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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breast feeding experts - please help, I'm really stressed :(

37 replies

electra · 17/04/2009 13:20

My baby is 6 days old. She was 2.815kg at birth. On 14/04 she was 2.58 and today weighed in at 2.56.

The midwife immediately started phoning feeding advisors, etc and even mentioned her being admitted on to the post natal ward and giving her formula etc - Help! I do not want to give her formula!!!!

A bit of back ground - she is feeding on both sides, sleeps between feeds. I don't let her sleep for longer than 3 hours. She does lots of wet nappies. On a few dirty ones a day but her stools are yellow.

What can I do to get them off my back? Once formula is introduced there will be no going back.

What should I be eating? How many calories a day? I am quite small and didn't put on much weight in pregnancy.

Please help - I am really stressed. I fed my other two babies with no problems...

OP posts:
bumpybecky · 17/04/2009 13:30

first off - don't panic have a sandwich and big (soft!) drink and take some big calming breaths.

second off - I'm not an expert (just fed 4 babies) but it doesn't sound to me that your dd has a big problem. Losing 10% of birthweight is fairly common, some babies take longer to regain that others. Yellow poo is good, all other background things (wet nappies, both sides, sleeping) you've mentioned sound good

If the MWs are back in touch today I'd suggest you stall them, suggest reweighing on Monday (or later).

Apart from that, babymoon - retire to your bed and concentrate completely on the baby. Lots of skin to skin contact for the two of you and plenty of rest. Make sure you're eating and drinking plenty, doesn't have to be complicated food, sandwiches are fine.

you've done this before, you can do this again you will be fine just try to chill out and relax

meltedmarsbars · 17/04/2009 13:30

using Formula as a stop-gap does not mean you can't continue to breastfeed - many mothers do both. I did, on my third.
You need to eat LOADS while breastfeeding - just as my neighbour dairyfarmers cosset and feed their cows!! I am 5 ft and was 7 stone so had to eat like a horse!!
Make sure she feeds long enough to get full, not just a little suck and fall asleep - I had to strip one of mine to keep her awake enough to feed.
The midwife may be asking for help to rule out any other possible reason why your baby might not be feeding well. Poor feeding is a classic symptom of other health problems that she will want to rule out. She has to do her job to look after both of you and keep you both healthy.
And its much harder to "let down" the milk if you are stressed - get comfy, with some favourite calm music in the backround and enjoy your lo.
Good Luck!

bumpybecky · 17/04/2009 13:32

meant to dd - my dd3 lost over 10% of her birthweight and didn't regain it until she was over 3 weeks old. Some babies just take longer to get sorted than others. She was a poor feeder at first, but we fed until 22 months in the end.

EldonAve · 17/04/2009 13:38

You don't need to eat loads to bf

Was your baby weighed naked each time?
Did they use the same scales?
Were they digital ones?

Have you tried calling any of the bf helplines?

moondog · 17/04/2009 13:44

Melted, most of the time, introducing formula this early is detrimental to breastfeeding and it isn't necessary anyway. If the baby needs more milk, you just breastfeed more.
Also, neither do you need to eat like a horse when breastfeeding. That's a myth.

Electra, it's normal for a baby to lose some weight inititially. This woman can,t force you to give your baby formula either.It's your decision. All sounds fine to me but if concerned, then phone one of breastfeeding helplines for reassurance.They know about b/feeding, unlike your MW who sounds rather ill informed. What a surprise. .

ShowOfHands · 17/04/2009 13:46

here

How much to eat when bfing. You don't need to eat a lot at all. Only about 300 calories more than pre-pregnancy, so a couple of healthy snacks is all. Eat to your hunger and drink plenty of water as bfing makes you super thirsty and this sometimes feels like hunger.

StarlightMcEggzie · 17/04/2009 13:47

electra I'm on a self-imposed ban from posting on MN but whenI saw it was you I couldn't let it go.

Firstly don't panic. It really doesn't sound like there is anything 'much' to worry about. You need a bit of help - yes. Do you need formula? Not at all at this stage.

Yellow nappies are a brilliant. The initial weight loss is nothing to worry about, and that teeny difference in just 3 days could be down to plenty of 'normal' things.

However, your baby does need to gain weight (obviously) over the next few days.

A few questions:

Have you had your latch checked? (I suspect it isn't terrible because of the nappies, but there is often room for improvement)

When you offer both sides with each feed, do you then return to side one again?

How do you judge when to swap sides?

meltedmarsbars · 17/04/2009 13:49

I quite agree moondog, but I meant that when its a necessity to formula feed short-term, as it was with my 3rd, it doesn't mean you can't go back to exclusively bf. I did, and then fed her till 14 months.
And I did eat like a horse!!

Electra, keep us posted, we are here to listen, if nothing else!

StarlightMcEggzie · 17/04/2009 13:50

meltedmarsbars It 'can' mean you can't go back to exclusively bf. That's why it should really only be a last resort.

Woollymummy · 17/04/2009 13:52

are you drinking enough water? drink as much as you can. keep tickling her when she feeds to keep her awake, so she drinks as much as she can. carry her in a sling so she keeps as warm as you when she is asleep and she will put on more weight than if she is in a cot and keeping her body temp up with milk energy. warm= fatter good luck, keep us posted. x

StarlightMcEggzie · 17/04/2009 13:57

Woollymummy rofl sorry but rofl!

Slings can be helpful but I certainly have never heard that one. Where on earth do you get your bfing information?

You really shouldn't drink or eat any more than your body tells you to. You don't need to force any more calories or ml into your body any more than you need to do a milk flowing ritual dance before each feed.

ruddynorah · 17/04/2009 14:00

is that why so many mums traipse round shopping centres with babies wrapped up in blankets, foot muffs, snowsuits, hats, mittens etc etc, plus raincover clamped down....to keep them fat???! love it.

tiktok · 17/04/2009 14:45

electra - the weight difference you see on the scales is 20 g. This is far too slight for any conclusions to be drawn - no infant scales could be accurate enough for you to be sure your baby is losing weight.

I don't know why your midwife went into a flap. All the signs you describe are normal and good. If you or midwife think she needs more calories, then you have them in your breasts - skin to skin cuddling will enable your dd to have more opportunities to fed.

woolly - mothers don;t need to drink more than they want to (and deffo not 'as much as you can') and the tickling thing to keep the baby awake is only really appropriate when the baby is at risk and seems unable to stay awake...otherwise it risks becoming an irritant to the baby. I can sort of see where you are coming from with the 'keep baby warm to put on weight' though - but this isn't really an issue here.

dan39 · 17/04/2009 18:25

You do need to eat tho, I struggled at first cos I was knackered and anxiuos and shell shocked - I had no appetite and was worried about bfing, good practical tip from a friend was babybel, nuts, and cerealbars as they are easy. And those actimel things too. I tried to have one and a glass of water with each feed just to ensure I got in the habit of eating (too knackered to cook and dh is a terrible cook...)when I could.

Try not to worry tho 20g really doesn't sound like a major panic.

Original poster
electra · 17/04/2009 23:07

Thanks for your support. Starlight - I am very honoured that you would post just for me!

I meant to add that the midwife has advised me to express into a cup and to give her that but I tried it and she got very annoyed, spat it all out and it was a complete waste of time! I can't see the logic behind it - am I missing something?

I feel tearful about the whole thing and totally dread the midwife weighing her again. I feel she is fine and seems contented. But the community MWs where I live seem hysterical and I have had to cope with this all through my pregnancy too.

Her latch seems fine - she got the hang of that very quickly.

The temperature thing is an issue in that she gets cold very quickly. So I think, maybe she would burn calories that way - I had read about the sling thing on Kellymom. She has a hat indoors.....

Thanks again, I will keep posting

OP posts:
Original poster
electra · 18/04/2009 11:01

bump

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 18/04/2009 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
electra · 18/04/2009 20:51

Thanks Starlight. Yes I do swap back to original side. I swap sides when she has become sleepy - that is one problem - that she falls asleep so quickly. But as I say, she gets so cold that she has to wear a hat indoors...

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 18/04/2009 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

meltedmarsbars · 20/04/2009 11:05

Hi Electra, how's it going now? Still looking out for you, hope all is settling down. Newborn can be a stressful time so hope the feeding is getting easier...

It was my 3rd time around that I had the worst problems, but won't go into that here! She's nearly 7 now!

Original poster
electra · 20/04/2009 12:18

Me too - this is my third also. I think I have discovered what the problem is - she is falling asleep way too quickly on the breast. I have found the only way she will feed properly is if I take her clothes off and some of mine and lie down with her - then she sucks rhythmically and I can hear her swallowing milk. At other times she simply behaves as if she is at the end of a feed...

My other two girls emptied a breast in 10 minutes and I often did not need to offer the other side. I don't think my supply is a problem as milk is always dripping out.

Starlight - I do check her chest but she gets cold very quickly all over...I have tried taking her clothes off but keeping a blanket over...

OP posts:
meltedmarsbars · 20/04/2009 12:23

Glad it seems to be settling down a bit. Lets hope she starts growing and the midwife is happier!
My sister calls the bf people the "breastfeeding police" - she had lots of problems, and got very stressed with the overbearing advice from all sides. I just took from it all what helped in my particular situation, I've got a thicker skin now.
Hope you are starting to recover from the birth too.
Good Luck!

Original poster
electra · 20/04/2009 12:40

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with midwives pressuring to give formula? Agree about the police thing - you feel as if it isn't your baby

OP posts:
meltedmarsbars · 20/04/2009 12:56

I guess the midwife is duty bound to ensure the baby's and your health, and I suppose formula is the modern version of a wet-nurse if things aren't going as she expected!
You should be able to weigh up the pros and cons and make your decision based on how your baby is getting on, but I agree about the pressure. You can always ask for a second opinion.
In my case the baby's feeding was so poor that she got very dehydrated and ended up being tube fed formula and breastmilk in hosp for a few days - but that is an extreme case. HOWEVER....I did then "wean" her back on to pure breastfeeding - and really had to "teach" her how to feed. Luckily I had the previous experiences. I then breastfed her until she was 14 months old, so it can be done.

One note - in our case it was because this was my third breastfed baby that the midwives got very concerned - they sensed it wasn't beginner mum's troubles.

Poppity · 20/04/2009 12:58

I'm really surprised at your midwife pushing formula, and also fretting about a bit of weight loss so early, my midwife pretty much left me to it by my 3rd
Have you tried La Leche League? You might have a local counselor who will come and support you next time the ghastly midwife visits?
The list is here
Otherwise, I think you need to trust your instincts- maybe visit your GP for support too?

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