How to Make Breastfeeding Difficult

[TBM]

1. Tell the mother to "feed on a 4-hour schedule" or "get the baby on a schedule." This results in a low milk supply and a hungry, frustrated baby and frustrated parents. Be sure to blame the crying on breastfeeding. If this doesn't work, warn her to limit the length of feeds, which will accomplish the same thing.

1. Be sure to "get the baby used to a bottle." This can result in a confused baby who refuses the breast. It's also a great way to lower the milk supply and undermine the mother's confidence.

1. Tell her she doesn't have enough milk if:

"The baby wants to nurse again after only 2-3 hours"...OR

"The baby will take 2 ounces of formula after nursing"...OR

"Your breasts aren't full and uncomfortable all the time"

Since milk supply insecurity is the primary cause of lactation failure, this will introduce an element of doubt and fear to the whole process.

1. Tell her she can't or shouldn't nurse if:

"She wants to eat chocolate (or Mexican food or cabbage, etc.)"...OR

"She smokes or wants to take medication"...OR

"She's going back to work/school in a few weeks"....OR

"She wants to go out in public...nursing requires privacy"...OR

"Her breasts are too small (or large)"...OR

"Her mother couldn't"...OR

"She's too nervous"...

Find as many reasons for NOT breastfeeding as you can, and look for ANY reason to interrupt it. Put as much distance between mother and baby as possible.

1. Insist that "Dad should give the baby a bottle or he'll feel left out." This is another good way to minimize the importance of breastfeeding.

1. Tell her it may hurt to breastfeed, and that sore, cracked nipples are normal. Pain is an excellent adverse stimulus. Don't teach her how to position the baby correctly. Do give her a nipple shield, give the baby lots of bottles to disrupt the proper suck, and tell her to rub her nipples with a rough towel to "condition" them. And be sure to tell her every "horror story" you've ever heard about breastfeeding, in graphic detail.

1. Tell her to give the baby formula, glucose water and cereal right from the beginning, to make the baby sleep. This is another good way to insure inadequate milk supply. Tell her that her milk might be too rich or too thin. Try and make her think that formula is the "safer" option, and that there is something wrong with her milk even if she's lucky enough to have enough of it .This will further shatter her confidence.

1. Separate her from her baby at birth, and show by your actions that water, formula, pacifiers, and scheduled feedings are the appropriate way to care for the baby. Since she is especially vulnerable at this time and will follow your example, be sure to tell her how little breastfeeding matters. This will help her distrust her instincts even more.

1. Don't teach her the normal course of infant behavior. Don't warn her about growth spurts and frequency days. Don't call or visit her, and be sure to abandon her in the critical first two weeks. Blame breastfeeding for anything you can think of, and make up reasons to stop breastfeeding if necessary.

10. Give her plenty of formula samples to take home to further weaken her confidence. Make sure the literature you give her has many references to formula, and doesn't tell her how to keep her milk supply up. Make sure she doesn't call a La Leche League Leader, Lactation Consultant, breastfeeding peer counselor, or anyone else knowledgeable about breastfeeding.

All these tactics, individually or collectively, will discourage breastfeeding.

© 1986 Linda J. Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC

Yes I agree

I had my daughter 7 years ago after a spontaneous earlier than I imagined birth on the sofa we were whipped to hospital and separated the midwives insisted I was too traumatised to feed her - I was simply traumatised that my baby had arrived before I was ready in my head and I just wanted to hold her and say hello.
My mother INSISTED it was a horrific thing to feed a baby.
I was single so I was told too many times that I wasn't be fair on anyone and the health visitor was disparaging by the time she was 6 weeks old I was combi feeding
when she was 4 months old I fed her rarely and in secret because of the remarks made.
for too long I felt like such a let down.

my son is coming up 11 months and has been exclusively fed I was still given the same rubbish about how awful his father would feel and he has said from time to time he's wished he could give me a bit of break especially in the early days but he's helped in other ways making sure dinner is done taking DD to school etc.
I wasn't told about growth spurts until I rang my old midwife crying that he'd fed 5 times an hour a go and I clearly was useless
she came over bless her to speak to me and just assumed having DD meant I knew ...

the health visitor took one look at me when he was 5 days old and said oh you look so tired have you any formula?
I politely told her I was quite happy breastfeeding.
a week later he was crying because I had eaten something wrong...
I haven't seen her since

I sometimes worry about "Health care providers"
there seem to be the odd few who seem to revel in being unhelpful to say the least.

I find it sad that this was written in 1986 and it is just as relevant 23 years later, nothing has changed. I recognise a few of those from people around me and most often they were well meaning. Why are we at a stage that no one knows how to be supportive without making things worse?

Shocking indeed. A wquarter of a century later, and what has changed? Not much.

Aha! I see you found my old HV's training manual!

GUB, was that sort of advice really endorsed?

My HV had never actually had kids so was terrifically well-qualified to give bf advice............. I did learn to ignore her after a few initial wobbles!

I've said it a lot on MN, but my Peer Support trainer didn't have children, some of the things she said were a little not in this way but she would say things that you can't say 100% unless you have done something yourself. Like pain, she said you only get pain if it is wrong. When it hurts for me I look at a couple of things, 1. is it distracting (to the point that all I can think about is pain and I can't talk) and 2. what is the pain? When Fifi was first born she had a very strong latch, it didn't distract me once she was on and I could feel that that was what it was. I also had pain in my breasts as I let down again it wasn't really distracting and I could label it. I think labeling pain helps, but saying there is no such thing as pain beyond a bad latch is unhelpful and ultimately will lead to people stopping if no matter what they do it still hurts. Better to teach them to understand it. All that to say my trainer didn't have children lol