Extended bfer now pregnant - think milk has dried up. What now?

[swingsandroundabouts]

I'm 15 weeks pg. dd has been slowly night-weaning herself the last few weeks which I think is a result of my supply dropping. I'm fairly sure it's pretty much dried up now - I can't see any drops at all when I squeeze. She still "feeds" a little but for very short periods, except at bedtime when she still "feeds" to sleep. Shall I just let her get on with it and let her learn to fall asleep off the breast naturally, whenever that may be, or should I intervene now before my new milk starts coming in and the habit sticks for another couple of years?! I wouldn't mind really but my boobs have started to hurt a bit (never have before) especially the left one which REALLY hurts every time she latches on.

Well, it's up to you! (Sorry, not very helpful I know.) How old is she?

If it's really hurting you, then that would be a pretty big push factor for me. The sensation of a child sucking on a dry breast can be pretty uncomfortable.

I weaned DS1 very suddenly when I was about as pregnant as you are. He was extremely upset about it, and tbh I've always regretted it. If I had my time again I might well still wean, but I'd make damned sure to do it in a much gentler way.

Well we've had a couple of horrible times in the middle of the night when she's been screaming, just so upset, and I think it's because the milk's gone, so not sure there's a way round that.

I've been trying gently gently approaches with dd since she was born and it's always ended up being go with the flow and sort herself out and she has really, so maybe i should just continue to trust her. But yes, the pain factor is a big one.

I suppose I just wondered if anyone else had been through a similar pattern and what happened next so i can predict a bit how things might pan out.

oh, she's 22 months.

It's a difficult one. (DS1 was about the same age when I weaned him.)

Have you read Hilary Flower's 'Adventures in Tandem Nursing'? There's quite a lot in there about pregnancy. Would definitely be worth a look, for moral support if nothing else!

thansk, iv'e actually got that book on order so look forward to reading. was thinking about your post after - "it's up to you" well, er, generally it ends up being up to dd seriously when we've tried to move things on before she's cried and cried and cried and htat's just not my cup of tea. She has come a huge long way so perhaps i'll just relax and leave nature to sort it out.

Well yes, I'm with you on the crying thing (that tends to be how we end up pg and breastfeeding, no? )

If I could have my time again, knowing what I know now, I think I'd try to persevere. DS1 is an emotional little soul, and I think he was really hurt by the combination of sudden weaning and then, a few months later, the presentation of a sibling. I think tandem nursing would have been a better route - but it would have been at some personal cost to me, of course. It's hard when you're pg and sooooo tired.

ok, other question. do ext bf toddlers just continue to go for it, even when the milk's gone? or do they tend to give up after a while. i guess that's what i meant.

cross posted, yes pw it would def be in keeping with our parenting style so far to stick with it, but i am very tired and can't imagine two on the boob! but have also heard it's wonderful for easing sibling rivalry.

truth is, i prob don't have much choice but to stick with it, hence other question about whether she's likely to give up on it of her own accord...

From what I remember of the HF book, some do and some don't (so again, not helpful...) DS1 would happily have carried on; in fact one of the reasons I snapped and lost patience was that he was so happy to have a non-milky breast that he started to nurse more rather than less. Other kids self-wean when they realise what has happened (maybe your DD would go this way, if she's upset that the milk has gone?) Other kids self-wean but happily start up again later on in the pregnancy when the colostrum comes in.

Have you tried La Leche League or bf-ing support groups? It might do you good to have a cup of tea with fellow sufferers . I didn't know anyone in RL who had been through it, which is one of the reasons I ended up handling it so badly - all I had were various family members who were aghast that I was pg and still feeding, and wanted me to Stop. It. Now.

Thanks, that's a good idea, I might try that.

I think dd is giving up when it's just about feeding. it's just that she still can't fall asleep on her own. Time will tell I guess!

I am b/f through my second pregnancy - well, third pregnancy, but second time b/fing! - and both times my milk supply pretty-much dried up immediately. I too experienced extremely sore boobs - they are getting really tender now at 13 weeks pg - but, if I remember correctly, it didn't last forever. I am currently feeding my DD,3 and DS, 18 months (today!) When I first fell pregnant my son reacted to the changes and kept 'nipping' me, but he settled down fairly quickly. He did self-wean during the night almost straight away, but seems the
same as ever during the day.

Oh, one thing I remember from my last pregnancy, throughout which my DD would have been at my breast 24 hours a day if she could, was sometimes feeling really restless and uncomfortable when she fed. Don't know if this is a common thing, but certainly happened to me.

Incidently, my DD was used to having me 'on tap' (as it were!) a great deal and b/f was - still is - extremely important to her. However, she never had any problems whatsoever adjusting to sharing with her brother.

Good luck whatever you/your DD do!