to think its ok to say its not ideal to have a baby when you are a teenager?

[PSCMUM]

its not is it? except it was for me. but i look at others and i think ..you poor people, and your poor children, and o my god what a disaster for everyone. And then I look at myself and I feel really proud. IS that how all teen mums feel? like we've triumphed over the odds?

am I just being a comlpete and utter snob? I probably am. I don't know. I really just don't know.

No I dont think you are, but how old were you when you had ur dc?

I was 20, but 19 when pregnant. I got treated like a 16yr old single mum by the midwife, although Im happily settled in a house, with DP Aand have a job!

I look at SOME teenage mums who are smoking and have thier baby's out late at night, or when I see them with no socks on, on a cold day. Or as a Tiny baby and theyre not in a hat, it reels me.

But I have seen older mums do this too...

I know what your saying.

How did your experience of birth go, being a teenager?

The teenage pregnancy debate is a real thing for me.
I feel once a girl is pregnant and decides she wants to keep the baby she should be enabled to be the best parent she can be. Which at the end of the day is all any of us can do.

The issue is why these girls feel the need to get pregnant in the first place.
Sex education is the key .
You can get pregnant by mistake but not by accident. I have never had sex by accident.

I had my ds1 at 19 and he was a mistake but i am a fantastic mum and was when he was born.
i had a drug free labour, breast fed him until he was 9 months old, made all his food from sractch.

I was enabled by my family and friends to be the best parent i could be. However my GP cried when my mum and i went to book me in, get my pregnancy results etc. I was ballsy enough to challenge midwifes who looked down their nose at me and told my Health visitor to not visit anymore until she had some useful advice to give me.

For me having my son at 19 was the best thing. Now my children are older i am going to college. I have the life experience to know what i want to train in.

If I had gone to uni at 18 it would have been a waste of time and money. I would have studied something irrelevant and not well as i would have partied for 3 years.

So we need to improve sex education and intervene in the cycle of poverty that can occur when women have children young. But looking down our nose at young mums struggling is not the way forward.

Get into schools and tell young people the reality of having children young even with a job and partner is not easy. It is never easy whatever your situation parenting is hard work.

sorry rant over

"Or as a Tiny baby and theyre not in a hat, it reels me."

ermmm that would have been me 3 times over (and I was in my 20's with each of them )

soz FAQ When its really cold I should say. I went to a carboot near me the other day, ot wqas 7am and there were young mums (LOADS of them) all with newborns, and I never saw one with a hat on and it was freezing!!!!!

Raindrop...I agree. But when the damage is done what can we do to stop it. Even if we go into schools and show them how hard a baby is to raise, or you should only have sex when you meet the right person and use contraception...Will they listen?

I know my cousin and his g/f were 16&18 when they had thier first baby (stillborn) and this shattered them. enough for them both to have unprotected sex for 2 more years before concieving thier next child (pregnant now 18&20yrs old) They have no supportive family on their side (except me and my DP) as they keep themselves away from everyone.

I feel sorry for her, as she never dealt with losing Jessica. She just wanted to replace her with another baby, to heal the loss.

I also know (from 2008) a 12,13, two 17, 18,and a 19, 3 20yr olds 1 including me, who all gave birth last year. the first 4 really shocked me.
I still have contact with my little sisters friend who was 17. Her baby is 7 months old now. I passed her in the street the other day, had to stop and c how she was gettin on. Her face was a picture ' urr yeah, its ok' she said with a fake smile 'quite tiring'. She has an abusive 18yr old daddy to her baby, and lives on her own on benefits. She came from a well privalidged family and a very good school. its just a shame the sex education at our school was a cartoon video and nothing else as the teacher seemed to embarrassed to talk about it. I just think they should get every 15 yr old (yr 10) to do a childcare course at school.

ermmmmm yep that would probably have been me too............oh actually wait 7am???? no can't have been me - I just saw the "cold" bit

I looked after one of those baby dolls at college when I was 17 (did A Btec in childcare). I can say that put me off having a baby for 3 days, let alone a lifetime. I really wanted a baby when I was young. But it took me 2 1/2 yrs to actually have a baby (not planned) was using microgynon, and sometimes condoms, but still managed to happen (think it was the antibiotics i took)

Those dolls annoy you so much, me and my friend looked after one each at her house for the wknd. my DP was with me then, and he also (though not willingly) held the doll. He was 25 so a bit older.
Even with the 3 of us taking care of these babies, we stil managed to get so annoyed by them that by sunday afternoon, both had theier necks 'broken'! Had alot of explaining to do to our head of childcare!