around this age. it was very hard, but we got through it. i co-slept as it was the only way i could get any sleep with dh in the spare room, then used the amby hammock and he did go a bit longer than that.

if you try and space out the feeds your baby will be having less milk, and i think that is why often people then wean early. your breast milk is much more calorie dense than baby rice or carrrots. i managed to wait until 6 months without any problem, and when i did introduce solids there was no sudden change in sleeping or bf pattern. solids before 4 months is not a good idea at all.

i also had to endure the same MIL comments as you, it was terrible, she told me i should only be bf 4 times/24 hours at 12 weeks! And she is a GP! I am very stubborn and ignored her, but it was very hard as DH tended to believe her more than me.

good luck with it, it is just a phase and will improve, but you have my sympathy it is a difficult phase!

Thanks everyone, I expressed yesterday so that DH could do the 10pm-ish feed and I could sleep. It took me two attempts at expressing to get 6 oz which she wolfed down and then I had to feed her anyway. So not bothering with that again!

weasle, that must have been infuriating. Ny MIL bottle fed her boys so knows absolutely nothing about BF but I think I'd be even more angry if she was a GP. I'd expect her to be more understanding. I am still feeding her when she's hungry which is sometimes an hour and half after her last feed but mostly around 3 hours. I was worried that she might not get enough milk if I tried to schedule her feeds and I don't want to mess up my supply.

I definately don't want to wean yet, a friend of mine has just started giving her 4 month old 3 meals a day in the hope that she'd sleep and she wakes more than ever. I am determined to BF to 6 months, actually I want to feed her until I go back to work when she's 1. MIL is going to have a heart attack when she finds that out!

Oh hellymelly, I'll be thinking of you tonight when DD wakes. Are you exhausted or do you just get used to it?

I am so pleased to have found out that other babies feed every 2 hrs, and not just at growth spurt time too.
I know the milk won't run out but I do wonder sometimes, and I do find it exhausting (in early weeks I literally passed out after a feed, even with a 3yr old talking to me).

Lulu great advice from others, my bit, for what its worth, is that relaxing is key. Puts baby in better mood (and you) and more settled and filling feeding leading to beter sleeps, easier said than done but I keep trying.
Also, I know sleeping on tummy's is the big no-no at the early stage but DD2 sleeps best (and longest)on her tum, in other position then it has to be on the move.
As someone who needs sleep my thoughts are with you Lulu. With DD1 I did reach the point of exhaustion so all Icould do was put yelling baby into cot and go to bed, when I woke 45minutes later she was asleep. I realised that an exhausted Mum is not in a poistion to care for baby, and yes I did fall asleep less than 3ft from yelling baby.

I was just starting to think about formula to help but this has reminded me that that impacts my milk. I may be small with small breasts but boy do I produce and leak with it (and yet I worry about drying up now - mad). I also eat and eat and eat....

DD1 settled into a routine relatively easily and to be honest it seemed all easy then (or is that selective memory talking?), but DD2, well, we are week 10 now and although there was a few days of 3hr feeds(got my hopes up) its been 2hrs all day for several weeks, luckily not nights too. I am keen for a routine to manage my days with DD1 (3.5yrs), especially with holidays looming. btw at night it goes roughly from 7or8pm 5-6hrs, 3hrs then 2hrs rest of day. Feeds tend to be messy too, but at least aftermath less stressful with gaviscon (also giving infacol).
Good luck Lulu and thanks for posting.