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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Desperate to have a break from breastfeeding

8 replies

Dragonhart · 20/04/2009 18:06

My dd3 is nearly 8months old and I really want her to take a bottle. To be honest I want to give breast feeding up now and move to follow on milk but dd has other ideas.

She wont take a bottle, cup, any formula or expressed milk. She wont let anyone else do it whether I am in the house or out. I have tried loads of different teats, spouts, open cup, warm formula, cold formula,expressed milk and then I tried sticking to one teat for afew weeks to see if she would get used to it. The only thing she will take is me.

I havent had a break from her for longer than 2hrs since she was born so when I came to weaning her at 6months I thought it would get better. But she has refused to let me spoon feed her so she is just eating finger foods, which is fine but obviously less actually goes in.

So in desperation I have tried 'starving' her to make her take the bottle in the day but feeding her in the morning and at bedtime. She is just waiting for night feeds and basically crying all day. She will drink water and sometimes eats a resonable ammount but today she has had;

Morning breastfeed
Refused to eat any breakfast, afew sips of water
Refused formula midmorning
Ate about half a toast finger at lunch, drank almost an oz of water
Refused formula midafternoon
Ate small ammount of potato, carrot and chicken for tea, afew sips of water
Then I will give her a feed before bedtime.

It just isnt enough. She is obviously hungry. I just dont know what to do. I am getting really desperate and feel on the verge of tears all the time, epsecially when she is crying and obviously wants a feed. If anyone has any words of wisdom, I would greatly appreciate them.

OP posts:
moondog · 20/04/2009 18:08

God, you've done so well and perfectly reasonable to want a break. Bear inm ind at this age they can go for a good few hours without milk. I suggest you express some, leave it for your dh or mum or siter andjust take off for a few hours [even go to someone else's house for a sleep. ]She will take it when hungry enough-promise!

tiktok · 20/04/2009 18:23

I agree with moondog....but if she is especially needy of you right now (and 8 mths is classic) you could maybe try in a couple of weeks, not to stop her bf by starving her or letting her cry, but getting her used to other people rather than you taking care of her.

She is old enough to understand that when you are not around, neither is her fave drink And she can gradually cope with that.

She will not starve or dehydrate if she takes no food or drink for a couple of hours - there is no point in fighting as she will just become more and more distressed and become even harder to leave!

Someone else you trust can have her for a few hours and if she drinks/eats in that time it's a bonus...but if she doesn't want to, that's ok, too.

Dragonhart · 20/04/2009 21:00

Thanks moondog and tiktok. Everyone said that if she was hungry enough she would take the formula but after afew days of not breastfeeding her in the day I am not so sure. She has been eating like that for 4 days and seems to be eating less when I have not fed her in the day.

I suppose I am happier when I am bf her rather than trying to stop but just feel it is this huge burden on me. I have had 3 children close together and bf them all for 7-8 months then fallen preg again so just feel I totally overwhelmed by it all! I long for a baby/child free day out shopping, going for a coffee that I can relax and chat through rather than having to entertain them.

I think the best bet is to try to drop her morning bf as she falls asleep on me and doesnt take much. Maybe try to get her just to have more breakfast then have a proper nap til lunchtime. Then I can have a morning, lunch and afternoon out til her 3ish feed.

Do you think it is worth trying to offer her formula before bfing her at 3 or will she just refuse if she knows that she will get me when she gets upset? Would it be better to only offer formula when I am not there?

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StarlightMcKenzie · 20/04/2009 21:34

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peppapighastakenovermylife · 20/04/2009 21:46

My DD is exactly the same...and DS was also the same. She is 7 months now and when she is at home with me wants as many breastfeeds as she can possibly have. She is reluctant to let me spoon feed her but I rarely do anyway, preferring to let her feed herself bits and pieces. When I do give her food though she has a bit then screams for me.

However she goes to nursery 3 days a week. Usually she is there from 7.30 am to 4pm. I feed her at 6 am and when we get home at about 5 ish usually. She is absolutely fine to go without milk all this time. Doesnt make the slightest fuss - has a few sips of water, eats her food...and generally gets on with playing and giggling. She was also fine when left with my parents for the day. DS did exactly the same thing.

If I tried that at home though - not breastfeeding her - she would hit the roof! I would suggest leaving her with someone for the afternoon...an hour or two even - go have a coffee or your hair done and I bet she will actually be fine. She may want to feed more when you get back but she may well just eat happily and have the odd sip of milk when you are away. Incidentally my DD will let nursery spoon feed her no problem!

I hope it works out
xxx

LeonieSoSleepy · 20/04/2009 22:35

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Dragonhart · 20/04/2009 22:56

Starlight- Oh yes the guilt cry! She always cries when she sees me again, even though DH tells me she has been fine.

Leonie- You must be so patient to last that long with no break! Maybe I would have had more patience with ds1 but I am pretty frazzled most of the time now!

Peppa- This morning I had to go to the doctors and chemist then when I got back DH had taken dd2 and dd3 to go to pick up ds1 from playgroup so was away for about 2hours. He said she cried the whole time in the house but when he took her out in buggy she was quite happy then fell asleep.

So maybe a tired/bored thing some of the time. Sure she would be happiest if I just had my boobs out available all the time with her in my arms!

OP posts:
Dragonhart · 23/04/2009 09:18

Just wanted to let you know that things are much calmer here now. We both feel better about breastfeeding but feel like the presure is off a bit as I could go out and dd would manage ok. DD has also been eating and sleeping better for the last few days which makes things easier.

Thanks again for all your advice.

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