How long can I expect my 16 week old to need feeds in the night?

[Fufulina]

My 16 wo DD wakes for a couple of feeds a night. She goes to bed about 6.30 then wakes at 12.30 am and 4.30 am and then gets up for the day about 7. She has a full feed at both feeds in the night.

She was 10 pounds at birth and is 18 pounds now. She feeds about every 3 hours during the day.

Just wondering how long I can expect her to feed in the night? I saw a friend yesterday who made me feel totally inadequate that DD was still waking in the night and in her opinion was feeding too regularly in the day. I wondered what people on here think? I felt like a real soft touch - but don't want DD to go hungry!

Sorry - forgot to add she's exclusively BF.

you aren't a soft touch, you're feeding on demand which is the best way of feeding your child.
some babies sleep through the night early, but most don't.

ds2 has never slept through and he is 17 months.
it is totally normal for a 16 week old to be waking a couple of times in the night for feeds. in fact, I like the sound of your dd (at that age ds2 was still feeding every 45 mins ) lol

Every baby is different. My ds fed twice a night from 8 weeks (before that he was 2 hourly) up til he was 7 months old, he still had a dream feed at about 11pm until he was one. My friend's ds still has two or three feeds at night and he's 13 months. It varies totally, so if your dd is waking and is hungry then feed her and stuff what anyone else says.

Both my children stopped feeding in the night at about a year old. I would ignore friends who seem to be critical about when your child does or does not feed.

Most babies need to feed regularly, day and night. Your baby does not sound unusual. If you feel that she needs food then offer it. Babies, unlike adults, IMO are not greedy but feed for a reason (comfort/hunger and so forth).

Hang in there....

Thanks all - it just knocked me for six a bit as usually this friend and I are quite similar in our approach to things. But she said I needed to be a bit 'harsher' with DD - which I didn't agree with, but did wonder.

Thanks again

My DS is 22 months and still having a feed at night. Its definitely more for comfort and gets him back to sleep straight away. 16 weeks is very young to take some kind of 'harsher' approach and comfort is a need as much as hunger. I don't think there is a problem in meeting this need.

Her sleeping patterns sound great for her age.

On a side note fufulina... I've found it really hard comparing parenting with my friends. My best friend has a ds 5 months younger than mine and our parenting styles aren't that dissimilar, but the things we do differ on are quite sensitive. It's really hard not to judge, so if your friend does say anything that you disagree with, hard as it is it's best to just smile and ignore. Try not to get hurt by these things.

fufulina, are you and your friend both first time mums?
I only ask because sometimes your child exhibits a certain behaviour, such as sleeping through the night, and you tend to think it's something you have done right and that it's how you've handled your child that has caused this.
in fact, it's probably more about luck than judgement. but she may feel that she has somehow managed to get it right and that you are being "soft" on your dd simply because she isn't sleeping through.

it isn't until you have more kids that you find out just how much is trial and error and the things you thought you were so great at were just flukes

we thought we had it sorted with ds1. sleeping through the night from about 12 weeks, blissfully content baby, hardly cried.
so ds2 was a bit of a shock to the system lol

Fufulina Most people wouldn't see that as feeding twice, but feeding once in the night i.e. between 12:30-7am.

The fact that she goes for 6 hours without feeding before that is also a miracle in most mothers' eyes. I hope you are catching up on your sleep during that time.

Why would you want to be 'harsh' to such a tiny baby? They don't know the norms and rules of our culture, and they won't understand why mummy was there whenever she needed her but doesn't like her any more.

My goodness, sounds like your friend needs to wind her neck in! Ds2 was still waking in the night till around a year old for milk and still does occasionally now and he is 15 months. YOur 16 week old is waking because it needs to have a feed and not because it is 'misbehaving'. You should listen to your baby, if it needs milk then give it. Sheesh why do so many mums think that babies must do x, y and z and that all babies should do what other peoples babies are??

Don't want to scare you but my ds is 10 mo and still bf and he still wakes up 2 or 3 times a night for as feed. I put him down at 7, he will generally wake up at about 10, than maybe 1 and then will have a long stretch until 7 or 8. Every baby is different. Dd was still bf at this stage but she slept through much earlier.

Hi This is yesterday - I'm a first time mum and my friend has a DD aged 3 and a second on the way.

I completely agree with you though - my DD is an angel and I firmly ascribe that to her - not anything we've done. Although my friend does think it's everything she and her husband did (CC at 3 days!) for why her DD sleeps well.

I also did think before I had DD that I would err more on the routine side of things but have been completely shocked by how I can't bear to hear her cry and am far more 'indulgent' than I thought I would be - and am loving it!

Thanks everyone for the input.

sounds like a good schedule, and similar to that of my 8 month old. (who also weighs 18 lbs!)

Yep, same as my 7 month old, incl the 3 hours between feeds during the day. Sounds like you are doing great.

But did you say CC at 3 days??? Oh dear god.

My 16 week old DD feeds typically something like 7.30, 11.30, 2.30, 5.30, 7.30 (that's a good night ) so certainly sounds perfectly normal to me! Your friend is just lucky. I can't understand what you are supposed to "do" about it anyway, refuse to feed a crying baby at 4am??

CC at 3 days?!! If thats not a warning you shouldn't take a scrap of notice about anything your friend says, I don't know what is!

Sounds like you are doing great. At 16 weeks waking twice a night is quite normal. And it won't last forever, it sometimes feels like it will, but really it won't

I was under the impression that CC shouldnt be used until a baby was 6months old. IMO it shouldnt be used at all. i couldnt bear to leave my babies to cry, thinking that their mum wasnt coming for them.

re sleeping through the night. DS1 slept through from 8pm til 7am when he was about 11months old. DS2 is now 7months and goes from 7pm til about 11pm, feeds for 20mins and then sleeps until about 3am, another feed and thats him through til 7am again.

CC at 3 days is cruel - how sad for her DD

My DS is almost 9 months old and still wakes in the night for a feed. He has been all over the place recently with teething but the last 2 nights has settled down again and he goes roughly 8-2am and then until 7/8am. We'll see how long it continues!

The pattern you have a 16 weeks sounds totally normal. You will probably have a growth spurt coming soon so if the waking up gets more regular then don't worry, just go with it until your supply and your baby are in sync again.