Can't believe my little boy will never feed from me again... weirdly sad!

[nellynaemates]

I think that we've finally reached the end. My son is 16 months and he had his last feed from me about 5 days ago. He'd only been having one in the morning and don't think he was getting much at all. I stopped offering because it seemed like the right time and he's not asked for it. I felt completely ready to give up but have felt unexpectedly sad and nostalgic.

It's like the last physical connection has gone, in a way breastfeeding feels like an extension of being attached to him by his cord in the womb, so it's almost like the cord finally being cut.

I know that sounds weird but I think I just needed to put it down in writing.

I don't think I'll get the full hormonal impact as I have the progesterone implant so my hormones are being mucked about with anwyay. But I did get teary yesterday and have suddenly started feeling awfully interested in making a little brother or sister for him!

I know I've been so lucky to successfully breastfeed in the first place but it's so sad when it ends (even at 16 months).

nelly i totally remember that feeling. I put off giving up for ages and kept that bedtime feed just for me for as long as i could keep going. I felt like my DD relied on me for it and once gone they would no longer rely on me, as in anyone (in theory) could care for her now for all her needs.

Still i soon realised that there are so many more stages to come and now at 2 and 1/2 DD has a ton of new things to show me each day and our bond is amazing.

It will pass but for now rest assured that you are not alone in feeling like this, well done for keeping it up for so long and look forward to number 2!!!

xx

nelly that doesn't sound weird at all, I completely understand how you're feeling.

Be gentle on yourself, it can be a really emotional time. Maybe celebrate how well you both did by splashing out on some lovely new bras?

Will definitely do that bumpybecky, I'm just waiting a couple of weeks to make sure they're not going to change size!

Thanks for the posts, most people I know in RL either don't know I didn't stop ages ago or just wouldn't understand

completely relate to how you feel. DS1 self weaned just after DS2 was born. I did feel sad for a while, and it didn't help that everyone assumed I was relieved. Talking it through with a sympathetic breastfeeding peer supporter really helped me.

Take care of yourself

Nelly, I could have written your post... I'm now kind of in the same position, my DS is 8 and a half months & is only having the bedtime feed- and to be honest, I can tell he's not getting much milk anymore. Unlike you, I'm not completely ready for this transition, but I know that we've kind of reached the end (although I suppose in our case this bedtime 'feed'- followed by a formula bottle- could go on for a while longer). It's a very strange, sad & nostalgic feeling, as you rightly say, and I've been feeling that now for a while, since I gradually started phasing out the breastfeeds (for various reasons, I felt it was the right thing to do, even though I had planned to go on until 1 year). More generally, it's hard to realize your tiny baby is not such a tiny baby any longer, and stopping bf (for me at least) has come to symbolize that transition.

Nelly - I totally understand how you feel and could have written your post - particularly the bit about the end of the physical connection.

We stopped about a month ago when DD was 20 months. A variety of reasons, but mainly I was exhausted (DD liked to feed every two hours throughout the night and this was really starting to make me ill with fatigue). However, I STILL miss it. I feel particularly sad when she points at my breasts and says 'milk, yum yum' which she never did before we stopped bfing

She has been quite badly behaved since I stopped feeding her, but on the plus side, she sleeps for 12 - 14 hours now and the sleep-deprived depression I had slipped into has lifted and life is good again , although I did have some odd hormonal moments for the first couple of weeks.

But oh how I miss feeding my baby...

I have just posted about stopping and then saw this post! I share your pain ladies!

However I did feel it was time to move on. I am worried now though about wha is described as the hormonal thing? What's that? Surely 1 feed a day won't mean some kind of withdrawl symptoms for me will it? oh no! I await weepy teary moments..........